


Whiskey Nights

by Knight_of_Hell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Cheating, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Firefighter Dean, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mutual Pining, Original Character Death(s), POV Alternating, POV Castiel, POV Dean Winchester, Past Child Abuse, Pining Castiel, Pining Dean, Power top Dean, Rimming, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut, Sleepy Cuddles, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Top Dean, Trauma, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-02-11 22:23:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 71,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12945291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knight_of_Hell/pseuds/Knight_of_Hell
Summary: The year is 2009 and Dean Winchester's life has finally settled after an accident that occurred while on the job. He's traveled a long road and he couldn't be happier about how that road finally came to a great end. He'd even say he's gotten the Apple Pie life he's always wanted.One night, while at home, there's a news alert about a heavy storm that's headed through the midwest. However, what Dean wasn't prepared for is what comes along after the storm.





	1. Ride The Lightning

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting here. I hope that you enjoy the story!
> 
> I changed the title because i wasn't really feeling House of Cards after a while!

**April 17th, 2009**

The sound effects from the television were loud, but not loud enough to drown out the sounds of any alarms or background noise that would alert the department of any type of emergency.

Whenever there was nothing to do at the department, Dean would sit in the lounging area, watching old reruns of the X-files. It was one of his favorite shows that involved detective work or anything that caught his attention. However, he wasn’t a fan of the newer procedural cop shows. Actually, he couldn’t stand them. He preferred the classics. Each channel now had way too many of them, they all had the same plots, and they were just knockoffs of the original ones he used to watch when he was younger. 

Dean was too preoccupied watching the court scene that was on the screen to notice anyone else coming into the lounging room. He’d finished with his tasks so he figured he’d have a little downtime before their next assignment. “Hey you ass, I was watching that!” Dean chided, throwing his hands up for emphasis when the remote was snatched out of his hand and the television was switched off.

“Time for training.” Miller said in an authoritative tone before tossing the remote onto the table and walking away.

Sighing, Dean pushed up from the comfort of the pillowed nest he’d made on the couch and began to follow the other trainees to the outer facility. Outside, the skies were full of dark, ominous clouds and a light drizzling rain sprinkled down from them. In theory, it would have been nice to skip training altogether but of course they had to do drills or tasks every morning to stay sharp. The only problem was, Dean wasn’t sure what one they were going to be doing today.

As the rain continued to sprinkle down, Dean’s hair began to fall, clinging to his forehead like it was a lifeline. Ross then stepped out of the department with a starter gun in hand.

So they were doing escape tactics and running drills to help them move faster.

_Fan-fucking-tastic._

“All right, maggots, we’re doing a collapsing building escape tactic. I want to make sure all of you know the signs and what to look for when faced in a dangerous situation.” Ross began to walk back and forth so that he was able to look everyone in the eye. “I know that some of you are new and others are here just to brush up because it’s required but I just want you to know, we don’t want any incidents. Nor do I want some brash, pigheaded hero running into a fire unprepared.” Ross spoke loudly so that everyone was able to hear him. “Winchester and Gallagher, you’re up first! Show the new recruits how it’s done!” 

Gallagher was Dean’s partner in every situation, whether it was in practice or on the actual field. They’d met in Oklahoma when Dean was eating lunch in a truck stop diner while he was on a road trip during his time in college. They’d hit it off really well and exchanged information. It was then that Dean learned that Andy lived in his van and was always traveling because he didn’t like to stay in one place for too long. He’d also learned that Andy was the same age as his baby brother and that they had a lot in common. Even though a few years had passed, they’d managed to keep in touch until Andy moved to Kansas and joined the fire department with Dean. They had been partners ever since.

“Let’s do this.” Gallagher gave a cocky grin, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Yeah, let’s show these sons of bitches how it’s done.” Dean smirked, letting his gaze fall on a replica building the team always made to practice on.

The first thing they managed to do was put their Turnout gears on with thirty seconds to spare and took off sprinting so they would make it inside of the building before the timer went off. They headed up the stairs, searching for the floor that the practice area was located. When they finally found the floor, Andy took the left while Dean took the right and they both followed the voices of the teammates who were helping out in an enactment.

“Let me hear your voice!” Dean shouted, his voice echoing throughout the speakers on the outer field.

“Help me! I’m in here!” A man’s voice echoed, possibly a volunteer because Dean didn’t recognize the voice.

Dean ran after the voice, being careful not to step on any weak areas that would actually cause him harm. That was another thing they always had to look for.

“Keep talking so I can locate you!” Dean called out.

And the man complied. Dean followed the sound of his voice until he entered a dark room that had little ventilation. The room was dark and covered in soot. Even with the mask on, Dean was still having trouble locating the man, that is, until he made a noise by stumbling over debris.

“Hey, I’m Dean. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m here to get you to safety.” He’d practiced those words within his head for so many years until it was something he did automatically. It was a way to keep a person calm and to let them know that you weren’t going to danger them any further.

Dean rushed over to the man and lifted him up so that he was supporting a majority of his weight.

“Can you walk?” He asked. And when he received a nod in confirmation, he began to lead the man out of the building and out to the safety of the outer facility-training field.  


After “rescuing” their colleagues, Dean and Andy both went back inside, taking the same route and began to look around. Smoke filled the building as they began examining for any signs of extra danger or for other people they might have missed. 

_Keep your breathing calm and steady. Don’t use up all your oxygen. You can’t pass out on the field. People are depending on you. Your team is depending on you. Stay calm and remain vigilant. Shallow breathing. You got this. Remember that and you’ll always be okay._

The smog made it difficult to see as they walked around the dummy rooms. Of course there was old furniture and whatever else inside to make it seem as if it were a real building that had just been cleared of fire. Then again, there were actual buildings that they had set on fire just for practice purposes. The good thing was that they were easy to reconstruct and it gave them something to do whenever they had a slow day. 

Dean stepped on a piece of weak flooring that groaned in protest due to his weight and soon began to backtrack to find his partner. It was challenging to see inside of the building due to the fuming clouds of smog that filled each room. The atmosphere was hotter than a 101 degrees summer day in Texas and the Turnout gear only made it worse. But in these situations, they always had to remain calm; otherwise they’d risk using up all of their oxygen. 

The building began to tremble, loud crumbles of debris falling from the ceiling.

“She’s gonna fall! Gallagher, evacuate!” Dean shouted, alerting his partner.

Both men then headed back to the entryway, trudging down the stairwell as if their lives depended on it and darted out of the building, jumping to safety as the structure behind them began to tumble down into a pile of rubble.

“Always alert your partners if you feel that the building is going to crumble down on top of you. I need you guys to be sharp! Always pay attention to your surroundings. Make sure you guys can pull that off and you will always be safe!” Ross said, walking over towards Dean and Andy. “Good job, guys! Now, I want everyone to put on their Turnout gear and take three laps! Gotta practice running with heavy clothing so you might as well get used to it!”

“Yes, Sir!” echoed throughout the sea of trainees.

And then they were running along the wet trail in the frigid, wet air. Then, the 3-Alarm assignment went off, alerting everyone that they needed to move hurry and get dressed.

***

“Dean! What are you doing? That’s weak flooring!” Andy shouted after him.

But Dean wasn’t paying him any attention. There was fire, smoke, glass, and debris everywhere and Dean couldn’t possibly be bothered by it. He’d heard a cry for help and he was going to act on it. The safety of someone else’s life was at risk. That’s what a fireman does. They put their life on the line for someone else’s. Beneath him, he was able to hear other colleagues using the Halligan tool to feel where the weak spots were. He couldn’t care about that because someone was in danger.

Dean entered an apartment that was dark, filled with smoke, and humid. Glass crunched beneath his boots as he began searching the apartment for the voice he’d heard. He was positive it was from this direction.

“Let me hear your voice so I can find you.” He called out, keeping his voice level and calm. Even with a calm tone, his heart was hammering against his chest, rushing the blood to his ears in fear that he might not make it out. Or worse, might not be able to find the person he was searching for.

A whimper alerted Dean to a bedroom on the far west end that had glass shattered everywhere and soot staining the walls. The floor creaked with each step he took so he made sure to be cautious in case he found another weak spot. As he scanned the room, he saw a small foot beneath the debris-covered bed. A child. There was no way in hell he was going to leave a child behind. Being careful, Dean crouched down, resting his hand against the bed so that he wouldn’t lose balance.

“Hey, my name is Dean. I’m not going to hurt you, okay?” The words fell from his lips like he’d practiced them all of his life. They came natural to him when faced with danger. But working with children meant that you had to be very tender, otherwise you could startle them and make the situation worse. “I know that I may look scary, but I’m the good guy, okay? Wanna come out from under there so I can take you to safety? I promise you I’m not going to hurt you.”

Dean let out a breath of relief when the kid began to crawl from beneath the bed. He reached for a dingy blanket that was to his left and placed it on the floor so the kid wouldn’t get glass stuck in his feet. When the kid was upright, Dean lifted him up into his arms and held him against his chest so that he could leave the apartment building. As he walked through the hall, he could hear the floor creaking and feel it bend with his weight. _Fuck!_

“Gallagher!” He shouted, trying to locate his partner.

“I’m here!” Andy responded, waving his hands in the air to show Dean his location through the thick smog.

Dean trekked further, making his way over to his partner. He was desperate to get the child to safety and away from the weak flooring. When Dean’s foot went through one of the rotten floorboards, his heart nearly plummeted to the pit of his stomach. _Son of a bitch!_ His mind began to work in overtime, trying to figure out how he was going to get out of his situation with a scared little child in his arms. His heart raced, drumming haphazardly against his chest causing blood to rush to his ears.

“Dean!” Andy called, rushing over to him when he saw his partner in the hallway.

“Take the kid!” His voice was strained as panic filled his expression. Of course Andy couldn’t quite see through the mask but he could hear it in Dean’s voice.

Andy was swift to comply; stepping carefully against the creaking floors until he was able to take the kid that Dean was passing to him. He then noticed Dean’s foot was stuck and began to panic, calling for another colleague to come assist in this crisis Dean had gotten himself trapped in.

Dean’s heart began to hammer against his chest as he listened to other colleagues use the Halligan against the ceiling again, causing a piece of the floor he was trapped in to crumble. Dean’s leg went further down, causing him to topple over at an awkward angle and fall through the rotten floor and weak ceiling. Due to the gravitation, Dean managed to fall through another floor until he crashed against a table that was located in the hall on the first floor, softening his fall to an extent and landed on a hard tiled floor. 

Present Day  


August 17th, 2009

Droplets of rain trickled down the glass as a light shower of rain made its way down from the black, ominous sky. Dean sat in the living room with his leg propped up against a stack of pillows. He was in the middle of watching _Midnight Cowboy_ when an alert flashed across the screen, informing that the storm was going to get worse. Dean hated being alone at home whenever there was a storm, especially since he had limited mobility. It had been three months since he had broken his leg and now he was finally out of a cast but he wasn’t out of the woods yet. His leg wasn’t setting properly according to his doctor. His test results were always the same – one part of the bone was still shifted – and that was an issue. He was now in a brace with a cane placed beside him so he wouldn’t fall when he needed to walk around.

Little rumbles of thunder echoed outside while streaks of lightning illuminated the sky. The news warning only said that there was going to be heavy thunderstorms and lightning. Another flash of lightning brightened the sky, causing his entire living room to fill with light as a crack of thunder juddered the house. Dean lifted up slowly from his comfortable spot and turned to look out of the window. He could see the wind blowing the tree branches down at an awkward angle. Being in the Midwest, he was always used to these kinds of storms but this one felt different somehow.

His lips parted as he noticed the rain was no longer just a slight mist, but it was pouring down as if it were in a tropical forest. _This is new._ The streets began to flood with water, the sewer drains working hard to take in the rush of rainwater that was now coming down nonstop. Lightning brightened the sky again, this time over his house, causing the darkness to become unbearably engulfed in a brilliant white flash of light. He wasn’t sure whether to panic or just go to bed and hope that it would be over in the morning.

The sound of a loud heavy guitar riff startled him out of his thoughts. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. It was from a number he didn’t recognize. Upon closer inspection, he wasn’t even sure if it was an actual number.

“Could this day get any weirder?”

When Dean tried to reject the call, he noticed that the button wouldn’t comply. His eyebrows drew together as he stared at the number on the cellphone screen. He then answered the call and placed the phone up to his ear.

“Yeah?” He questioned, his features full of skepticism. This had to be a prank call or something this late at night.

On the other end of the line was nothing but static.

“What the hell.” He muttered as he took the phone away from his ear and gawked at the screen.

Again, he tried to end the call but the button wouldn’t comply. His head jerked towards the television, an expression of bewilderment on his features, when he heard the movie he was watching switch to nothing but static. Dean lowered his leg from the couch and began to rise up from his spot. He began to survey the area, wondering if something was going on. Maybe Charlie had hacked his equipment. It wouldn’t be the first time she and Sam conspired against him. The static from the television and his cellphone continued to increase in volume, causing him to drop his phone and cover his ears.

Then, a blaring static began to emit from the speakers of the radio, playing a jumbled mashed mix of _Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Metallica,_ and _Blue Öyster Cult_. His eye darted around as he continued to cover his ears. The sound was now giving him a migraine, causing an intense pounding to drum within his ears and throughout his entire body. His breathing became labored as he sank back down onto the couch. A cry of agony left his lips, his body feeling as if it were on fire now.

Suddenly, the torturous sounds stopped. Dean’s heart continued to drum within his ribcage as he cautiously made his way back into a sitting position. The radio had stopped playing, the call had ended, and the television turned itself off. Dean wasn’t sure if he should be freaked out or calling Sam and or Charlie to tear them a new one. Again, this had to be some kind of prank they wanted to play on him for all those times he’d caught them off guard with tricks of his own.

Deciding he’d had enough for one night, Dean rose from his spot on the couch and grabbed his cane. Even though he hated walking with it, Charlie had insisted – with the help of Sam – that he used it for their sake. He rounded the sectional and managed to hobble up the stairs. Going to the second floor was always a challenge for him. The pain in his leg got worse and the throbbing within his chest made it seem as if he couldn’t breathe.

When Dean entered his bedroom, he removed his shirt, tossing it onto the floor, and then sat down on the bed. He worked on the leg brace, unfastening all of the straps until he was able to remove it and then took off his pants and boxers next. His body finally felt free but his muscles were still tense from the aftershock of the bass that still thrummed through his body. He lied down on top of the blankets and closed his eyes, letting his mind go blank. The thought of jerking off flashed repeatedly through his mind. It was his favorite way to relax and ease the tension. He then figured why the hell not and tried to dig up a fantasy he’d always wanted to do. 

Dean’s breathing began to shallow with arousal, his chest rising and falling in time with the thoughts that were playing in his head. He settled on one of Carmen handcuffed to the bed. They’d never done anything like that because she was against it, but of course it was still something he let play in his head from time to time. He scooted until he was in the center of the bed and splayed out partially, lifting his left leg until it was bent against the bed.

He began to apply delicate strokes of his fingertips along the shaft of his cock, the feather light touches causing shivers to tingle along his spine. He continued to picture Carmen on the bed as he thrust their bodies together. Dean ran his left hand over his chest while using his right hand to stroke along the shaft. His fingers ran over his nipple, causing his skin to prickle at the sensation. His right hand then started pulling faster, twisting at the skin and massaging along the shaft. He reached down with his left hand and began to fondle at his balls while thrusting up into his hand.

A soft moan left his lips as the scene he was picturing began to change. He ran the tip of his finger through the precum that leaked from the slit of his cock and spread it along the shaft for an easier stroke. He twisted his wrist again, rubbing the underside of the head and shaft now. A guttural moan rumbled within his throat as a a pair of ocean blue eyes and dark brown hair began to appear on the woman. Dean wasn’t sure where the image came from but the woman on the bed no longer resembled his fiancée. She had plush pink lips, the same ocean blue eyes, and dark brown hair. Her fingers were tightly laced within his hair as he rocked their bodies together.

As Dean continued to picture those ocean blue eyes, his body began to feel as if it were on fire as his balls tightened. Stripes of cum leaked out of the head, spurting against his bare chest, stomach, and hand. His breathing came in heavy gasps as he stared up at the ceiling. He then closed his eyes, still seeing the ocean blue behind his eyelids. When the heat evaporated from his body, Dean reached over to the nightstand and pulled a Kleenex to clean off his mess.

It was finally time for bed. He settled back into the covers and let sleep overtake him. 

As the night went on, it stayed quiet within the large house. The only sound that was audible was the harsh rumbles of thunder that sounded within the sky periodically throughout the night. This was a sound that Dean had grown used to before falling asleep some hours before. As the distant rumbles of thunder sounded in the background, a new sound that was highly unfamiliar startled Dean out of his sleep. It was the static he’d heard earlier. Panic began to settle within his gut as he glanced around the room. The static began to increase in volume again. It was coming from downstairs again, making its way upstairs to his bedroom. He was instantly alert at the sound, the panic anchoring itself into his stomach.

Dean frowned as he threw back the covers and twisted on the bed so that he had his feet on the floor. The light on his phone came on; emitting the same static he’d heard earlier. He looked around in puzzlement as the sound from his cellphone became louder. Again, he was able to hear the jumbled mess of _Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Metallica,_ and _Blue Öyster Cult_ blaring through the radio. Dean managed to stand up from the bed without falling over and slipped on the gray pajama bottoms and a _Led Zeppelin_ t-shirt.

He began to look around the room again, trying to figure out exactly what was happening. Outside, the lightning continued to flash through the sky and the thunder began to increase in volume, as did the music and static, causing the house to vibrate. Dean placed his hands over his ears when the sound was replaced with a high-pitched frequency. He groaned out in agony as he dropped onto his left knee. This couldn’t have been a prank. His lashes squeezed against his cheeks as he doubled over in pain, a warm liquid seeping its way onto his palms. The house began to quake, the window quivering and creaking in protest before cracks made their way along the glass. 

Screams of agony left Dean’s lips, as he stayed doubled over, shielding himself in case the window shattered as the wind began to beat against the glass. When the high-pitched frequency stopped and was replaced with a heavy tumbling sound on the roof, Dean rose up from his position to settle on his left knee. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, taking note of how bright the lightening was before going completely black. Dean’s heart strummed painfully inside of his ribcage, causing the ache to return tenfold.

When he removed his hands from his ears, he noticed that his palms were stained in blood. The skin on his forehead wrinkled as he continued to stare at the blood running down his wrists. His ears were bleeding. The blood trickled down from his ears, settling along his jaw, neck, and the collar of his shirt. He leaned over so that he was able to grab some Kleenex from the nightstand and then used the tissues to clean away the blood. After he removed the blood from the sides of his face, he cleaned off his hands as best as he could. They were still stained with red. There was another tumbling sound coming from the roof again, alerting Dean to its location.

Cautiously, Dean rose to his feet, being aware of the throbbing within his leg. As quietly as possible, Dean reached under his pillow and pulled out a silver Colt M1911A he kept hidden. When the tumbling on the roof echoed throughout his bedroom, Dean managed to limp towards the door, grabbed a flannel jacket to keep warm, slipped it over his arms, and threw on a pair of work boots. With determination, Dean hobbled downstairs into the living room and paused when he heard the last sound on his roof. He rushed out of the front door only to see a body fall from his roof and onto the ground. A flash of lightening struck across the sky when the body hit the ground.

“What the fuck?” Dean whispered to himself as he watched what registered to him as a tan trench coat shift after a moment.

Dean’s grip on the handgun tightened as he lifted the weapon and held it pointedly at the figure on the ground. It wasn’t every day that someone fell off of your roof and onto your front lawn. In Dean’s mind, this could have been a number of things. Someone who wanted to come in and rob him of everything he’d worked for or a person who tried to use his roof to commit suicide and fell during the storm. Dean then looked up at the sky, noticing that the heavy rain was now a light mist coating the ground.

The figure on the ground let out a soft groan then rolled over onto hands and knees to push upward. When the figure stood up, Dean was able to tell that this was a man. He began to stretch, his bones cracked as he bent his body from side to side with his arms clasped behind his back. Dean began to wonder what was a man doing on his roof in the first place and if he should go over and assist him. The man stood awkwardly with his hands limply at his sides as he surveyed the area possibly.

There was a low groan from the male as he reached up to rub at his head. He then began to dust off his jacket and let out a soft sigh as he shook his head, probably trying to clear it of disorientation. After a moment, the male finally turned around and gawked at Dean with such an intense yet confusing stare that it made him feel uncomfortable to a point to where he slightly lowered his gun and shifted his stance a bit.

“Dean?” The male asked in a deep, gravelly voice. The look on his face told Dean that he was shocked to see him standing there. “What year are you from?”

At the sound of his name being called from out of the male’s mouth, Dean’s eyes widened in shock. How did this man know his name? He was positive that they’d never met before considering Dean had a knack for remembering faces. Dean’s eyes skimmed over the male, taking in his wet appearance, disheveled brown hair, and striking blue eyes. Dean’s gaze stayed transfixed on those ocean blue eyes as if he were in some sort of trance. He swallowed, letting his gaze fall to his straight nose and then to his pink lips. 

Dean’s skin began to prickle the longer he stared but he couldn’t bring himself to turn away. He took note of the cupids bow on his lips, how plush they were, and how the droplets of water rested against them. Dean’s breath began to shallow, his arms trembling just slightly as he was losing concentration on why he had originally come outside. He then managed to blink, breaking the hypnotic gaze and drifted his observation downward to take in his outfit. His clothes were too big for his body, which made him look informally dressed.

“Uhm, do I know you?” Dean questioned as his grip on the handgun tightened. His head tilted at the question when he finally remembered he had been asked one. Shouldn’t he know what year it was? “It’s 2009… Are you all right?”

Blue eyes focused on him with such intensity that Dean shifted his stance from a sense of unease. “No, I suppose _you_ wouldn’t.” The man finally answered. The ringing within his ears made it difficult for Dean to hear him but at least he was able to manage. “I will be once I figure out what’s going on.”

“Then who are you? And why the hell did you fall off of my roof? Are you some kind of burglar?” Dean questioned – his voice louder than necessary – as he prepared to take a step forward with his handgun ready to be put to use.

The male shook his head for a moment before focusing on Dean again. He then looked around with curiosity as he took in the house behind Dean and the ones surrounding the neighborhood. There was a look of sheer bewilderment on his features – his eyebrows pulling down – as he finally took note of the handgun in Dean’s grasp then held his hands up in defense.

“I assure you, I mean you no harm. I must be in some kind of alternate universe. Honestly. I don’t know how I got here.” He said as he dared to take a step then groaned in discomfort when his knees visibly buckled. He began to rub his hands over the sore area, his gaze never faltering from Dean.

“What’s your name?” Dean demanded as his green gaze narrowed on the male.

The male let out a breath, “My name is Castiel.” A flash of lightning lit up the sky as a crack of thunder echoed within the distance. “I am not here to steal your possessions. Nor is a gun really necessary for this encounter.”

“Yeah, well I’m not putting it away until I’m sure about that, pal.” Dean said with a fierce expression. “So, Castiel” Dean called sarcastically, “Why are you here?”

Castiel sighed softly once again then ran a hand through his disheveled hair, mussing it up even worse. “I don’t know why I’m here. I was with... a friend of mine. His name is Dean. He has a brother named Sam. I was with them when I received a stress call and I took off. When I made it to the portal, I got struck by lightning and saw this bright light as I fell into it and landed on your roof. I kept trying to stand up but I slipped and landed here.” He looked over at the other male in hopes that his story would be enough.

Dean’s gaze landed on Castiel’s mouth as he spoke. It was as if he were watching the man form every single word in a fixated manner. Dean’s brows furrowed in a mixture of emotions when he registered what the man had actually said. A guess of his name and now one of his brothers? Plus he claimed that they were friends from wherever he traveled from. This had to be some joke. Right? This couldn’t be really happening. Not now out of all the times in his life. 

“You have a friend named Dean who just happens to have a brother named Sam? What kind of sick joke are you running here, you son of a bitch?” Dean’s eyes returned to their fierce glare as he watched the man before him. He managed to focus on a part of the man’s face that wasn't his eyes or lips.

Castiel shook his head in defense, “I know this seems weird but this isn’t what it looks like. I swear.”

“To me it looks like you were on my roof trying to break into my house. You fell off and got caught. So now you’re trying to say something that will make me ease up. It ain’t happening, pal. Now how do you know me and my brother?” Dean demanded, his voice growing rough with irritation.

Castiel then swallowed, wondering how he was going to explain himself. It was obvious to him that he was in some sort of alternate universe where he and Dean never met and he had no idea how he got stuck. Should he reveal himself to this man? So far he was running out of options and if he didn’t want to risk getting shot, he had to come clean now.

“My name is Castiel. I am an Angel of the Lord. Where I’m from, I am a friend of Sam and Dean. I don’t know how I got here but I assure you I am not a stalker. Nor am I a burglar, or a person trying to commit suicide, and I mean you no harm.” He answered honestly, his ocean blue eyes pleading for Dean to believe him.

Dean’s expression briefly changed to bewilderment. _An Angel? Those didn’t exist._ As Dean registered Castiel’s words, he began to chuckle in disbelief. “You’ve got to be shitting me. Angels don’t exist. And … wait, how did you know I was going to call you a stalker?” His eyes narrowed slightly as he lowered his gun for the second time.

“Of course Angels exist, how else would I be here? And, I was able to pick it from your mind. I promised _my_ Dean that I wouldn’t do it anymore. But here I am with you and I have no way to return to my own universe.”

Dean noticed the way Castiel was standing. His hands lay limp against his side, his feet were spaced apart, and he continued to wear the puzzled expression with wide blue eyes that were practically begging for Dean to just listen. He honestly didn't seem like a threat. His fingers twitched at his sides as Dean continued to give him an onceover. Dean was hyperaware of the way Castiel’s lips were parted and his ocean blue eyes pleading, matching his puzzled expression. For some odd reason, Dean was starting to find the look to suit him. What was even more odd was the fact that Dean was beginning to actually like the way it looked on him. A shudder coursed through his body as he thought about actually liking the way another man looked.

Dean pressed his lips together for a moment then brought the gun up to his hair and used the butt to scratch at the back of his scalp. As he stood there observing Castiel, he was starting to feel sorry for this man. Though, honestly it seemed as if he were on some sort of hallucinogenic drug that made him believe he was an Angel. That may have been the reason he was on his roof; he was trying to fly. The names could be a coincidence. Maybe he needed some coffee and some food to help him better adjust to whatever drugs he’d taken. He knew it was bad to take anything on an empty stomach. He’d had many experiences with that sort of thing. Though that was years ago when he was in college.

Dean ran a hand over the side of his face, “All right man, look. It’s cold and raining out and I think maybe you hit your head or something because you’re literally spewing nonsense. I’ll make a pot of coffee. Do you need something to eat? I can cook breakfast.” Dean offered after a moment of silently judging the male. 

“Angels do not need to eat. But I will take coffee since I’ve grown used to the taste.” Castiel answered then frowned when he heard Dean’s chuckle.

Castiel tilted his head towards the side with a perplexed expression as he watched Dean. Without noticing, his gaze drifted to Dean’s green eyes. He’d seen them so many times before but now it was like looking at a stranger. He then began to focus on Dean’s lips. They were pink and plush. Even though he’d put Dean back together and seen him everyday, this somehow, was different. The Dean that was standing in front of him had the same face yet this one wasn’t clean-shaven and his hair was a mussed in different directions. He was also a past version of Dean.

This was going to be a very long and confusing talk once they were inside. With a nervous breath, Castiel followed Dean inside of the house then looked around in amazement once he closed the door behind him. He then mimicked Dean’s movements and removed his shoes and trench coat, hanging it up on the rack where Dean placed his flannel jacket. His wet clothes clung to his skin, making his movements sluggish as he stepped further into the house.

The house was very homey with a Dean sort of vibe that Castiel couldn’t quite place. Everything was organized from top to bottom. It began to remind Castiel of Dean’s bedroom back at the bunker though he knew he wouldn’t be seeing that place for some time. The living room was spacious with a sectional couch, a La-Z Boy recliner chair and a small loveseat as well. A 70-inch television hung above the fireplace and on the mantel was some game systems Castiel didn’t know by heart. There was a large bookcase that took up half of the wall and the other half was what Castiel assumed was movies and video games. 

As Castiel trailed behind Dean, he noticed that the kitchen was just as expansive. There were enough cabinets to hide plenty of snacks and counter space to make large family meals. Off towards the side, near a large window, was a small square table with four seats. There was a dining room in passing that had an eight-seated table. It came to his attention that this Dean must be quite successful in his life and for that reason a twinge of sadness course through him. Cautiously, Castiel went to have a seat at the island that was in the kitchen.

Dean placed his gun within the back of his waistband beneath his black t-shirt then strode into the kitchen. He grabbed the coffee pot, swished water around it, and then filled it with enough water to make enough coffee for four people. After the coffee maker was brewing their drinks, Dean turned around to face Castiel; his eyes still a blank abyss of green. He wasn’t sure what to make of this stranger in his home.

“You must be soaked.” Dean observed as he took in his shapeless suit. “I have some dry clothes if you want. We seem to be about the same size. It’s hard to tell with that baggy suit of yours, but I’m sure I can make do.”

Castiel’s gaze fell upon Dean as a smile came to his lips, “Thank you, Dean. I would much appreciate it.”

Dean grunted in response as he pushed himself from the counter, hips first, and made his way towards the laundry room. Dean ran his hands over his face, letting out a forced breath. _What the hell am I doing?_ He was letting a stranger wear his clothes. He brought a stranger into his house and offered to make him food. Dean then began to remove his clothes, tossing his shirt onto the floor then carefully removed his pants after putting his gun on top of the dryer. His body was still damp from the rain but at least he felt free from the clinging clothes. 

He then reached into the dryer and pulled out a fresh pair of pajama bottoms and a _Black Sabbath_ t-shirt to wear. After he was fully dressed, he reached for his Colt and tucked it back into his waistband. When he closed his eyes, it was like he could practically see those bright blue eyes staring back at him. What was his ordeal with those eyes? He’d seen blue eyes, brown hair, and plush pink lips plenty of times… on women. Why was this a big deal for him all of a sudden? There was a tight clenching ache inside of his chest. It started to feel as if he were becoming empty inside. _What the hell?_

Ignoring the feeling, he picked up a fresh pair of jogging pants, a black t-shirt, some socks, and a new pair of boxers. After he had the clothes ready, he walked towards the bathroom and sat them on the counter. He hesitated, staring at his reflection in the mirror for a moment, wondering if this was a mistake. He let out a huff of air and left the bathroom so that he could go back into the kitchen. He stood in the frame of the entryway and began contemplating whether or not he should just make this stranger leave. His teeth clicked beneath his jaws at the thought and he went further into the kitchen, standing next to Castiel. He looked over at Castiel with a detached expression before taking his spot against the counter once again.

“Clothes are in the bathroom down the hall and to your left. There’s a shower in there too if you want to freshen up and get warm.” Dean announced, “Leave your clothes in there and I’ll wash them in the morning, along with your coat. While you’re in there I’ll cook breakfast.”

Castiel nodded, giving a polite smile as he stood up then looked at Dean once again. He made sure to focus on a center point of his face, preferably his nose. It seemed pointless to explain to the man that he didn’t need anything to eat since it just tasted like molecules to him anyways. As Castiel walked through the hall, he spotted the bathroom then went inside and closed the door. He then stared at his reflection, lost in the thoughts of how he was going to make back home. When his vision finally focused on his image, he noticed that his vessel had regressed in age. He desperately wanted to get back to the hunter Dean that he knew. So far he seemed stuck and that was something that he didn’t agree with.

As the coffee continued to brew, Dean fixed two separate mugs for him and Castiel. He then took out a skillet so that he was able to make eggs, bacon, sausages, and a flat sheet to cook biscuits on. He busied himself with cooking the food so that he wouldn't have to think about those ocean blue eyes or plush pink lips. They were becoming forbidden territory. Just as he was fixing both mugs of coffee, Castiel walked back into the kitchen and reclaimed his original seat. His blue eyes were wide with something Dean couldn’t quite place.

“Everything smells good.” Castiel complimented as he looked at Dean. His lips then pressed together as he made the mistake of letting his gaze fall to Dean’s lips. This was never an issue back home. Well, it was but it was an unspoken thing. He could always cover himself up by saying he was counting Dean’s freckles. 

“Uh, thanks.” Dean muttered, reaching up to scratch at the back of his head. “How do you take your coffee?”

Castiel cleared his throat then took a small, shaky breath to settle his nerves, “Usually black.”

Dean just nodded then reached into the upper cabinet and pulled out a small brown container then scooped its contents into one of the mugs. He then poured coffee into both of their mugs; stirred one of them, then placed that specific one in front of Castiel. Dean then blew on his coffee, waited a second, then took a sip, the corner of his mouth twitching as the heat settled against his skin as he waited for Castiel to try his own.

With hesitation, Castiel mimicked Dean’s motions and took a sip of the coffee. A soft moan sounded within his throat as he took another sip of coffee. There was a taste that he couldn’t quite place. It didn’t taste like the black coffee he’d always drunk with Dean in his universe. _What is that?_ He questioned himself as he took another sip.

“How you like the coffee? I added hazelnut to yours.” Dean said, answering Castiel’s mental question. He made a mental note to not pay attention to the soft moans that would come from Castiel whenever he drank something he enjoyed.

“I thought you only drank black coffee.” Castiel whispered around his cup.

“Yeah, but my fiancée likes the fancy flavors.” Dean answered with a shrug.

Castiel nodded as a frown slowly slid onto his lips. When he noticed he was frowning, he used the mug to cover his mouth to hide his grimace. Why was he frowning exactly? He didn’t know. He then focused his attention on Dean again as he began fixing both of them plates of food to go with their coffee. His muscles flexed beneath his shirt as he worked in a meticulous manner. Whenever Dean moved a certain way, Castiel was able to see the taut skin of his back and his hips. Castiel sipped at his coffee again when he felt his mouth run dry. Once Dean placed Castiel’s plate in front of him, he grabbed his own coffee then his plate and moved to sit beside Castiel. He honestly wasn’t expecting Dean to sit next to him. The motion actually caught him off guard, which caused him to stare.

“Cas… I’m gonna call you Cas. Uhm, how’s your head? Maybe I can take you to the hospital and see if a doctor can determine if you have a concussion? Either that or I can give you a small examination of my own but I think a doctor would have better judgment.” Dean asked after swallowing a mouth full of bacon.

Castiel shook his head, his blue eyes widening in alarm. That was the last thing he needed right now. Plus, he knew he’d heal within a few days. The trip to this alternate universe probably drained him and all he has to do is rest to regain his power. On the bright side, it felt good to hear his nickname again even if it wasn’t from the hunter Dean.

“I think rest will suffice. I can find a motel to stay in so I can rest there.” Castiel answered after a moment of silence. He then looked down at his plate of food, a frown crossing his features as he did so. Without a second thought, he passed the bacon over onto Dean’s plate. It was something he’d grown used to doing whenever he ordered breakfast with his friends.

Dean’s eyebrow arched with curiosity, “You don’t like bacon?” He asked, his expression somewhat offended as he glanced down at the new strips that were on his plate.

Castiel nodded, “I do, I’m just not that hungry.” He answered to ease the male’s curiosity. He then used his fork to puncture a few eggs then brought them to his mouth to eat. His nose wrinkled at the taste. The food tasted like molecules, which meant that he was still an Angel. He was thankful for that at least. Even if he was a powered down Angel, he still had his some powers whenever they returned.

“Y’know,” He began, his mouth moving against his better judgment, “You can stay here for the night. I have a spare bedroom upstairs. I’d also like to keep an eye on you to make sure you’re okay in the morning.” Dean offered after chewing off a piece of bacon.

Castiel looked down at his mug of coffee, “Thank you, Dean. I really appreciate it. If there’s anything you need, I’ll gladly help you. If you like, I can heal your broken leg once my grace is restored.” He offered, wondering if his words would cause the male to think of him as crazy.

“Sure, Cas.” Dean scoffed with a laugh and then bit into a buttery biscuit.

They both sat in silence while Dean ate his plate of food. Dean would occasionally let his gaze drift over towards Castiel. He had an absent expression but his eyes were still wide. His jaws clenched when he realized that he actually liked the way the other man looked in his clothes. _I didn’t raise you to be no faggot, boy._ The words that echoed within his mind made his blood run cold.

***

After Dean and Castiel were finished with breakfast and the dishes were washed, Dean began to guide Castiel upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms. As they were in the hallway, Dean noticed Castiel looking at the picture of him and Carmen with her engagement ring showing that was along the wall of the staircase. He seemed to focus his attention on him and his fiancée, a perplexed look on his face. 

“I never thought Dean Winchester would get married.” Castiel whispered in disbelief to himself.

Dean halted in his tracks then turned to face the male behind him, “How the hell do you know my last name?” This couldn’t be a coincidence like he thought it to be earlier.

Castiel’s eyes widened in horror as if he realized his mistake, “I already told you that I knew you in my universe, you don’t believe me. You already think of me as crazy just like earlier when you thought I was on some sort of drugs. I assure you, I’m not.”

Dean’s lips pressed together as he bit back the urge to grab hold of this man and shake him until he told him the truth. “As I told you, Angels don’t exist. Time travel ain’t real, and there’s no such thing as alternate universes.” Dean said grumpily as he hobbled up the stairs.

With a huff, Castiel silenced himself to keep from retorting back. They walked to the guest bedroom in silence. Once they were at the guest room, Dean just gestured for Castiel to enter. He then headed to his own bedroom, muttering a good night in his departure. When he was inside, he closed the door then locked it for safe measure. Dean then got back into bed, placed his gun beneath the pillow and fell into a dreamful sleep.

***

With a sigh, Castiel pressed his back against the door and closed his eyes. This was never an issue back home. Sure he’s stared at Dean countless times but for some reason, this felt different. There was this … pull that he couldn’t quite understand. He didn’t know why he was feeling it. He pushed himself from the door, his hips jutting out until his upper body followed, and then removed his shirt. 

_Maybe I can contact Dean._ He really needed to speak to his friend.

Castiel closed his eyes after getting into bed and began to focus his energy on finding _his_ Dean. He had to get a message across but projecting himself would be difficult since his grace was already so weak. It would also be an issue if Dean weren’t even asleep yet. But that didn’t mean Castiel wasn’t going to try. If he couldn’t reach Dean then he might even try Sam. He was practically desperate to try anything. He just wanted to go home. He had to get out of this universe.

There was an intense throbbing at the front of Castiel’s head but he knew that he had to ignore it if he wanted to find Dean and notify him of what happened. He reached up and placed his hands against his temples, rubbing them to ease the pain as he concentrated on his task. When he looked around again, he realized he was transported to a field. Ahead of him was an ocean, waves delicately sloshing against the shore as the wind blew. Castiel began to walk until he noticed a figure sitting on a lounging chair. His heart throbbed in his chest as he made his way over.

“Dean?” Cas called out once he was close enough to get the other’s attention.

“Cas? What are you doing in my dream?” Dean asked with a confused expression.

Castiel’s heart fell into his stomach as he began to panic. This was wrong. Maybe his hunter friend wasn’t asleep yet. Doing the only logical thing, he severed the connection. 

His eyes flew open as he gasped for air. Dream walking was never a painful experience until now.

***

That next morning, Dean woke with what most would call morning wood. He wasn’t even sure what the dream he was having was about but it was enough to give him a hard-on while asleep. This was something he’d take care of in the shower once he decided to actually get out of bed. Or maybe it was his body’s way of saying he missed Carmen. They hadn’t seen each other in over a month, other than Skype, phone calls sending video and picture messages to each other but that was for the first three weeks of her being gone. It’s been a month and three weeks since he last heard from her.

Without any thought, Dean reached for his phone then scrolled through his images until he found one of her she’d sent him after her shower. It was enough to get him out of bed to take a shower of his own so that he would be able to take care of his hard-on. Dean got out of bed and made his way into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He undressed his clothes and threw them in the hamper that he kept in the corner then stepped into the spray. The shower was nice and hot against his skin as he washed over himself. While spreading the soap around, he would occasionally stroke along his cock. He continued those motions until his cock was hard and throbbing for release. After rinsing off with water, he took the soap and poured some into his hand then used it as lube to stroke over his cock with ease.

In his mind, he kept picturing Carmen and the times they spent together in the shower. The fantasy was enough to cause a soft groan to rumble within his throat. His hips slowly began to thrust, matching the slow and steady pace his hand was creating. His fingers curled tightly around the shaft as he used his index finger to massage underneath the head. A shiver coursed through his body as his breath began to slow with desire. His fingers loosened around his shaft as he began to use the pads of his fingertips to massage along the underside of his cock.

Another low groan escaped his lips as his fingers tightened around his shaft once again. His hips then began to pick up speed, thrusting at a moderate pace. Dean then closed his eyes and began to picture Carmen once again, this time in another position. At this very moment, he wished she were here with him, with her legs wrapped securely around his waist as he gazed into her blue eyes.

Dean’s hand ceased its ministrations as his breath caught in his throat. His body went completely rigid as he blinked away the image of the blue-eyed woman. Carmen didn’t have blue eyes. Dean then frowned as he stood in the spray of hot water to wash the soap from his body.

“Shit!” Dean muttered as he punched his fist against the tile of the shower. “This can’t be happening.”

After Dean got out of the shower, he toweled off then dressed in a pair of dark gray jogging pants, some black socks, and a black Led Zeppelin t-shirt. He then made his way downstairs and headed into the kitchen then ran a hand over his face as he leaned against the counter while letting a heavy sigh leave his lips. What the hell was his mind thinking? This couldn’t be happening to him. It had to be that his mind was playing tricks on him due to sexual deprivation. 

It was then that he decided he needed coffee and food to start his day. So he took out everything he needed to make a small breakfast and put on a pot of coffee. For some reason, yesterday seemed like one horrific nightmare. The static, the weird noise, and all of his electronics coming to life on their own just seemed like one horrifying nightmare. Pushing his thoughts aside, Dean began scrambling the eggs the way he liked before focusing his attention on the bacon. After the main part of the food was finished, Dean went ahead and put bread in the toaster while letting the sausages cook.

Dean picked up a strip of bacon and began to nibble on it while he waited for the coffee to finish. When just eating the strips of bacon weren’t enough, he went ahead and fixed him a plate of food and began eating while standing up at the counter. It was something he always did whenever he was in a rush before running off to work.

Once the coffee was finished, he poured himself a cup then turned to face the front of the kitchen and brought the cup to his lips. Just as he did so, his eyes widened in surprise at the sight before him as Castiel rounded the corner into the kitchen. He’d forgotten that the man was actually in his house or that he even offered him to stay the night to begin with. It felt as if he’d dreamt the whole situation up.

Dean choked on his sip of scorching hot coffee causing it to spray from his lips, “Oh jeez, you’re real.” Dean muttered in a startled tone.

“Of course I’m real, Dean.” Castiel said with a bit of confusion. “Something the matter?”

Dean just shook his head, wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and took to his coffee. He couldn’t help but to take in Castiel’s appearance again. He now donned a five o’clock shadow with strikingly blue eyes that screamed they were still tired. Dean’s breath began to shallow as he felt himself now being captivated by those blue eyes. His gaze then lowered, noticing the pink of his lips and how plush they were. Secretly, he would admit that Castiel was actually good looking. But he shouldn’t be thinking that way about another man. Without a second thought, he gritted his teeth and tore his gaze away so that he could finish his coffee.

“Mind if I get some coffee?” Castiel asked as he reached for the mug he had earlier that morning.

Not bothering to answer, Dean stepped aside so that Castiel was able to make his own coffee. He then reached into the cabinet and took out the hazelnut flavoring that Carmen always used whenever she was over and placed it on the counter in case Castiel wanted to use it. To his surprise, Castiel did add it to his coffee then went to sit down in the same seat he had when he first arrived. With a sigh, Dean took his seat next to Castiel and they drank their coffee in silence.

After Dean finished his coffee, he placed the mug into the sink and headed to the living room. He picked up the trench coat and his flannel jacket then headed into the bathroom so that he was able to grab Castiel’s clothes. When he had all of the items, he headed back to where the laundry room was. Dean began to hum _Some Kind of Monster_ by _Metallica_ and sat the clothes on top of the dryer and then began rummaging through the pockets for any belongings he may have carried with him. 

Dean managed to pull out a wallet when he went through the inner pocket of the trench coat. Curious, he opened the wallet, discovering a license belonging to a _James Novak_. Dean eyed the wallet suspiciously before placing it on an empty space on top of the dryer then went back to pull out an FBI badge that had the words “Agent _Beyoncé_ ” on the ID card from the inner coat pocket and tossed it on top of the wallet. Dean chuckled at the name, his head shaking in disbelief. _That would explain the cheap suit._ When Dean lifted the jacket and gave it a light shake – a metal clanking sound echoed throughout the room, catching his attention.

He bent down to pick up a long, silver, triple-edged dagger and held it up at eye level. He rotated the dagger in his hand before pressing the tip of his finger against the edge to see if it was sharp. Dean made a face, as if stating the weapon seemed pretty cool before putting it up on the dryer with the rest of the items.

As Dean loaded the washer with his and Castiel’s clothing, Dean then checked the dryer and unloaded the clothes that were inside. When Dean was finished in the laundry room, he headed back out into the living room with the items he’d found to discover Castiel looking at the pictures on the wall. Dean slowly walked towards Castiel but he made sure to keep a sizeable distance between them.

“I didn’t know you were a firefighter.” Castiel called out to Dean.

Dean cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah. Going on six years now.” 

“Is that how you broke your leg?” Castiel asked after a moment of silence.

Dean just nodded then lowered his eyes in embarrassment. “I fell through a weak spot from a third story building after transferring a kid to my partner.”

Castiel turned towards Dean, a soft smile on his lips. “That was very sweet of you, Dean.” Castiel said as he turned his body to fully face the other male. His gaze drifted to the Angel blade that was in Dean’s grasp before returning to his face.

“Yeah, well… What can I say? I love kids.” Dean gave a noncommittal shrug at his words. 

As Castiel continued to stare at Dean, the more his expression changed to that of adoration, mainly from his own memories of the hunter Dean and how he'd rather save a child than himself.

Dean waved the wallet and FBI badge in front of Castiel, deflecting the conversation. “So uh, I found this in your pockets. Your name is James? You didn’t have to lie to me. You know that right?” He wanted to remove that look from the other man’s face. It was honestly unsettling considering they barely knew each other.

Castiel frowned, looking over at Dean then at the wallet that was being handed to him. “Oh, no. My name _is_ Castiel. This is, uh, a vessel.” His gaze flickered to Dean’s face, trying to read the emotions from him.

Dean closed his eyes for a second, holding up a finger as if saying ‘wait a minute’. “A vessel?” His eyes opened again, his eyebrows wrinkling together as he tried to process the words.

“Yes. Jimmy was a very devout Christian. He’d prayed to God for years to be of assistance. To do the Lord’s work.” Castiel nodded, his blue eyes widening as if to get his point across. “I told you, Dean. I’m an Angel of the Lord. I meant every word of it.”

Dean scoffed in disbelief. “Really? Dude, Angels don’t exist. How many times do I have to say it?” He then held up a hand to cut Castiel’s protests off. “Y’know what, I don’t have time for some Angelic mumbo jumbo, okay? So don’t start with it.” Dean then turned away, signaling the end of their conversation.

A grimace settled on Castiel’s face as he stared at Dean’s retreating back, taking him in. “Fine.”

***

For the rest of the morning and afternoon, Dean and Castiel didn’t bother to speak to each other. Castiel had taken his items upstairs to the room he was staying in – making sure to hide the Angel blade from sight – and decided to just stay there for the rest of the morning.

Dean was sitting on the sectional couch with his leg propped up against the pillows he’d left from the previous night. _The Good, the Bad and the Ugly_ was playing on the television. It had been a while since Dean last saw the movie. So when he scrolled through the movies menu and noticed it was playing, he hurried up and changed the channel and automatically became engrossed in the film. To be honest, it was one of the many Clint Eastwood movies he failed to own. He was always too busy to go out and shop for new movies to watch whenever he was home and got bored.

During the climax of the movie, Castiel finally made his way into the living room and took a seat one spot away from Dean. He had figured it would have been best if he gave Dean space. When the television screen brightened, Castiel glanced over at Dean, noticing how the blue hue made his green eyes sparkle with the flecks of color from the light. He watched as Dean’s lashes came down to rest against his cheek when he blinked. He paid attention to the way the colored light would illuminate his face and eyes. He made sure not to stare too long, occasionally letting his gaze land back on the man next to him.

“This was one of my favorite movies when it came on TV. I used to force Sammy to watch it with me when it came on during the weekend.” Dean’s voice startled Castiel out of his thoughts.

Castiel figured that was his cue to actually be able to look at Dean without any repercussions. It was no secret to Castiel that Dean loved westerns or anything that had to do with cowboys. He remembered when he and Dean sat in his room and watched westerns for over three hours. “Where is Sam anyways?” He wasn’t sure why he was asking. Maybe he wanted to have the idle conversation to get to know Dean a little better. To get to know how this universe turned out differently than the one back home. But at least he was glad to know that this Dean had the same interests.

Dean side-eyed Castiel before fully turning his head to give his full attention. Though he soon regretted it when their eyes met. He was able to see how the glow from the television brightened his eyes even more. And Dean wasn’t even sure how that was possible. His lips parted slightly as he took in a slow breath through them. _Say something, idiot!_ Dean cleared his throat before shaking his head slightly to clear his thoughts.

“Sam is in California. He’s studying law. He should be back here for Thanksgiving, actually.”

“I thought that he would have been here. Are you two close?” Maybe Castiel was stepping over some sort of barrier, but he was curious.

Dean gave a one-shouldered shrug before tilting his head back against the couch. “Ah, Sammy, he’s uh, he’s been in California for a few years now. We’re close. He’s my brother. We’re always gonna be close.” He paused, letting his focus return to the movie. “I’m actually proud of him. He passed his classes with flying colors and got accepted into a good law program on a full scholarship.” His lips curved into a crooked smile. “I’m glad my hard work with him didn’t go to waste.”

Castiel’s eyes followed the curve of Dean’s neck when he dipped his head back. He focused on the way Dean’s Adam’s apple bobbed within his throat as he spoke. “Do you miss him?” He wanted to keep Dean talking. “Wait, I thought Sam had a scholarship for college.”

“He did, for like, the last two years of college and the law school was more than eager to offer him a full ride due to his grades. I worked to put him in school when he finally made up his mind to go to Stanford. Saved all I could to send him to university and so he could have the books he needed for class and everything else. I was finishing up my last semester of college and studying so I could uh, go into training for the fire department.” Dean gave another one shouldered shrug with an indifferent expression. 

The tip of Castiel’s tongue snaked out to wet his lips as he debated on asking his next question.

“What about you? Any family you’re close to?” Dean’s head lolled in Castiel’s direction though his eyes remained on the movie.

That was a very difficult question to answer. “My family and I aren’t very close. I’ve done things that I am not proud of and it’s caused a strain between us.” That was the best way he could put it without the mentioning of Angels or his Father. “I guess you can say I’m a bit of a disgrace to my family.”

Dean snorted, his gaze turning onto Castiel now. He could see the sorrow within the depths of his ocean blue eyes. “Whether they’re blood or not, family’s family, no matter what. They care about you and accept you and all your faults. Sure Sammy is a great pain in my ass but he’s my brother and I put up with him because that’s what family do. We stick together. I care about him a great deal and I always will.”

“Sometimes it feels like I don’t belong here… or at home. It always seems like I don’t have a place to go. Like I don’t belong in either place. And now that I’m here, that feeling has intensified.” Castiel’s shoulders slumped miserably.

Dean’s focus was completely on Castiel, his eyes showing concern. “You don’t have a place of your own or something? Or people that you care about that you can stay with?”

With a sigh, Castiel nodded slightly. “I do. But they’re a long ways away from here.”

Dean nodded, his eyebrows raising somewhat. “I’m sure you’re gonna find them again.” He cleared his throat as he shifted his gaze to the television then back to Castiel. “How’re you feelin’? You fell pretty hard last night.”

“Actually, I feel okay. My energy just hasn’t returned to me like I hoped that it would but I’m fine.” He admitted.

***

Once the movie was over, Dean hobbled his way into the kitchen and made grilled cheese sandwiches for him and Castiel. Whenever Dean wasn’t looking, Castiel would watch him as he ate. The same went for Dean. Every time Castiel looked away or would get lost in his thoughts, he would glance up at him through his lashes. It had to be the most awkward thing in Dean’s life. Stealing glances at a man he barely even knew. It was unethical. Not that he had a problem with men dating men but because he was engaged. He shouldn’t be staring at another person at all. 

After Dean finished eating his sandwich and putting Castiel’s in the microwave, he went into the laundry room so that he was able to put their clothes in the dryer. When he finished, he went back into the living room and decided to watch movies to pass the time before it was time to go to bed. Castiel, of course, joined him in his same spot. It was a mutual silence that they both shared while Dean watched old western movies and Castiel just endured it. He knew they made Dean happy so he wasn’t going to object to them. When Dean finally went to bed, Castiel stayed behind a little bit longer so that he could watch cartoons – something he started doing after Dean had introduced him to the animated shows.

Midnight came around and Castiel finally headed upstairs so that he could try to get in contact with his friend once again. He was anxious to get back home. As he sat up in bed for over an hour, he didn’t get anywhere. He couldn’t even break past the veil of whatever universe this was to cross over into another one. He did, however, manage to enter this Dean’s dream but he didn’t stay long enough to be noticed.


	2. Where's Your Faith?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shock clouded Dean’s face as he took a step back from Castiel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, I'm going to hopefully be able to post every thursday.

**August 24th, 2009**

An obnoxious beeping sound echoed in the back of Dean’s mind, causing him to drift into consciousness. He would have given anything to be able to sleep longer but he knew what today was. Rolling over, he reached for his cellphone and turned off the alarm he had set and then managed to get out of bed without his cane. If Charlie or Sam knew that he wasn’t using his cane, they’d probably go guano and Sam would be on the next flight back to Kansas just to babysit him.

Dean took his time walking to the closet. For some reason, his leg and chest were giving him trouble and he couldn’t wait to take the pain medication that was prescribed to him just so he wouldn’t have to feel so miserable. He skimmed through his clothes until he found what he was looking for – a pair of dark blue, relax fit jeans, and a plain black t-shirt with a navy blue button up to go over it.

After his clothes were picked out and splayed on the bed, Dean headed into the bathroom and turned on the hot water for a shower. He then undressed, being mindful of his leg and chest, and stepped into the hot spray. His body instantly relaxed as the water beat against his skin. He tried to keep his mind blank. He didn’t want a surprise boner in the shower. It was bad enough that Castiel was popping up in his dreams but he didn’t want to take the risk of him appearing in a fantasy. That would be crossing a line.

With his shower complete, Dean stood in front of the sink, brushed his teeth, and then took his pain medicine. Then it was finally time to get dressed so he could start his day with a cup of coffee. It didn’t take him long to get dressed and he was actually glad about it. The pain medication was starting to kick in, making his body feel lighter than it was, which made it easier for him to walk.

In the kitchen, Dean prepared a fresh pot of coffee and a small breakfast of a cheese and turkey omelet with bacon on the side. Even though his breakfast was made, he somehow had a craving for pancakes. Putting his cravings aside, he fixed his plate of food, poured a mug of coffee, and sat at the breakfast bar. While eating, he hummed _Enter Sandman_ by _Metallica_ to fill the silence. Typically, he ate with Carmen and they always had some sort of idle conversation so now the silence was driving him slightly insane.

There was a slight prickling sensation that traveled up Dean’s arm as he ate his food. When he looked to his right, he nearly jumped off of his seat, a gasp of shock leaving his lips. Castiel had come to sit next to him and he hadn’t even realized it.

“I’m seriously going to get you a bell.” Dean grumbled as he centered himself on his seat.

Castiel’s gaze shifted off towards the side before looking down. “I’m sorry, Dean. I figured I would come and keep you company.”

Dean then gave him an onceover. He was wearing his suit again. “What’s with the suit?” The FBI badge automatically came to mind.

Castiel ran a hand over his tie, smoothing out the wrinkles. “I put back on my clothes.”

“I can tell.” Dean muttered before getting up from his seat and took his dishes to the sink so that he was able to wash them.

When he turned around after he was finished, Castiel was standing near the wall of photos again. Dean began to wonder what exactly was he looking for whenever he caught him staring at the photos. They were mainly of his family, job, and of him and his fiancée. They weren’t really exciting pictures to look at in his opinion.

Dean walked up behind him, keeping a sizeable distance between them. He didn’t want to get too close. For some reason he didn’t trust himself and he wasn’t exactly sure why.

“Is this your fiancée?” Castiel asked while pointing to a brunette that was smiling in a picture he had taken when they had their first date.

“Mhm.” Dean hummed in response. “We’ve been together five years. Hopefully we can ride it out until the end.” He gave a slight shrug of his shoulders.

“She’s very beautiful.” Castiel said in an absentminded tone. He wanted to keep his voice level to keep the jealousy he was feeling out of his voice. He then turned so that he was able to face Dean’s direction, though he didn’t bother to look at him openly.

“Thank you.” Dean reached up and began to scratch at the back of his head. “All right, uh hey, look… I have a doctors appointment today at three o’clock.” Dean announced after a moment of silence. “Are you going to be all right here by yourself?”

“I'll go with you.” Castiel offered, mainly out of habit. His blue eyes showed pure sincerity, his pupils dilating the longer he held Dean’s gaze.

Dean stared back for a brief moment, his lips parting just slightly before averting his gaze. His brow arched in curiosity before giving a slight shrug, “If you want. A friend of mine is picking me up in a few hours so I need to be ready.”

“Hey Dean?” Castiel called out when Dean was about to get ready and turn around.

“Yeah?” Dean’s expression filled with skepticism, his brows rising halfway.

“Why are you going to the doctor?” Castiel questioned, his blue eyes scanning over Dean’s face.

Dean pouted out his lower lip while patting his injured leg. “I gotta get some x-rays done again. They want to see how it’s setting correctly. If not, I’m gonna need surgery.” He explained before looking back up to see Castiel’s drawn down eyebrows.

“Do you remember when I said that I could heal your leg when my grace restored itself?” He asked, his blue eyes focused, giving him a hopeful expression.

“Ah, yeah I remember.” Dean rolled his eyes as he let out an exasperated sigh, “Look, Cas, please don’t start with that Angel mumbo jumbo bullshit again, okay? I really don’t want to he--” Dean began then stopped when he felt a hand against the side of his face. He automatically closed his eyes as the dull ache in his leg and chest dissipated. When Castiel removed his hand, Dean gawked at him in a mixture of shock, fright, and bewilderment. “Wh-what the hell did you just do?” Dean asked as he stared down at his leg while running his hands against his chest.

“There.” Castiel said with a proud look in his eyes, “I healed your broken leg, fractured ribs, and the damage done to your liver.”

Shock clouded Dean’s face as he took a step back from Castiel, “What the hell are you?” he demanded.

Castiel let out an exasperated sigh, “I told you, I am an Angel of the Lord, Dean. Well, I was promoted to Seraph after being killed by an Archangel.”

“Wrong choice of words, pal. Angels don’t exist.” Dean frowned as he reached behind him but dropped his hand when he realized he left his gun upstairs.

“Do you have such little faith that you do not believe?” Castiel questioned while taking a step closer towards Dean.

“Sorry if I don’t believe in feathered assholes. I haven’t believed in Angels in a very long time.” Dean’s lips curved into a grimace.

“Maybe it’s time to have a little faith, Dean.” Castiel spoke while taking another small step towards Dean.

“I think I’ll pass. I’ve got faith in reality. I have faith in what I can see right here in front of me.” Dean began gesturing around himself with his hands to make his point. “Besides, Angels haven’t done anything for me so why should I believe in them?”

Castiel took in an unneeded breath then glanced over towards the side before placing his index and middle finger against Dean’s forehead. Dean tensed at the unsuspected movement but then his body went still as his mind was filled with an image of Castiel facing away from him, looking at a book. They were inside of a darkened barn with symbols he didn’t recognize. The sight alone was enough to give Dean a migraine, mainly because he was viewing the scene through someone else’s eyes – his eyes – from another universe. He looked down and saw an older man on the ground, which he automatically recognized, as Bobby.

_“Your friend’s alive.” Castiel said as he flipped through the pages of a book._

_“Who are you?” Dean asked while leaning over Bobby’s body._

_“Castiel.” He answered, his eyes focused on a book he continued to flip through._

_“Yeah, I figured that much. I mean, what are you?” Dean asked as his eyes concentrated on the being across from him._

_Castiel then looked up from his book and turned to face Dean, “I’m an Angel of the Lord.” He answered simply._

_Dean slowly rose from over Bobby, “Get the hell out of here. There’s no such thing.”_  


_Castiel placed his book onto the table then turned to face him fully, “This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.”_

_Just as Castiel spoke, lightning began to brighten the walls while the crack of thunder filled the small barn as a set of wings began to project along the wall behind him._

Then Dean's vision was filled with darkness. 

Dean gasped for air as he staggered back with his hand clutching against his chest. His heart was racing within his ribcage, causing his pulse to sound off in his ears. In that moment, Dean wasn’t even sure what was a more traumatizing experience, meeting an actual Angel and having them force a vision into his head or that one time he actually flew to California with Carmen to visit Sam. He took in slow breaths to keep himself from hyperventilating. It wasn’t until he opened his eyes that he realized he was being ushered towards the couch. He didn’t even remember moving his legs.

Castiel then sat Dean on the plush sectional then took a seat next to him. He wasn’t exactly sure what to do with a man who was in shock. His encounter with the hunter Dean was somewhat similar but at least there was no stabbing involved this time. He wasn’t sure if his body would be able to take it. When Dean’s breathing started to even out, Castiel placed his hand upon Dean’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. It was a gesture he knew was comforting to his friend back home, but this one was probably much different.

Dean took one last breath then turned his head so that he was facing Castiel but he couldn’t look him in the eyes. He wasn’t ready for that yet.

“Do you believe in me now?” Castiel asked after giving Dean a moment to settle.

“Was that … me? Was that me you were talking to?” Dean’s voice trembled as he spoke.

“Yes but that was the Dean I know back home where I’m from.” Castiel dropped his hand from Dean’s shoulder and returned it to his lap.

“So you weren’t lying the other night. About the, uh, the whole Angel thing. The, uh, alternate universe crap.” Dean muttered then began to chuckle, “I guess you weren’t on brown acid either.”

Castiel tilted his head towards the side, a gesture Dean was starting to realize was something he must have done a lot.

It could have been minutes or even hours but Dean was slowly coming to terms with the fact that he had an Angel in his house. This said Angel knew another version of him and his brother, and probably everyone else Dean knew. Liquor. He needed alcohol.

Without a word, Dean rushed off into the kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator door and pulled out a beer. He twisted it off with ease then began to gulp down its contents, ignoring the acidic burn he felt in his throat. When that one was finished, he pulled out another, twisted off the cap, and gulped it down as well. Dean then realized that beer wouldn’t be enough to grip what was now his reality and reached in the lower cabinet and pulled out a bottle of _Johnnie Walker Blue Label_ then a double shot glass.

It wasn’t everyday that a person was able to come face to face with an Angel.

After five double shots and one last beer to chase everything down, Dean leaned against the counter and rested his forehead within the bend of his arm. As he stood there in silence, his body tensed at the hand that rested against his shoulder, though there were no words exchanged. He wasn’t even sure how long they stayed like that until he heard the jiggle of keys in the front door.

“What’s up, bitches?!” A female voice echoed within the room.

A soft groan escaped Dean as he tried to bury his face deeper within the crook of his arm.

Castiel turned towards the woman, giving a slight tilt of his head and a squint of his eyes as he registered the redhead entering the kitchen. “Charlie?” Castiel questioned as he dropped his hand from Dean’s shoulder.

Charlie halted her steps when she spotted Castiel and Dean standing close together in the kitchen. Her expression went from friendly to guarded and confused in just a matter of seconds. When Dean heard Castiel call out Charlie’s name, he swiftly rose to his feet and spun around – nearly bumping into Castiel – to face the young woman.

“Charlie! I forgot you were coming.” Dean blinked away the bleary vision as he gripped the counter to keep from staggering.

“You shouldn’t have. You have an appointment in forty minutes. How did you forget?” She asked then turned her attention towards Castiel, “Who’s he?”

Dean’s eyes narrowed for a moment before he let out a nervous chuckle, “About that…” He sighed, wondering how he was going to explain this wackadoo of a situation. “He’s uh, a friend of mine that I met a some years ago on that college road trip I told you about.”

“Hello, Charlie. I am Castiel.” He greeted then extended his hand out to her.

“Nice to meet you.” Charlie took his hand and gave a dainty shake before looking between the two, “Is he drunk?”

Castiel’s expression became perplexed as he turned to stare at Dean once again.

“You’ve been sober for four years, Dean, what the hell happened? You know you’re not supposed to be drinking. Sam will kill you if he finds out.” Charlie’s face filled with apprehension as she walked over towards him and took away the bottle of whiskey, placed the cap on, then put it back in the liquor cabinet.

Dean gestured over towards Castiel, “He …” What was he going to say? That the man next to him was an Angel? That he healed his damaged liver? That’d get him put in the crazy house. “No, Charlie, I’m not drunk,” He lied, “I’m just trying to grip my head around some information.” He mumbled as he walked past her to sit in the living room.

Charlie monitored him with suspicion before following him into the living room to sit next to him, “You’re not using your cane.” Her eyes narrowed, causing her nose to wrinkle, “What happened to your leg? You’re walking better.”

“That’s the thing, Charlie, my leg is healed.” He said in disbelief, “Cas healed my leg.”

Charlie looked over at Castiel then back towards Dean, “What do you mean he healed your leg? The doctor said your leg was broken in three different places, Dean. You just got out of your cast and are supposed to be wearing a leg brace while walking around with your cane. Do I need to call Sam?” He could hear the alarm in her voice.

“God, no, Charlie. You don’t need to call Sam, okay? I know I’m supposed to walk around with the cane and brace on and I did that. I did all of that. But he healed my leg … today actually. My ribs also and my liver damage.” Dean’s brows rose as he spoke. His words even sounded foolish to him but he knew it was the truth.

“Okay, what is he, some kind of faith healer? Like that one your dad took you and Sam to when you were twelve and he turned out to be some sort of con-artist?” Charlie’s eyes narrowed as she stared at Dean. He could feel the sarcasm and disbelief in her words.

“No, Charlie. I mean… he’s an ... Angel. The big capital A.” Dean muttered.

“I beg your pardon?” Charlie questioned as she stared at Dean as if he’d gone psychotic.

“Y’know… a feathery dick with wings… harp, the halo, sitting on clouds and shit like that.” He spoke up a little louder so that they both were able to hear.

“Dean, I don’t have a harp.” Castiel chimed in.

Dean snorted in response, “The thing is, Charlie, I’m okay. Actually I’m better than okay. I just can’t wrap my head around all this.”

A look of disapproval flashed across Charlie’s face. “You know what Dean, let’s just go to the doctor so we can get some x-rays. Your appointment is in twenty minutes.” Charlie said incredulously as she tried to reason.

Dean just nodded then stood up to grab a flannel jacket that was already hanging up and slip on his boots. He figured there was no point in arguing so he would just go along with it. Maybe there was a second opinion to be viewed. Castiel rushed after Dean then slipped on his shoes. Castiel then picked up his trench coat from off of the back of the loveseat he’d placed it on and slipped his arms through it.

After he had the jacket on, he waited until Dean was outside before following closely behind Dean. Charlie wasn’t too far behind the two so she locked up the house then headed towards her car, a red and black 2009 Nissan Maxima, and unlocked the doors. Dean was actually happy to see that Charlie finally switched her car from the God awful yellow Beetle she used to drive. Each of them got inside then put on their seatbelts. Once they were settled, Charlie started the engine and put it in drive then pulled off onto the street.

It didn’t take long to reach the doctors office considering there was not a lot of traffic. After Charlie found a parking spot, she was the first out of the car and began to hover over Dean to make sure he wouldn’t fall at any given moment. Dean sighed as he tried to take a step away from Charlie, only to bump into Castiel. _Fan-fucking-tastic._ Dean thought to himself as he walked between the two at his sides.

When they entered the building, the trio sat within the waiting room after Charlie helped Dean sign in. While he was waiting, Dean flipped through a _Classic Motorsports_ magazine that he found after rifling through all of the chick magazines. Charlie took to reading _The Hobbit_ while Castiel read a magazine about pregnancies. Dean was halfway through an article when his name was finally called. Charlie bounced from her seat, stuffing her book back inside of her bag then stood next to Dean once he was on his feet. Castiel stood up last and followed them into the small examination room then took a seat next to Charlie while Dean sat on the examination bed. They waited for fifteen minutes in silence before the doctor walked into the room with her clipboard.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Harrison.” She introduced herself, mainly to Castiel as she took her seat at the desk.

“Hello.” The three greeted her back at different intervals.

“So Dean, how’s your leg doing? Any pain this morning?” She questioned after signing into the computer.

“I had some earlier this morning.” He answered honestly.

Dr. Harrison hummed softly at his answer while typing on her computer, “Did you take any pain medication this morning?”

Dean nodded his head, “Yeah I did this morning after I woke up.”

“Okay.” She said softly, “I’d like to have an x-ray of your leg and chest. You two are welcomed to sit here while I take Dean to the x-ray room.”

Charlie and Castiel both nodded in unison. Dean got off of the bed and began to follow after Dr. Harrison. She then ushered him to a wheelchair in which he groaned in protest but did get in and she wheeled him to the other room. Once they were in the room, Dr. Harrison assisted Dean onto the x-ray table then placed a lead apron over Dean’s chest then a lead cover for his crotch. The last thing Dr. Harrison did was help Dean take off his boots. Once Dean was all strapped in, she went ahead and began setting up the x-ray for his leg then went into the capture room to take the images.

When she finished with that, she set Dean up for the capturing of his ribs as well to make sure they were healing properly. After all of his x-rays and basic tests were finished, she wheeled Dean back into the room with Charlie and Castiel then assisted him onto the operating bed once again.

“I’m going to go print out the images to make sure everything is in order. I’ll be right back.” She assured them before she walked out of the room.

After the doctor was out of the room, Charlie focused her attention on Dean, a frown creeping onto her lips.

“How are you feeling? Be honest with me, Dean. I know when you’re lying.” She demanded after placing her book in her lap.

Dean sighed as he rubbed a hand against his stubbled cheek, “I’m being honest Charlie, I’m fine. I promise.”

Charlie gave a sigh of her own then continued to read her book. Dean glanced over at Castiel and was surprised that he found a pair of blue orbs focused on him. There was a chill that trickled up Dean’s spine as their eyes stayed transfixed for a moment longer. Dean then turned his head, breaking the hypnotic gaze and stared down at his feet as if they had the answers to everything.

_I pray to the Angel Castiel. Cas? Hey, Cas, can you hear me? You got your ears on? We need you here man, where are you? Can you come in tonight? Sam and I could really use your help down here. C’mon, Cas, come ho- we need you._

Castiel’s fingers flew up to his temples as he received the prayer from his Dean. His eyes squinted in concentration as he rubbed his fingers against his temples in a circular motion.

“Cas? Hey, Cas, you okay?” Dean asked as he hopped from the bed and swiftly made his way over to the Angel and leaned over him like a worried parent.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just received a prayer from … Dean.” Castiel cleared his throat, “From my universe.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed slightly while Charlie slammed her book down against her lap and stared at the two men next to her.

“Oh come on, Dean. You seriously can’t believe he’s an Angel ‘from another universe’.” Charlie shrieked quietly as she leaned forward in her seat.

“Charlie, he healed my leg and fractured ribs. What other creature can do that?” Dean shrugged his shoulders as he spoke. “Doesn’t that prove anything?”

Charlie frowned as she turned to look at the Angel next to her then sighed, her eyes rolling in the process.

Castiel lowered his hands and began to fret his fingers together, unsure of how he would be able to get a message back to his universe Dean. Perhaps he could try dream walking once again and hoped that he entered the right one this time. Just as Dean went to have a seat on the bed again, Dr. Harrison walked into the room with a black film Dean automatically knew was his x-rays. She then slid the film into the screen and turned on the light so that she was able to look at the results.

Her lips pursed as she began to rub her chin in bemusement. Dr. Harrison then turned to face Dean once more to see if he was looking at the sheets just as she was. Her gaze then lowered to his leg then back to face the x-rays.

“I don’t understand,” She began while pointing to the space where Dean’s leg should have been broken, “I don’t see a single fracture, or break. I didn’t even see a ligament tear when I checked the results for that.” Her eyes narrowed as she walked over towards Dean and gestured for his leg. Dean obliged and lifted his leg, only for Dr. Harrison to squeeze around his calf and knee area. “Does this hurt any?” She asked while applying more pressure.

“No, just a little tender.” Dean answered, even if it was only half true.

“I honestly don’t understand how your leg healed so fast. You’ve only recently gotten out of your cast and into the brace.” Her brows scrunched together as she began squeezing around his ankle to check for any reaction out of the large man.

“It’s a miracle I guess.” Dean sarcastically muttered before averting his gaze over to Charlie.

Charlie’s arms were crossed with a disapproving scowl on her face. Dean wasn’t sure how he was going to handle the _little sister he never wanted_ but he figured pizza and a nerd movie would be enough to settle her nerves, if only for a short while. He also hoped she wouldn’t mention any of this to Sam. He'd bribe her if he had to. His brother was already going through enough. He didn’t need Sam worrying about him also.

“Now, let’s look at your ribs.” Dr. Harrison then turned off the light from the screen then switched out the film sheets. Within an instant, the light was back on and a soft hum was emitting from the doctor.

“Something the matter?” Charlie piped in this time. Her expression was a mixture of hopeful and pure skepticism.

“You know, I’m having a real hard time figuring out what happened. When he was here before, there were a few cracked ribs with some bruising. We had the tender areas and some swelling. You don’t feel any of that now, do you?” Dr. Harrison then turned her attention on Dean.

“Uhm, not like before. Only when I do deep breaths.” Dean lied. He was in no position to explain that he was miraculously healed by an Angel and that said Angel was sitting on the other side of the room..

“Mmm…” Dr. Harrison tapped her pen against her ruby red lips then reached to lift the earpieces of her stethoscope to her ears. “Mind if I have a listen?”

Dean swallowed but nodded his head in consent and lifted his shirt so that she would get a better read. Dr. Harrison placed the cold resonator against his chest and told him to breathe. He then did as he was told while she slid the resonator against his chest then against his back to listen to his lungs. Once she was finished, he dropped his shirt and waited for her prognosis.

“Sounds good.” She pronounced while writing down something on her clipboard, “The last thing I’d like is a blood sample so we can check your liver. But other than that, I don’t see anything wrong with your leg or chest. If you’re feeling up to it, I can go ahead and send a letter to your insurance and to the department about having you return to work. It might take a little while so be prepared for that.”

Dean nodded, “Yeah, I can do that. Thanks, Doc.”

“The nurse will be here in a few to take a blood sample then you’re free to leave.” Dr. Harrison smiled before turning off the light to the screen then took the results with her.

With a huff, Charlie stood up from her seat, “I’m going to go talk to the receptionist. You just stay here so they can take your blood.”

Once Charlie was out of the room, Dean sighed while rubbing his hands over his stubbled chin. He was in no way prepared for this sort of thing. On the bright side, he was now able to return to work. That was what he had wanted all along. Words couldn’t possibly be expressed to Castiel about how grateful he was that he was able to heal him. Being at home by himself was starting to make him feel stir crazy.

Castiel sat quietly in his seat as he watched the taller man on the bed. He was about to speak when a light brown haired woman in scrubs entered the room with a cart of needles and other equipment she needed to draw blood.

“Man I hate shots.” Dean murmured as the nurse wheeled the cart over towards him.

“Hold out your arm and make a fist, please.” She instructed and Dean complied. She then rolled up his sleeve, tied a band around his bicep and began pressing around to feel for his vein. Dean began opening and closing his hand as if to make the blood pump faster so that he was able to speed this process along.

Once she found the vein, she inserted the needle and began to draw blood from his arm. It took five tubes for her to fill before she was actually finished but once she was done, Dean felt relieved that he could finally go home. Before the nurse left the room, she turned to face Castiel then focused her attention on Dean.

“We’ll call within a week with the results. Have a good day.” She assured him before closing the door.

As soon as the door was closed, Dean jumped off of the bed and fixed his clothes. He was beyond ready to leave the doctors office and just go home. Maybe even take up his mind’s idea to appease Charlie with pizza and possibly a _Lord of the Rings_ trilogy.

“Let’s get the hell out of here. I’m starting to feel like a God damn marvel of modern science.” Dean grumbled while walking over to the door so he could leave.

Castiel jumped up to his feet and followed behind Dean, similar to that of a lost puppy as he walked down the hall to find Charlie. Dean then opened the double doors that lead them to the entrance where they found Charlie and from the looks of it, flirting with the receptionist. The redhead had a smile on her face that was well received from the brunette who had a pinkish glow to her cheeks as she let out a small giggle.

An expression of pride flashed across Dean’s features as he watched Charlie work her magic. Then again he wasn’t sure if he just liked the idea of two women hooking up in front of him. He figured it was best to give her a little time alone with the brunette just in case she was able to get lucky. Dean then walked out of the entrance door with Castiel hot on his trail.

“How about once we get back to the house, we go out for burgers? I could use some good ol’ fashioned carbs right about now.” Dean decided while clasping his hands together before patting his stomach.

“You’re hungry?” Castiel questioned, his blue eyes fixated on Dean.

“Yeah, I could eat.” He nodded, “We ditch Charlie, take Baby out, and go get some food.”

“What’s this about ditching me?” Charlie chirped from behind Dean, which caused him to flinch at the sound of her voice.

“Who said anything about ditching you? We wouldn’t ditch you. I’m just hungry.” Dean rambled then cleared his throat as he watched Charlie place her hand on her hip, not buying his words.

“You're so full of shit." She rolled her eyes, her hip jutting out as she shifted her stance, "Well lucky for you, I have a date this evening with the hot receptionist so I’ll drop you two off.” Charlie announced as she walked to the driver’s side of her car, “So it looks like you can’t ditch me, you jerk.” She then stuck the tip of her tongue out at him before getting in.

“You have a date with Gilda?” Dean smirked, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively before giving a light chuckle. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” His grin began to widen.

Castiel was the next person to get into the car then Dean followed suit and they both put on their seatbelts. They all settled within the car as Charlie pulled off onto the road. While on their way back to Dean’s house, they made a detour stop at a gas station in which Dean bought beef jerky and an apple pie.

It didn’t take long for Charlie to fill her car or for Dean to get his junk food and in no time they were back on the road to head back to his house. Charlie pulled into the driveway behind the Impala and parked the car. Dean was the first person out of the car; Castiel was right on his trail.

“Later, Charlie. Have fun on your date!” Dean called out once he made it to the front door.

“Plan on it! Peace out, bitches!” Charlie held her hand up in the Vulcan salute before backing out of the driveway.

Dean patted his pockets then let out a groan of happiness when he felt his keys in his pocket. They both entered the house with Dean turning on the lights to the living room and then made his way into the kitchen. When in the kitchen, Dean placed the pie in the refrigerator and placed the meat onto the counter.

“While we’re out getting food, why don’t we get you some clothes so you can switch up the gear, huh? You can’t wear that forever.” Dean spoke while turning his head to face the Angel.

“I’m comfortably fine wearing the same clothes I arrived in, Dean.” Castiel retorted, taking his usual seat at the breakfast bar.

“That ain’t happening.” Dean snorted while pulling a small piece of jerky out of the packet then popped it into his mouth.

“But I like my clothes. They belong to my vessel.” Castiel muttered in an offended tone.

Dean snorted as he looked at Castiel through his lashes, “You can’t wear the same suit everyday, Cas. You look like a holy tax accountant. C’mon man, level with me, okay? You’re going to need more clothes if you wanna blend in with people around here.”

A heavy sigh passed Castiel’s lips as he threw his hands up in defeat, “Fine. We’ll go get some clothes.” He rolled his eyes, making his displeasure obvious.

Dean slapped his palms against the counter with a smirk on his lips, “Good! Let’s go, Constantine.” Dean patted Castiel on his shoulder as he walked past him and into the living room.

With another puff of breath, Castiel rose from his seat and followed behind Dean as they made their way out towards the Impala. They both slid into their seats in unison and Dean started the engine then pulled the car out of the driveway. Music slowly began to fill the silence as Dean turned the radio up. On the way to the shopping center, Castiel kept his focus on the scenery outside while Dean sang along to _Night Moves_ by _Bob Seger_.

Despite himself, a small smile spread across Castiel’s lips as he listened to the man next to him sing along word for word to the song blaring in the car. Watching the Dean that was with him now caused a pang of sadness to wash over him. It reminded him of whenever he, Dean, and Sam were in the car together. Though the smile on his lips remained, his eyes showed the sorrow that he felt in his heart.

“You should smile more often.” Dean’s words startled Castiel out of his thoughts. “It looks good on you. Though maybe you shouldn’t look so sad while doing it.” He added while keeping his attention on the road.

“Sorry.” Castiel mumbled meekly.

“Talk to me. What’s on your mind?” Dean reached to turn down the music so that he could give his attention to Castiel.

“I was just experiencing a fond memory.” Castiel spoke softly as he looked down at his hands.

“Is it a memory that just so happens to contain a handsome devil who looks just like me?” Dean’s head tilted towards the Angel as he waited for a reply.

The Angel nodded his head before turning to look at Dean then back out of the window, “It’s just strange seeing you do the same things that the Dean that I know does.”

Dean pressed his lips together as his brows drew together, “Y’know, I get it. I mean, I can’t relate but I get it. Were you two like … y’know?” Dean gestured with his hand for emphasis.

Castiel’s eyes widened as his head whipped around to stare at the man beside him like he'd grown two heads. The question was certainly something he wasn’t expecting. He then turned and lowered his head so that he was able to watch his fingers twiddle together. If he were being honest with himself, he sometimes did wish that something had happened between him and Dean. A moment that came to mind was the time when they were in the barn and he confessed his love to Dean. Though nothing happened. Deep down he knew nothing would happen due to Dean’s possible fear.

Dean glanced over at the Angel next to him and pressed his lips together to keep from frowning. He could see the pain in his bright blue eyes. Did this Angel love the Dean from his universe? The dimmed sorrow within the Angel’s eyes was enough for Dean to conclude that he indeed loved the other man, perhaps even romantically. So instead of lingering on the subject, Dean decided to keep his attention on the road and kept the music at a low volume. He didn’t want to make the Angel anymore uncomfortable than he already was.

“Angels and humans aren’t allowed to have any sort of romantic relationship.” Castiel’s voice startled Dean considering he wasn’t prepared to hear him speak.

“So you’re not allowed to do a little cloud seeding?” Dean’s brow arched with interest.

Castiel let out a strangled cough, his eyes narrowing once he was settled, “No, we are Warriors of God, Dean. I am a soldier. We serve Heaven. We fight for the protection of Heaven, humans and for the Lord. We are programmed to follow orders. We are not programmed for such human emotions.” Castiel swallowed. He so desperately wanted to believe his own words but knew deep down that he couldn’t. He’d chosen Team Free Will and would do so repeatedly if it meant having a place at Dean’s side.

Dean hummed softly while giving a small nod, “A badass Warrior Angel, huh? What, so you’re programmed to not feel emotions? Like a RoboCop?”

“Emotions are a human thing. I am an Angel. Emotions are the reason why we’re not allowed to be on Earth. We are to watch over the humans but aren’t supposed to interact.” Castiel defended himself.

“You’re here now. I get the feeling that you chose humanity over whatever Angel programming you had because you’re down here and not in Heaven. I gotta say, rebelling against Heaven must have been a big step for you.” Dean chuckled nervously.

Castiel just nodded, letting the conversation drop. This was always a sensitive topic for Castiel and it still hit a sore spot in his core whenever this sort of topic was brought up.

The rest of the drive to the mall was silent. Dean didn’t want to make Castiel feel any more awkward and Castiel sulked over his emotions. When the building came into view, Dean pulled into a close parking spot then killed the engine. He wasn’t sure what to say to ease the other’s mind. So instead, he got out of the car and shut his door. Castiel trailed behind but made sure to keep a safe distance between them.

They walked through the doors and Dean immediately headed for the Levi’s store. This would be a perfect opportunity for Dean to go shopping for himself while Castiel picked out some of his own clothes. Dean instantly began to look at the jackets as well as a few plaid shirts in different colors and some jeans. He was able to find his size in different plain t-shirts as well as graphic tees and added them to the pile he carried.

Castiel’s fingers brushed over the fabrics as he looked at each item. He didn’t see a point in owning more than one article of clothing but Dean was set on him having more than one outfit. He was perfectly fine with his suit and trench coat but perhaps he wouldn’t fit in here with them. He silently continued to watch Dean shop for his clothing then tried to emulate the process. He browsed through the clothes until he actually started to find some that caught his attention. Though he didn’t pick out many plaid shirts, he did pick out a few button ups that were solid colors along with blue and green plaid shirts. After gathering enough clothes, he slowly walked back over to where Dean was in hopes that they could pay for everything then leave.

“Gonna try those on?” Dean asked when he saw Castiel’s armful of clothes.

“Is that really necessary?” Castiel countered while looking steadily into Dean’s eyes.

“Gotta make sure they fit.” Dean nodded his head in the direction of the dressing room, averting his gaze.

“Okay, fine.” Castiel grumbled begrudgingly. His eyes narrowed as a frown appeared on his lips.

A triumphant smirk flashed across Dean’s lips as they made their way over to the dressing room after asking a store attendant to open one of the rooms. Castiel went in first so that he was able to try on his clothes. Luckily for him, he was able to pick out his size as well as guestimate due to wearing Dean’s clothes. The first outfit he tried on was very comfortable. The blue shirt complimented his eyes in a way that he wasn’t even used to. Feeling brave, he stepped out of the dressing room stall but was careful enough to not let the door shut completely.

Dean turned away from his reflection when he heard the door opening. “Don’t you look cute for a Warrior Angel.” He teased while looking at the outfit.

“Bite me, Dean.” Castiel snapped while turning to go back into the dressing room.

“I just might.” He muttered before his brain could catch up with his mouth. His lips curved into a frown as he then went to have a seat on the bench that was closest to the dressing room.

Castiel’s cheeks flushed at the unexpected remark as he closed the door behind him. He ventured in trying on other outfits then repeated the process of showing Dean his combinations. Each time the green-eyed male always had something to say. And each remark made Castiel even more flustered to step out and let Dean see the outfits he’d chosen. When finished, they both went up to the counter and placed their clothes down. They stood quietly while waiting for the cashier to ring up all of their items. She would occasionally glance up at the duo and give a small smile before returning to her task.

After leaving the Levi’s store, Dean took Castiel shopping for shoes, underwear, and more clothes, mostly lounging clothes to be exact. Even though Castiel insisted that he didn’t sleep, Dean persisted until he relented and bought sleepwear. The last store Dean went in sold mainly outerwear so Castiel felt that he didn’t need to go in. Castiel didn’t have to wait long for Dean to return and they headed back to the Impala.

***

The ride home was filled with awkward silence, mainly from Castiel, as he didn’t know what to make of the situation. To ease the tension, Dean put on a mixtape and began tapping his fingers to the drums in each song. As they continued to drive, Castiel noticed that they were headed towards a restaurant that had plenty of cars outside.

“I haven’t been here in a long time.” Dean said, breaking the now comfortable silence they had once he pulled into a parking spot. “I actually missed their food.”

Castiel nodded slowly, “Why’d you stop coming here?”

Dean’s lips puckered as he gave a slight shrug, “Honestly, I used to come here with Carmen.”

“Your fiancée?” Castiel turned to look at the man next to him.

Dean simply nodded, a despondent look flashing across his feature, then got out of the car, “Let’s go, Constantine.”

Castiel let out a slight breath before getting out of the car and followed Dean into the restaurant. He was surprised that it wasn’t the usual diner he, Dean, and Sam went to back in his own universe. It was an actual restaurant that required a sign in or even reservations. Dean walked up to the desk and requested a booth for two then followed the hostess to their seats. When there, Dean plopped down into his seat while Castiel cautiously slid into his.

“Dean, I thought we were going to get burgers?” Castiel rested his hands against the table after sliding off his trench coat.

“They sell burgers here. It’s a restaurant, Cas.” Dean made a face as if to say how obvious it was.

Castiel’s shoulders slumped slightly as he glanced down at his menu.

Dean sighed, his eyes taking in the Angel across from him, “Look, Cas, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come off as a jerk.” Dean’s eyes roamed Castiel’s face before focusing on the pools of blue abyss that was his eyes.

Castiel was quiet for a moment before flickering his eyes up to meet Dean’s steady gaze. Within a few minutes, a waitress with bright hazel eyes and chestnut hair that barely covered her cleavage approached their table.

“Good evening, gentlemen. My name is Marissa and I’ll be your waitress for this evening.” She smiled, turning her gaze towards Dean. “What can I get you boys to drink?”

Dean looked up at the woman for a split second before looking down at the menu, “I’ll have a beer.” He answered simply then looked at Castiel.

“I’ll have the same.” He responded after pretending to look down at the drinks.

“Two beers, coming up.” She scribbled their drinks down on her notepad before dashing off.

When they were alone again, Dean cleared his throat while flipping through the menu to find where the burgers were. It had been a long time since he’d been in the restaurant and it began to bring up memories of him and Carmen when they had their fourth date in the same section. It was a romantic memory that Dean cherished though the thought of her now began to make him feel miserable inside. They hadn’t spoken in about two months ever since she went to visit her mother in Nevada. Every call went to voicemail, every text went unanswered, and every Skype call went ignored.

Even though he understood that Carmen had to look after her sick mother, it still would have been nice to speak with her. It would even bring him joy to receive a missed call from her. But in the end he got nothing. Maybe the time apart was good for them and when they saw each other again, it would make the experience even more pleasurable when Carmen was to finally come home.

“Two beers.” Marissa announced as she sat the bottles down in front of them. “Ready to order or do you need more time?” She prepared her notepad just in case they were ready to order.

“Uh, yeah, I’ll have a double bacon cheese burger with extra bacon and extra onions. Well done.” Dean told the waitress while handing her the menu.  


“And for you?” She asked while taking Dean’s menu.

Castiel closed his menu then held it up for her to take, “I’ll have the same thing actually.”

“Two double bacon cheese burgers, coming up.” She smiled before going to place their order.

Dean’s brows drew together as perplexity crossed his features. Once the waitress was gone from their table, Dean lightly slapped Castiel on the arm, catching his attention.

“Dude, I thought you said you didn’t eat.” Dean frowned as he watched the Angel again.

“I don’t.” Castiel turned his attention to look at the décor of the restaurant, trying to avoid Dean’s eyes. “This is a really nice place. When you said to get burgers, I thought you meant going to some diner.”

“Yeah, well, y’know… I’ve been cooped up in the house for four months and I felt like I was gonna fly over the cuckoo’s nest if I didn’t get out soon.” Dean let out a soft chuckle.

Castiel’s lips spread into a smile, “I understood that reference.”

A soft laugh escaped Dean’s lips as he nodded his head, “Yeah? Watch a lot of movies?” Dean asked.

“Well, no. But Metatron made it so that I knew every book or movie that he’d consumed while he was on Earth.” Castiel licked over his bottom lip. “That was after he made the Angels fall.”

“A Transformer?” Dean’s brow arched as he tried to process Castiel’s words.

“The Scribe of God.” Castiel corrected as he shook his head in amusement.

“Oh. That makes sense.” Dean snorted before taking a sip of his beer. “I can’t say that I’ve missed this but a part of me did. It took me a long time to kick the sauce.” Dean paused, looking at the ring of the glass. “So, tell me about that other universe.”

“You really wanna know?” Castiel questioned. When Dean nodded and urged him to go on with a gesture of his hand, he licked over his bottom lip again. “Well, Sam and Dean are hunters. Professional hunters and they kill monsters. Ghouls, vampires, werewolves, and all those types of things that ‘go bump in the night’. I’m a hunter in training I guess you could say. But according to Dean, I kind of suck at it.”

Castiel paused his story when the waitress came with their food. She placed their plates in front of them before giving a smile – more in Dean’s direction – before leaving the table again. Dean was quick to pick up his burger and take a large bite, letting out a happy yet loud moan of pleasure. As he sat quietly, listening to Dean’s moans, the Angel’s heart thrummed against his ribcage like a pair of fluttering wings.

He’d heard Dean moan so many times before whenever he was eating but this was different somehow. This wasn’t his friend from home. This was someone he’d recently met that just so happened to be the same person yet different. His body was reacting to the little moans of pleasure Dean made whenever he took a bite and he didn’t know what to make of it.

“You can finish your story.” Dean spoke around a mouthful of his burger.

The Angel shifted in his seat, pressing his knees together as he glanced down at his burger. “That’s pretty much it. They’re considered heroes. Saved the world more times than I can count.” He paused, taking slow breaths and leaned back against his seat as he stared vacantly at his beer. “When I thought I was going to die … I, uh, I told Dean that, uhm, I loved him. I waited nine years before telling him and I knew nothing would come out of it. But I would do anything for him. Follow him on a suicide mission so that he wouldn’t have to die alone or just go on a hunt so that I can just be close to him.”

Castiel let out a slow breath, his head tilting a bit as he stared at his beer glass with a dejected expression. “We’ve been through so much together. I pulled him out of hell, we’ve been to purgatory, and I’ve died so many times because I thought I was doing the right thing and he’s still forgiven me. Even when I felt as if I didn’t deserve it, he was there to forgive me. Shunned by the other Angels because I chose him over Heaven… Hunted by my brothers and sisters but he was always there.”

Dean reached over and grabbed a napkin to wipe his hands then looked up at Castiel. He could tell by the tone of his voice that the Angel was speaking more from the heart rather than his brain. “I’m sorry, Cas. You must really love him then.” His lips thinned into a line. He was able to feel the jealousy practically churning in his stomach. He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth before gliding his tongue over it. “Being here must be tough then, huh? Because… y’know…” He gestured his hand over his face.

“It’s not your fault.” Castiel mumbled softly. “Not really. The bright side is I still got to meet you. You are a Winchester, after all.” The Angel gave a weak smile before glaring at Dean in a nonthreatening way when he reached to switch their plates, leaving him the empty one.

“What? You weren’t gonna eat it.” Dean snorted with a teasing smirk then began to eat Castiel’s burger. “After we leave here, let’s say we watch a movie before I head to bed? It’ll be good to get you out of that headspace you’re in.”

Castiel took a sip of his beer before carefully setting it back against the table, “You want me to stay the night again?”

“No shit, Sherlock.” Dean snorted while rolling his eyes. “I wouldn’t have bought you clothes if I didn’t want you to. I mean, I know this sort of thing doesn’t usually happen and by some freak chance it did but I wouldn’t want you out on the streets. You can stay with me until you figure out a way back home. Sounds good?”

A wave of relief flooded through Castiel as he nodded, “Yes, Dean. I appreciate it very much and I’ll find a way to pay you back. I promise.” Going against his better judgment, he cleared his throat. “So, uhm, where did you and Carmen meet and how long have you been engaged?” His curiosity was getting the best of him.

Dean waved his hand in a dismissive manner while shaking his head, “Nah, don’t worry about it, Cas. Even though I’m getting used to all this, I’m really thankful that you came. You healed my busted leg and once the insurance says I’m good, I can go back to work. I probably would have been released if my leg didn’t set properly. So I'm thankful for that, Cas.” Dean’s expression turned blank at the mention of Carmen’s name. “I met her five and a half years ago. I was training at the hospital she works at to get a paramedics license. She was in training to become a nurse. She was really beautiful and I knew that I had to have her. I asked her out, we hit it off really well and I thought she was the one for me so I asked her to marry me last year.”

They stayed in their seats for a half hour before they decided to pay for their food and leave. The ride home was peaceful. There was no longer an awkward silence nor were there any awkward questions since they both conversed over dinner. As Dean stared at the road, his eyes would occasionally drift over to look at Castiel. He noticed that the Angel seemed as if he were lost in thought.

Dean pulled the Impala into the garage once they made it back to the house. They got out of the car and unloaded their bags from the trunk then carried them into the house. They worked in a comfortable silence as they then carried the bags upstairs then sorted through their items so that everything would be placed in the right room. Dean carried his bags into his bedroom and sat them down on the closet floor then sorted out some clothes he planned on wearing for bed.

With the clothes all picked out, the only thing that was left to do was shower. Dean walked into the bathroom and switched on the light and turned on the shower and made sure the water pressure was just right. He undressed and stepped into the spray once the bathroom began to fill with steam. The water ran hot as it pulsated against his skin. This was by far his favorite setting, aside from the mist one he used whenever he was Carmen were together in the shower. He began to wash up, letting the water trickle over him as he tried to keep his mind completely blank. Again, he didn’t want a surprise boner, mainly because he wasn’t sure what image he was going to get this time. It was still bad enough that Castiel was starting to appear in his dreams. He didn’t want to have the surprise of the blue-eyed Angel in his fantasies. Though the thought of jerking off to the thought of an Angel with blue eyes was giving him mixed feelings of shame and excitement.

Even though the shower felt wonderful, his body still felt tense and his mind was still clouded with blue eyes and plush pink lips. Dean stared at his reflection through the fog-covered mirror and frowned at himself. This couldn’t be happening. Within his heart, he loved Carmen. He’d given up so many of his old habits for her to be the man she deserved. So why was this sort of raw attraction happening all of a sudden whenever they managed to actually catch each other’s eye? Why did his heart feel like it was going to flutter out of his chest whenever they were in close proximity? They barely even knew each other. It shouldn’t be happening at all.

“You son of a bitch.” He muttered at his reflection. “You can’t do this, okay? You’re not even attracted to men. So why are you doing this to me?” Dean ran his fingers through his wet hair, his eyes closing at the sensation before they dropped back onto the counter. “Look, I know we haven’t spoken to Carmen in over a month but that doesn’t give you the right to replace her. You seriously need to get your shit together.”

What was wrong with him? Nothing, right? But it felt like there was something going on. It was something he couldn’t quite explain nor figure out for that matter. With a disappointed shake of his head, Dean left the bathroom and got dressed in the clothes he was going to wear to bed. The last thing he had to do was pick out a movie for him and Castiel to watch then he could go to sleep and hopefully figure out this cluster-fuck of a mess he was putting himself in.

The scent of warm apple pie caused a fuzzy feeling to fill his stomach as he made his way downstairs. Castiel was standing in the kitchen with his back turned to Dean. His hair was still damp from a shower he must have taken. He had on some of his new sleepwear and the shirt hugged the curves of his body Dean hadn’t even noticed before. _Enough of that. Stop staring! You’re being creepy!_ He couldn’t help but reprimand himself mentally as he turned away swiftly and darted for the living room.

When Castiel entered the living room, he was able to hear the musical intro of whatever movie it was Dean had picked out. Castiel then sat the plate of recently heated apple pie and the pack of beef jerky in front of Dean. He cautiously took a seat next to Dean and folded his hands in his lap.

“ _Godzilla Vs. Mothra_.” Dean gestured towards the TV, “Have you ever seen it before?”

Castiel shook his head once as he settled back against the cushions. Of course he knew about it and Dean had spoken about it but they hadn't watched it yet. It was on the list of movies the hunter wanted to show Castiel.

“It’s a classic. My favorite Godzilla movie actually. Way better than the first one.” A smile spread across Dean’s face as he noticed the pie on the table. Even though it was a small gesture, it was enough to make Dean’s stomach flip.

With the press of the remote, the lights within the living room dimmed until they were no longer lit and the movie began to play. Dean hesitated before taking his pie and slowly began to eat, savoring each mouthful. It’d been a while since he had any sweets. He wanted to stay healthy for Carmen as well as for his job. But oh how he missed the sweet taste of pie. The sweet desert didn’t last through the first fifteen minutes but Dean made sure to make the beef jerky last the rest of the movie. He even offered Castiel a few pieces, in which he just took a small piece and nibbled on it out of politeness.

Every now and then, Castiel would catch Dean mouthing the words to the movie whenever a scene he knew by heart would come on. Dean was completely engrossed in the film so he didn't pay much attention to whenever Castiel's gaze would fall onto him. Watching Dean was like watching a child be captivated by dinosaurs or snot rockets that flew into outer space. These little quirks seemed to put a smile on Castiel’s face as he kept most of his attention on the movie. It was nice to see these old habits even if they weren’t from his hunter. Then again it occurred to him that the Dean next to him probably wanted to be friends. Possibly. Dean would be the only friend he had here but one friend was better than none.

***

After Dean headed off to bed, Castiel lingered in the living room so that he could try to focus his energy on dream walking again. He didn’t want a repeat of walking into the wrong dream again so he pulled his legs up so that he was sitting Indian style and rested his hands within his lap as he closed his eyes. He wanted to make sure that he was completely comfortable and relaxed so that he could focus on his task. This was a mission he needed to complete. He needed to see Dean. For a short while, it seemed as if Castiel wasn’t getting any progress other than a headache. There was nothing for him to do other than try again. It was something he was desperate to try.

It took immense concentration until Castiel was sitting on a soft mattress in the bunker. He noticed right away that he was in Dean’s room but it was dark and unoccupied. He rushed out of the bedroom and immediately began searching for Dean. He couldn’t have been far considering this was his dream. While searching through the bunker, he noticed that he was soon transported to an open area that he didn’t recognize. Castiel glanced around until he found a familiar figure leaning against the car he automatically recognized as the Impala. He was staring up at the sunset. The scene alone was serene and it made his heart clench. This was something he wouldn't mind doing with the hunter. As long as they were together, he honestly didn't care what they did.

Even though it was great to see his friend, this scene made his heart sink into the pit of his stomach. He would never get to see this Dean in person again. Castiel hesitated to go any further. What was he going to say? That he was stuck in another universe? He was staying with another Dean until he was able to make it back home? These were hard decisive points Castiel wanted to stress to his friend but he didn’t want him to believe that he abandoned him again. That was honestly the last thing Castiel wanted. He wanted Dean to know that he'd never abandon him and he honestly hoped that the hunter understood that.

Gathering all of his Angelic courage, he walked over towards his friend, placed his hand upon his shoulder, and took a deep breath. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean’s head whipped around from the hand that landed upon his shoulder. His eyes widened in surprise as he pushed himself off of his car and wrapped his arms around Castiel, giving him the tightest hug he could possibly muster.

“Cas!” Dean exclaimed as he held on to his friend a little longer than necessary. “Where the _hell_ have you been?” He gave him a solid pat on the back and took a step back from Castiel, giving him an onceover. “Man, it’s good to finally see you.”

The loss of contact made Castiel feel uneasy but this wasn’t something he was going to express out loud. “The last thing I remember was leaving you and Sam after coming back from a hunt in Lisbon, North Dakota. I received a stress call from … Angel radio and I went to go answer it. While I was traveling to Heaven’s portal, I got struck by lightning and woke up in some alternate universe.” As he listened to his words, he began to realize how foolish they sounded. “I met an alternate Dean and he was kind enough to let me stay with him until I can find a to get back.”

All while Castiel spoke, Dean’s expression changed multiple times before landing on completely puzzled. An alternate universe? Was that even possible? Then again, there were so many other universes that Dean had been to that he wasn’t even sure anymore. What really caught his attention was the fact that there was an alternate Dean that Castiel was now staying with. That thought alone set an uncomfortable feeling within Dean’s stomach.

“So let me get this straight… You’re in some alternate universe where there’s an alternate me? And he’s letting you stay with him?” Dean’s eyes narrowed slightly as his eyebrows drew together, causing the skin between them to wrinkle. A sense of uneasiness settled within his stomach at the thought of Castiel staying with anyone that wasn't him.

Castiel nodded. “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to talk to you like this but I’ll do my best to explain the situation before I run out of energy. Yes, I’m in an alternate universe. The alternate you, well, he’s very similar to you except there is no monsters. I learned that he’s a firefighter and that he’s getting married. Sam is in California, studying to be a lawyer, and Charlie is their best friend. In this universe I’m powered down and I don’t have all of my abilities anymore but I still am able to possess some.” Castiel closed his eyes for a moment before tilting his head back to take a small breath, “If you and Sam can figure out a way to bring me back I would be very thankful, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes shifted towards the side before landing on the ground. Slowly, his gaze shifted up to look into the pools of blue he’d grown accustomed to. “Of course, Cas, of course Sam and I will try to find a way to look for you. Cas, I’m ... I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I give you my word that we’ll look for you, Cas.” Dean’s expression switched to panic as Castiel’s form began to fade. In a last attempt to cling to Castiel one last time, he reached out for him, meeting Castiel’s fingers in return but he was gone before Dean could make contact.

“Cas!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Leave Comments! Feedback Makes Me Happy!


	3. Fire In The Sky

**August 31th, 2009**

During the weekend, Dean made a call so that he was able to get his windows replaced. He hadn’t noticed that his windows were cracked when Castiel first arrived. What caught his attention was an annoying whistling sound he would happen to hear whenever the wind would blow against his house and kept him up at night. Luckily the place he had called did last minute weekend installation. Also during the weekend, Dean and Castiel talked a little more so that they could get to know each other.

Castiel told Dean about a lot of the hunts he accompanied Sam and Dean on and how he even was surprised that the brothers were able to stop the apocalypse when he’d first come to Earth. He told Dean about how he worked with a demon in order to save Sam and how Dean even became a Knight of Hell. Castiel then told him the story about how he and Sam were frightened for Dean when he fought against Cain while still bearing the Mark. He explained that they were afraid that Dean would have reverted back to being a Knight of Hell due to the effects. Each story Castiel told, Dean just absorbed them like a sponge absorbing water. It was reassuring to know that Dean didn’t have the same skepticism he had when Castiel first arrived.

In turn, Dean told Castiel about his time in college and how he worked two jobs so that he was able to support himself and was able to send Sam money when he first started his classes. He told Castiel about his road trip and how he met one of his best friends. Dean even told him in detail how he broke his leg and how Carmen stayed with him for three months before leaving to take care of her mother. He also made a list of movies that he wanted Castiel to watch since he just knew about them but hadn’t actually seen them yet.

During the time that Dean spent walking around the house, Castiel managed to explore around to get a feel of everything. He figured Dean was happy that he was just able to walk freely without assistance from a cane or leg brace. After learning that Castiel truly was an Angel, Dean stopped making extra food but continued to make enough coffee for the both of them when he was up early enough. Being inside of the house had made him restless and he was itching to get back on the field. So to keep himself busy, Dean managed to clean the house, do laundry, oil his guns, and wash his car. It was like he couldn’t sit still unless there was a movie on television to keep him rooted in one spot.

When Monday finally came around, Dean noticed that he needed to go grocery shopping. There was nothing inside of the refrigerator or even in the cabinets to make a decent meal. Truthfully, he had a taste for something different but he didn’t feel like cooking anything. So the thought of going out to eat came to mind, as well as going grocery shopping because he needed snacks for when they watched movies. He also needed food if he was going to survive. Typically Carmen went shopping with him because she wanted to make sure he didn’t get anything she considered unhealthy.

Dean made a face of displeasure as he stared inside of the empty refrigerator as if more food would magically appear. When he saw that food actually wasn’t going to materialize, he closed the fridge, and turned, only to bump into Castiel. He was standing in such a close proximity that it made Dean take a few steps back. That was another thing he’d noticed. Castiel would either stand too close or follow him when he did his chores around the house. He wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about it. The part of him that he considered the logical side found it unsettling but the other part of him welcomed the closeness. Of course he wasn’t going to admit that out loud. It was something he pushed deep into the parts of his mind and shoved in a box to be forgotten.

“Cas, uh, there is a thing called personal space. I’m sure you know about it.” Dean managed to say after a moment of silence.

Castiel’s gaze shifted off to the side before he managed to take a step back of his own. “My apologies.”

“Yeah…” Dean mumbled before rubbing a hand over the side of his face. “I’m out of food so, uh, I’m gonna make a food run. Do you want anything?”

“I’ll go with you.” Castiel offered, his expression was borderline hopeful.

“Oh, right. Okay. If you want to.” Dean gave a nonchalant shrug as he cast his gaze on Castiel’s face. “I was also gonna go out for lunch. So if you wanna join me, sure.”

“I’ll grab my coat.” His lips turned up into a bright smile that Dean wasn’t quite used to seeing.

“You are so weird.” Dean muttered beneath his breath as he stepped around Castiel and headed for the living room to grab his jacket and slip on his boots.

Castiel trailed behind Dean in silence. After they put on their jackets and shoes, they headed out to the Impala and got in. Dean started up the ignition after putting on his seatbelt and backed out of the garage then turned onto the main road. The last thing he did was turn on the radio to his favorite rock station but he made sure to keep the volume low in case they were able to strike up a conversation. 

Luckily, it wasn’t that far of a drive into town and there wasn’t much traffic since it was still early but Dean was positive there would be some on their way back. Or even when they went out to lunch so he could eat. When they reached the store, Dean parked the car in one of the middle spots, killed the engine, and got out. Castiel wasn’t too far behind and was walking in perfect step along side Dean as they made their way into the store after grabbing a shopping cart.

As they walked through the doors together, Castiel watched as Dean pushed the cart to the back of the store where the junk food was located. 

“You do know it wouldn’t kill you to buy healthier food.” Castiel chimed in after he noticed Dean grab a family size bag of M&M’s and a box of Ding Dongs.

“What are you, my girlfriend?” Dean questioned in an accusatory tone as his eyebrow arched in suspicion.

“No, I just think it would be good for you if you ate more than just junk food and burgers. It wouldn’t kill you to pick up a vegetable.” Castiel countered with a deadpan expression, the skin between his eyebrows wrinkling as he scrunched up his nose.

Dean gave an exasperated sigh with a roll of his eyes. “I’ve been eating nothing but healthy food for four years. Let me splurge a little, okay? Besides, burgers have lettuce, tomatoes, and onions. I believe that counts as eating vegetables.”

Silently, Castiel scrutinized Dean as he added more junk food into their cart before leaving to get meat to stock the freezer with. The heavy guitar riff of Dean’s cellphone startled both Dean and Castiel when Dean was explaining which box of hamburger patties would be better for grilling. Dean took his cellphone from out of his pocket and answered it without looking at the caller ID.

“Yeah?” Dean let his gaze drift towards the floor after putting the box of hamburgers into the cart. His eyes widened, a wide smile spreading across his face the longer he stayed on the phone. “Yeah, I can come back this Thursday. No, no, I’m good… Yeah, 12-hour shifts are fine for starting back. … Mhm. All right, I’ll see you Thursday at 7am.” Dean ended the call and turned around to see that Castiel wasn’t where he was originally.

Dean scanned around the store until he spotted a tan trench coat. He darted over to where Castiel was and gave him a solid pat on his back. When Dean looked inside of the cart, he was surprised to see that Castiel filled it with actual food that he would actually be willing to eat. 

“Damn, Cas, I didn’t know you knew how to shop.” He mused while looking at the boxes and cans that were in the cart.

“I’ve had a lot of practice.” Castiel turned to see the puzzled look on Dean’s face as if asking him to elaborate. “Remember when I told you about how the Angels fell from Heaven? Well, I was the final ingredient. When Metatron stole my grace, it left me mortal. Since I was on my own, I had to fend for myself. Being homeless and human made me see humanity in a completely different light. I learned that there’s more to humanity than just survival. Although, I didn’t like urinating all that much.” 

The tip of Dean’s tongue snaked across his bottom lip, his eyes narrowing in anger while listening to Castiel speak. “Wait a minute…” He held up a finger, shushing Castiel. “You were homeless? I thought you were living with uh, …” Dean made a gesture that waved over his upper body and face, “Dean and Sam.”

The gleam in Castiel’s blue eyes diminished when Dean spoke. “Well, uhm, I wasn’t allowed to stay because Dean allowed an Angel to possess Sam so that he could get better from the Trials. The Angel was an abomination.” He sighed, taking a slow and steady breath. “Since the Angel was in hiding and didn’t want to draw attention to himself, I couldn’t stay. So I had to leave because I was hunted by my brothers and sisters for working with Metatron and that would have brought attention to the Angel. He used me and stole my grace to finish his spell to cast the Angels out. I thought he was trying to fix Heaven. I thought I was trying to fix Heaven.” His shoulders slumped, making it seem as if he were caving in on himself.

“Cas,” Dean placed his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze. “Hey, Cas, I’m sorry.” He began to rub his hand in soothing circles against the upper middle of Castiel’s back until he met Dean’s gaze. “I know what it’s like to be homeless. I also know how you felt and trust me, Cas. It’s the worst feeling in the world…” Dean bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to tell Castiel that he didn’t have to be homeless anymore. That he was welcomed to stay with him as long as he wanted or until he was able to go home. But he couldn’t bring himself to say those words. “Let’s go finish shopping.”

***

Once they’d finished shopping, paid for their items, and left the store, Dean drove them back to the house so that they were able to put up all of the food. Going to the store with Cas reminded him of the times he went with Carmen. He allowed Castiel to pick out what foods he thought would be good for Dean. He was even surprised that Castiel picked out items he actually liked. But he had to keep reminding himself that the Angel probably knew a lot about him from a different perspective. After the food was situated, Dean ran up the stairs two at a time to so that he could head to his bathroom and freshen up. With his face washed and his teeth brushed, Dean went back downstairs to find Castiel sitting perfectly still on the sectional couch. So, Dean walked over and plopped down onto the couch with a heavy sigh.

“I think we should go out and celebrate.” He declared while beaming over at Castiel.

The Angel tilted his head, his eyebrows drawing together, “For what?” 

“That’s what I was meaning to tell you in the store actually. In the store, I got a call from the department and they said I’m cleared to come back. I start Thursday. So I wanna go out and celebrate. Let’s go.” He gave a light pat against Castiel’s shoulder. His eyebrow arched in curiosity, “Why’re you looking at me like that?” He asked after noticing the upset look on the Angel’s face. “I swear you look disappointed.”

The Angel shook his head before forcing a smile. “That’s good, Dean. And I’m not disappointed, I promise. Let’s go celebrate. Where did you wanna go?”

Dean studied Castiel’s face before looking him in the eye. “It’s a some Italian restaurant that I’ve always wanted to try.”

“Sounds good to me.” Castiel nodded, stood up, and stretched out his arms as he waited for Dean to get up.

Once Dean was on his feet, both men walked outside to the Impala and got in. Dean filled the silence by singing along to the _Led Zeppelin II_ cassette. Occasionally, from the corner of his eye, Dean was able to see the small smile that would appear on Castiel’s face as he stared out of the window. Dean figured that the Angel was deep in his own thoughts since he didn’t bother to speak. Maybe Castiel was remembering his time with the alternate Dean. Then again, he may have just been naturally quiet. There were many things he was still learning about him since having Castiel stay with him. 

By the time they made it into Downtown Lawrence, Dean was able to see the street the restaurant was located on. It was a beautiful little strip that was filled with other restaurants and small shops that were lit up by lights that contrasted against the evening sky. As they drove down the strip, Dean was able to find a parking spot in front of an elegant European restaurant that was wedged between two other buildings. Once parked, Dean killed the engine and the car was filled in silence once again. 

They sat in the car for a short moment, not bothering to speak while staring at the people inside of the restaurant. It was classier than Dean had anticipated but they were there now and there was no room to back out of it. He’d heard about _715 Restaurant_ a few years back from one of his friends at the fire department and wanted to see if it was as good as Mark had talked it up to be. Taking one steadying breath, Dean got out of the car with Castiel following behind him. Dean opened the door and ushered Castiel inside before following him inside. The fresh scent of spices and pasta filled his nostrils immediately.

“Wow.” Dean mouthed when he saw the inside décor. “It’s different than I expected.”

Castiel turned to look at Dean, his head tilting slightly. “What do you mean? You’ve never been here?”

“Hm? Uh, no but I’ve heard about it and wanted to try it out.” Dean answered then stood up straighter when the hostess came to greet them.

“Table for two?” She questioned while grabbing two menus. 

“Uh, yeah, that’s fine.” Dean nodded and gave a light pat to Castiel’s shoulder to get him to follow when the hostess began to usher them to a secluded area in the back that was next to a window in the corner.

“Gentlemen, have a seat and your server will be right with you.” She said while placing the menus onto the table and then walked away.

When the hostess left their table, Dean removed his jacket and placed it on the bench beside him. He glanced over at Castiel and saw that he’d taken off his trench coat as well. He was also glad that Castiel decided to wear some of the clothes he had bought him rather than the suit. They both sat in awkward silence at their table while browsing through the entrée listings. Dean made a disappointed face when he noticed the liquor section only contained cocktails. _Son of a bitch…_ It was going to be a tough evening without a beer or even a glass of Scotch.

Dean ran a hand over his chin as he glared at the cocktails section. “They don’t have beer apparently.” Dean finally uttered, breaking their awkward silence. “The food options look great, though. They even make their own pizza.” 

Castiel stayed quiet for a moment, his focus mainly in the menu before looking up at Dean. “If I were human, I would probably enjoy some of these items.” He pointed at the menu then shifted his gaze to the man across from him. “Dean,” He swallowed when Dean met his gaze, “Congratulations. For, uhm, getting your call to go back to work.” Castiel licked over his bottom lip and glanced down to look at the menu to avert his gaze.

“Thanks, Cas.” Dean gave a slight tilt of his head though his focus remained on the Angel. “You gonna be all right by yourself when I’m gone?” Dean leaned forward on the table, folding his forearm over the other. His lips pursed, causing his dimples to show before settling for a lopsided smile to ease the tension he was sensing from Castiel. “They’re gonna be, uh, starting me off easy. So I get to work 12-hour shifts instead of the 48-hour rotation. But I’m pretty sure I’ll be put back on those soon.” He offered, trying to ease Castiel’s stress.

Castiel cleared his throat and kept his focus on Dean’s hands as they began to rub nervously over each other. “I think I can manage, Dean. I’ve survived worse.” His lips curved into a weak smile when he noticed the smile on Dean’s face. It was hard not to mirror it when he looked so happy. “I just didn’t want to have to worry about whether, uhm, you’d get hurt on the job again.” Castiel pressed his lips together when their server walked up to their table.

“I apologize for the wait. My name is Alma and I’ll be your server for this evening. Can I start you boys off with something to drink?” Her smile was sweet as she looked between the two, her notepad ready to take down their orders.

Dean glanced down at the menu again before giving a dashing smile to their server. “I’ll have the _Smokin’ Aces 15_ and I’d also like to have the _Heritage Pork Meatballs_ as an appetizer.”

“Sure thing!” Alma nodded, giving a polite smile before looking over at Castiel, “And for you? What will you have?”

Castiel pulled open his menu and stared at the cocktails before randomly picking one. “I’ll have the _O The Record 10_. Thank you.” He nodded to her before looking at the menu again to distract his thoughts.

“Okay, I’ll get your drinks ready and when I return I’ll take your orders.” She gave a light nod before sashaying off behind the bar.

The corner of Dean’s mouth twitched up into a grin as he stared over at Castiel and the way he continued to keep his focus on the menu list. “So you’re worried about me, huh? I didn’t know that. But hey, Cas, I’m a big boy. I’ve handled plenty of broken bones before.” He gave a soft chuckle as his head slanted a bit as he kept his gaze on Castiel. “Will it ease your mind if I promised to be careful? We can even get you a cellphone so you can message me when you want to talk or make sure I’m okay. How about that?”

Castiel let out a soft huff of air while Dean spoke. “I do know that.” His tone came out unintentionally sharp. “I’m aware of the Winchesters ability to recover from a strenuous battle. It has amazed me for so many years.” Castiel placed the menu onto the table, his eyes narrowing into a glare though there was no real heat behind it. “Maybe I can fill my time with learning the area while you’re gone… A cellphone? That wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

The smile slowly faded from Dean’s lips, “I didn’t mean to patronize you, okay? I’m just saying you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be safe and won’t do anything stupid.” Dean cleared his throat; his head lolling back a bit as he glanced up at the ceiling then back at Castiel. “Great, we can do that. We can look around here and maybe see if we can get you one after we eat.” The corner of his lips curved into his crooked smile again

“All right, boys, here are your drinks. Your appetizer will be ready soon. Are you both ready to order?” Alma continued to keep her polite smile as she looked between the two.

Dean’s focus went to the entrees and instantly landed on a steak dinner that appealed to him. “I’ll have the _Creekstone Farms Ribeye_. Well done. I wanna see how that is.”

“I assure you it’s one of our bestsellers. And for you, what can I get you?” She turned her attention to Castiel after writing down Dean’s order.

Castiel glanced back at the menu and figured he’d get the same as Dean since he knew he wouldn’t be eating. It would more than likely be something Dean would take when no one was looking. “The uhm… _Kansas City Strip_. I’ll, uh, have that… Well done also.” He hoped the smile that he gave the server was friendly. Inside he felt nervous. Part due to the fact that Dean would be going out to work and the other because of the way his body continued to react whenever he was close to Dean.

“Great! That’ll be coming right up as soon as it’s finished. Be back to check on you boys in a bit.” She wrote down Castiel’s order, took their menus when they handed them to her, and turned to put in their order. 

After the server was out of earshot, both men became silent once again. The awkwardness was thick enough to cut with a sharp blade. Castiel took in a deep breath and kept his attention on his hands as they folded on the table. Dean pressed his lips together, causing his cheeks to sink in just a bit. It seemed as if both men didn’t want to look at each other or even speak. This, however, was supposed to be a celebration but Dean got the feeling that Castiel didn’t like the idea of him going back to work.

When the appetizer tray was placed in front of them, Dean’s eyes lit up at the sight of food. It was something he could focus his energy on rather than the awkward tension he was feeling. He reached for a meatball and picked it up with his fingers then popped it into his mouth and began to chew. The flavorful juice exploded on his tongue, causing him to moan out in delight. Dean looked over at Castiel while reaching for another meatball then pointed to the platter before giving a thumb up with a small nod of approval and popped the next meatball into his mouth after swallowing the first.

Castiel swallowed at the sound of Dean’s happy moans each time he put one of the meatballs into his mouth. Risking a peak, he looked over at him, watching him stuff his mouth with another meatball. He then cleared his throat, getting Dean’s attention to focus on him rather than the food, “Dean, can you eat those any faster?” His eyebrow was arched. He knew Dean could eat but Castiel didn’t want him to choke.

Embarrassment flashed across Dean’s features as his mouth hung open, showing the chewed food, “Uhm, no? No, I can not.” He closed his mouth and began to chew slowly before swallowing his mouthful. “These are really good. I mean, I wasn’t sure about the food since I hadn’t been here before. Yeah, I wanted to but uh, we never had time to make it. Glad you’re here with me though. I appreciate you agreeing to tag along.”

“The food isn’t going to run away.” Castiel mused. “You were going to bring your fiancée here?” He trusted that the disappointment didn’t show on his face. Dean had meant to bring his significant other here instead of him. His shoulders slumped slightly at the thought as his gaze lowered to the condensation that began to slide down the cold glass. It was something he shouldn’t have felt sad about. He knew that Dean was engaged and yet he was sitting here mulling over the fact that Dean was supposed to bring someone else. “Of course, Dean. I’m happy to come along.” _He’s not Dean. He’s not the hunter that you’ve admired for nine years._

Dean cast his gaze downward, giving a nonchalant shrug at the question, “I mean, it was just,” He gave an exasperated sigh, “I’d heard of this place and wanted to bring Carmen here for our three year anniversary but she was always making some excuse as to why she couldn’t take a day off. So I let it go. It’s not a big deal.” He gave a soft yet sarcastic laugh that sounded more disappointed than he intended it to. His lips pressed together when he felt the urge to continue explaining to Castiel about the situation. 

Castiel’s lips formed a thin line, noticing the expression on the other’s face. Maybe Dean’s relationship wasn’t the way he’d imagined. He’d expected Dean and Carmen to be in love, happy and did everything together but this sounded as if she didn’t have time for him anymore. “Dean, I’m sorry. I’m glad you invited me here.” His blue orbs found golden flecks that danced within green eyes staring back at him.

Dean waved a dismissive hand, “There’s no need to apologize. It is what it is actually, y’know? Our first two years were awesome but we both got busy with work and I understood.” Dean gave a nonchalant shrug while looking off towards the side. “I’m sure it’ll get better when she comes back from Nevada.”

“You’re optimistic.” Castiel noted. That was something he wasn’t used to. He was so used to Dean being the opposite of the one sitting in front of him. “I know what it’s like to have such blind faith in a person. Though I was let down after finding out my father left us for millennia. But then I placed my faith in Dean… and Sam because I knew they would always be the ones to save the world.” Castiel sighed, his expression showing his blind trust.

“Well I have to be. She’s the first woman I’ve ever uh, said the big L to. And she’s the first girlfriend that I’ve ever stuck around long enough for it to ever get this serious and she’s the first girl to actually put up with my shit.” Dean let out a nervous chuckle while reaching over for another meatball, “Your father? You don’t believe in your father anymore? He’s God and you’re an Angel, how do you lose faith in him?” He then popped the meatball into his mouth and began to chew slowly so that he wouldn’t get reprimanded again.

Castiel’s lips pursed at the question, “Well, he left. But I still believe in him but I’m not as zealous as I used to be. He didn’t want to have anything to do with being in charge of Heaven or Earth anymore and left Heaven for the Angels to handle. It was a mess. It’s how the apocalypse almost started.” He let out a sigh, his shoulders rising and falling in hopelessness. “Then, he and Aunt Amara went back to Heaven and left the Angels in charge.”

As they sat there and spoke about Castiel’s time being on Earth and how he managed to survive being homeless, their food finally arrived and was placed in front of them. Dean’s mouth practically watered at the sight of his steak dinner and Castiel just shook his head. He knew how much Dean was in love with food. He knew how much Dean was able to eat as well, although he did have the suspicion that Dean wouldn’t be able to finish both of their meals and would be bringing home leftovers.

_Cas, you got your ears on? I know it’s only been a few weeks since you’ve been gone, but man, it feels like a lifetime. Sam and I have been working nonstop to get you back here. It’s not the same without you. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I uh, I can’t wait to have you back, buddy. Don’t be a stranger, okay? It’d be really good to see you._

Receiving prayers was beginning to become painful the longer Castiel stayed away from his connection to Heaven. He let out a soft breath through pursed lips with his eyes squeezing shut as he rubbed at his forehead. As the prayer came to an end, Castiel was able to sense the sadness coming from his friend. He wanted to go back home to the bunker and be with Dean and Sam. He figured that Dream Walking would be worth the painful migraines if he got to know what was happening back home. 

“Cas? You okay?” Dean reached over and gripped his forearm to get his attention. 

The Angel just nodded. He didn’t trust his own voice. 

They continued to converse while Dean ate his food and to Castiel’s surprise, Dean was actually able to finish his food and a third of his own plate. When they were finished with their food and drinks, Dean was able to get a box for the rest of the steak he didn’t finished and paid the bill so they were able to leave. The cold air rushed into the building as they stepped outside and walked over towards his car. Dean unlocked the Impala so that he was able to put his takeout on the drivers seat then turned to Castiel. 

He’d always wanted to explore Downtown Lawrence. He remembered when his mother took him and Sam along the strip so that they were able to go in the toy store and each get something. It was a memory he always cherished whenever he wanted to think of something to keep his thoughts positive. Dean closed the door and gestured for Castiel to follow him. They then began to wander aimlessly along the sidewalk.

“Where are we going?” Castiel questioned when he felt Dean’s shoulder bump against his. 

Dean gave a slight shrug as a crooked smile spread across his lips, “No where in particular since the shops are getting ready to close, just thought we’d go for a walk. They’ve changed a lot since I last been here.”

They passed a few gift shops as they weaved through the couples that were on their way to their destination. “It’s really nice out. Though I don’t think I’ve been here before. I like it.” Castiel smiled as he watched the lights on the trees twinkle. “Dean?” The Angel turned to face Dean though he wasn’t prepared to see the warm glow of the Christmas lights that lit up Dean’s face. “Do you believe in destiny?”

“Nah, I don’t believe in that. I don’t think God has some predestined purpose for me to do in my future, Cas. Why?” Dean bumped his shoulder against Castiel’s again.

“Just curious... What about soul-mates?” Castiel let his gaze fall to his feet as they walked.

“Nope. The whole true love thing is a load of crap in my opinion. God doesn’t sit up there and play matchmaker.” Dean chuckled softly at the thought, “Why are you asking me this?”

Castiel pressed his lips together at Dean’s question. Why was he asking these questions? “Actually, the Cupids get their orders from Heaven. I don’t know about here but at home things are different.” He wanted to deflect the question since he didn’t have an answer to give. He was still trying to figure out his own reasons as to why he was questioning Dean. 

“There are Cupids? Jeez, your universe is all sorts of wonky.” Dean chuckled while shaking his head. “C’mon, let’s head back home. It’s getting late.”

The word home struck a chord in Castiel’s heart as they crossed the street to take the long way back to the Impala. As they passed the toy store again, Dean couldn’t help but to smile. The thought of the fire truck his mom had bought him when he was six lingered in his mind. They stayed close to each other as they walked along the strip until the trunk of the car separated them. Castiel got in first while Dean moved the food into the middle of the bench then took his spot in the driver’s seat. The ride home was filled with Dean singing along to the cassette _High Voltage_ by _AC/DC_.

***

September 3rd, 2009

Dean stared at himself in the full-length mirror that was located within his closet. He stepped back and fixed his Commando V Neck sweater then dusted off his shoulders then ran his index finger over his stitched last name before glancing up to stare at his reflection again. It seemed like forever since he last wore his uniform. The feel of it on his skin made him feel odd. It was also heavier than he remembered. It also seemed like forever since he woke up before the sun was even in the sky. Of course Dean wasn’t a morning person and he couldn’t function without a good cup of coffee. If he was going to be up for a 12-hour shift, he definitely needed his caffeine fix.

If he didn’t want to snap at anyone, he needed to be fully alert and ready to actually be prepared for work. Dean let out a soft sigh before grabbing his wallet and cellphone from the nightstand then made his way downstairs. He figured Castiel was still in his room since the Angel wasn’t anywhere to be found. Better get this over with. Dean started a fresh pot of coffee and took out two slices of bread, placed them in the toaster, and then pressed down on the button.

For breakfast, Dean made himself a toasted bacon and egg sandwich so that he was able to eat and drink his coffee. He was surprised that Castiel didn’t bother to come down and startle him by sitting next to him in silence. The Angel always seemed to come downstairs whenever Dean was up in the kitchen making breakfast. It was something he was getting used to since the Angel had been there. They’d spent a lot of time together. He was even amazed to find that he was starting to enjoy having the Angel around, even with all of his quirkiness and random questions.

When inside the car, Dean started up the engine and played his favorite mixtape to fill the silence. After spending every waking moment with Castiel, the car began to feel empty without the Angel next to him as he drove down to the department. There was also that hollow feeling that began to grow within his chest the further away he drove away from home but he wouldn’t allow himself to dwell on it. He had work to do.

***

Once Dean arrived at the station, he began to feel nervous. It’d been near four and a half months since he’d been gone and he feared that he wouldn’t be able to perform like he did before his injuries. Swallowing his anxiety, he got out of the car with his jacket on his arm and headed to the double doors then stepped inside. Dean shuddered, the heat within the building reminding him of why he didn’t like wearing his uniform inside of the department.

Inside the building, he was able to hear chatter from his fellow partners and from the television as well. His boots echoed against the floor as he made his way into the lounging area where some of the morning shift workers were sitting. Of course the day hadn’t started so they were probably working on their assigned tasks yet but they all needed to be ready in case they were called for an unexpected emergency that required one of their teams. That was the perk of being a firefighter, being prepared in the face of danger. While no one was paying attention, he went to hang his jacket in his assigned locker, along with his cellphone and wallet. After, he went to sit down on the couch next to a skinny male with shaggy hair and a backwards trucker cap.

“Dean! You’re back. Man, it’s so good to see you back on the field!” Garth said when he turned his attention away from the television. He then wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders, causing him to stiffen before giving him a light pat against the young man’s back. “How are you, man?” He asked once he pulled back.

Dean grunted at the sudden movement. He’d completely forgot that the kid was a hugger. Dean had told Garth many times in the past that he wasn’t much of a hugger but that didn’t stop the young man from doing it anyways. “Ah, yeah, okay. Okay, Garth.” He gave a soft pat to the man’s back before he pulled away. “It’s good to see you too. I’m glad to be back. I was goin’ cuckoo sitting in the nest all day.” 

“Dude, you know so many people asked about you while you were out. Apparently you’ve become popular amongst the locals. They wanted us to do some charity event for the families that lost their stuff in that apartment building. Phillips ran it to Milton but I don’t think it got approved.” Dean’s brow arched at the news. “You know, saving that kid. He considers you his hero. He and his mom even came by looking for you.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. So he’s doing okay?” Dean smiled when he saw the quirky male next to him nod. “Good. I’m just glad he’s doing okay.” He then began to stand up from his comfortable spot. “Well, I better go let Philips know that I’m back.”

Garth smiled up at him. “It’s good to see you back.” 

On his way to the commanding chief’s office, all of his partners were taking a moment out of their Station duties to ask how he was or to tell him that they were glad to see that he was finally back on the field. Most gave him pats on the back as he made his way down the hall to meet with the commanding officer. The room was surprisingly cool compared to the rest of the department when he stepped inside. Philips was a middle-aged man with a salt and peppered scruffy beard and a receding hairline. The officer was sitting at his desk with his attention focused on his computer so he didn’t hear Dean when he entered. Dean then closed the door behind him, making sure to get Mr. Philip’s attention before sitting down at the oak desk.

Without looking up from his computer, Mr. Philips cleared his throat. “Ah, Dean. I’m glad to have my lead firefighter back on the field. I actually wanted to speak with you so I’m glad you stopped by.” Dean nodded, urging him to continue. “I spoke with your doctor. We both agreed that starting you out on 12-hour shifts would be best to start you out with. I have your schedule up on the screen so I’ll print you out a copy of that in a moment.”

Dean folded his hands within his lap, listening to his commanding officer speak. He’d forgotten how long these processes were but then again he was prepared to trek through them so he could be on the field again. “Yeah, I can handle 12-hour shifts. I’ve got a lot of energy to let loose.” He gave a nervous chuckle as he noticed the serious stare he was receiving.

He was honestly ready to get his life back on track.

Mr. Philips shook his head, his eyes narrowing just a bit. “This is serious, Dean. You’re my best lead and I can’t risk having something bad happen to you again. If you prove to me that you can handle it, I’ll consider switching you back on the 48-hour rotations again. But if you show any signs of not being able to handle it, I’ll send your ass home faster than you can down a shot of whiskey.”

Well, that's reassuring. Dean whistled low between his teeth, giving a firm nod. “I promise you I’m better than ever. I feel fine. My leg is good and I’ve been taking it easy to reserve energy.” He smiled, hoping that it would ease his commanding officer’s attitude. He tilted his head as he listened to the screeching sound of the printer as his schedule was being made. He wondered how Philips was able to stand the noise since it was a loud and grating sound.

“Don’t let me down.” Mr. Philips snatched the schedule from the printer and handed it to Dean.

The 1-Alarm assignment echoed throughout the department as red emergency lights flashed along the walls. Dean was the first out of his seat, making his way out of the office and down the hall to where he’d hung up his Responder jacket. Everyone began to dress in a hurry, putting on his or her Turnout gear, trying to beat the two-minute timer that began buzzing right after the 1-Alarm assignment sounded. 

The Personnel team quickly loaded onto the Squad truck and left the station, with a Ladder truck in pursuit. They were responding to a car accident that went horribly wrong. Full details weren’t discussed, just a brief rundown of the situation that they were running into. The anticipation was always the hardest part of the job. Dean never knew what kind of scene he’d be entering whenever they were the first responders. It was times like these that Dean practiced keeping a clear head so that he was ready to face anything.

***

_Dean – Senior Year – Sioux Falls_

_There was gossip circulating around the halls that a freshman student had made his way onto the roof of their high school. As the students began to leave the halls to stand outside to watch whether the kid would jump, Dean quickly pushed through the gathering crowd so that he could hopefully avoid a tragic accident. Of course he didn’t have to do this but it would be good practice for his future career. Besides, Dean loved kids and didn’t want to see anyone end their life. It wasn’t worth it._

_The thought of Sam being the one on the ledge, debating whether to jump or keep living flashed through his mind. His heart began to hammer within his chest as he took the stairs two at a time, trying to hurry before the kid finally made up his mind to jump._

_“Dean! Where are you going?” One of the students called out to him but he didn’t bother to answer._

_When he finally reached the top floor, he quietly opened the door so that he wouldn’t startle the kid. Dean cautiously walked towards the young boy that was standing at the edge of the roof of the high school. Even though he’d seen it in movies, he never thought he’d be the one trying to stop a victim from jumping. He kept his vision on the child, taking note of his hesitation. Hesitation! That was a good sign. Maybe the kid was actually afraid to go through with it._

_“Hey, kid. My name’s Dean. What’s your name?” Dean called out in a soothing voice. He didn’t want to alarm him. His head tilted slightly when the young boy didn’t answer. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” He spoke in his soothing voice as he continued to inch closer._

_The young boy remained silent as he continued to stare at the ground below. There was a row of cars parked next to the building. Deep down, Dean knew he wanted to panic. To pull this kid from the ledge and drag him away but he knew that wouldn’t work. It would only make this sort of situation worse. Dean made sure to keep his eyes on the kid, taking note at how he would shift his eyes over towards Dean, causing him to take a step to the side in case he was making the kid uncomfortable._

_“Look, nothing in this life is so bad that you’d even think about ending yours.” He was now standing next to the young kid, though he remained away from the ledge. “Tell me, what’s so bad that you’d want to end your life?”_

_The young kid finally looked at Dean as if he was now realizing he was there. He had a purple bruise forming on his cheek and his eye was beginning to swell._

_“I just want the pain to stop.” The kid whispered, his gaze casting downward._

_Dean took a deep breath as he steadied his nerves. This was the type of career field he was going to enter. Rescue was a part of being a firefighter and he knew it. This was something he couldn’t screw up. It felt as if his future depended on it._

_“Why don’t you tell me about the pain? Is there something I can help you with?” Dean questioned, keeping the calming tone. He knew that in these sorts of situations that it was best to distract someone rather than trying to coax them from jumping. His jaws clenched when he saw the kid move his foot as if he were going to walk off of the ledge. “Hey, why don’t I sit down and you tell me a story. It can be about anything you want. I won’t move. I’ll just sit here and listen to whatever you have to say.”_

_Dean let out a sigh of relief when the kid took a slight step away from the ledge. When he saw that the kid wasn’t going to move back any further, he put his hands up in a placating manner as he lowered himself down until he was able to sit Indian style._

_The young boy waited a moment, keeping his gaze on Dean until he was fully seated. “My name is Lucas.” He took a breath through his nose as his lashes rested against his cheeks. “I just want the pain to end. The abuse that I get everyday.” Lucas’ voice trembled as he tried to keep his voice leveled. “My step-dad came home drunk last night.” Dean’s jaws clenched as he listened to Lucas speak._

_“Mom was hiding in her room with the door locked so he came in mine.” Lucas took a shuddering breath. “Apparently he got really drunk because he and mom had a fight earlier that day about money. So he took his anger out on me since he couldn’t get in mom’s room. I forgot to lock my door.” Lucas’ hands balled into fists against his sides. “This has been going on ever since I was little.”_

_Dean cleared his throat as he listened to Lucas’ story. So it was abuse that was causing him to want to jump. He placed his hands against his knees and rubbed his palms along his thighs. “Y’know, I get it. I understand the pain you’re going through.” He said after a moment of silence. When Lucas looked at him in a confused manner, Dean continued. “My dad. Uh, he … became a real bad drunk after my mom died. I mean, he was a hard ass before but when she died, something in him just broke. It's like he stopped trying to be a father and just became more of a drill sergeant. We got evicted from every apartment we tried to move in. I took most of the blows while trying to protect my baby brother from whatever drunken fit he was having.”_

_Lucas took another step away from the ledge and began to sit down, copying Dean’s moves. “My dad couldn’t provide for his family. I was the one who always had to look after my brother while he drank our rent money away. I was always left alone to watch after my brother while he stayed gone for days… until I ran out of food for my brother to eat. After no landlord would take us in, we started living in motels. Sometimes we’d break into a room that was hidden from Check-in so we would be able to sleep. Other times we slept in the car.” Dean licked over his bottom lip. He always hated bringing up his past. “I’ve been where you are now… My ol’ man, he, uh, he came back to the motel drunk off his ass and was upset that I’d stepped out to get some food because we were hungry or because I spent his hard earned money that he hustled from someone.”_

_They sat silently for a moment, Dean letting his own story sink in and Lucas twiddling his fingers within his lap._

_“And then what happened?” Lucas asked, lowering his head so that Dean couldn’t read his face._

_“He broke my arm.” Dean shrugged nonchalantly. “He grabbed me, threw me against the refrigerator, and took his anger out on me. He kept saying," He cleared his throat and deepened his voice a bit, "'You were supposed to be watching your brother! I told you to not to leave this room, Dean. I told you that you're to never let him out of your sight! Anything could have happened!'” His gaze hardened as he shifted to look at the ground below. “I was fourteen years old but I would have taken any beating if it meant keeping him away from my brother.”_

_“Did you ever want to make the pain go away? To just stop getting abused because your dad was drunk?” Lucas began to glare at the ground below them._

_Sighing, Dean shook his head. “No because then he would have taken his anger and frustrations out on my brother. I could never let that happen to him.” He then let out a soft chuckle. “When my dad was out one night, I packed our stuff and came here. Now we live with our uncle and have been here ever since. It took a long time but we were finally able to get him off our backs.”_

_They both sat on top of the school’s roof for another four hours before Dean was finally able to coax Lucas from killing himself. When they both came down, Bobby was standing next to the Impala with his arms crossed. For a moment, Dean thought that he was in trouble until Bobby patted him on the shoulder._

_“You’re going to make one hell of a firefighter, Dean.”_

***

“Winchester! Hey, Winchester, you alive in there?” A rough voice called, startling Dean out of his thoughts. He glanced over to see Milligan staring at him with a deadpan expression.

After a while of sitting in the Ladder truck, they finally reached the scene of the accident where a semi-truck ran into a SUV, knocking it off the road and into the guardrails. Dean was the first responder to exit the truck, listening as Mr. Philips gave them a brief overview of what happened. It was now Dean’s job to look within the SUV to make sure no one was hurt.

“At approximately 7:54 Am we have a 23103. Semi-truck collided with the driver’s side of the SUV. Two female passengers were able to climb out of the driver’s side window. Passenger’s side is completely smashed against the guardrails.” Mr. Philips read off of the report. “Winchester! See if the vehicle is empty. I believe there was some fuss about a child but I couldn't quite understand.”

As Dean made his way over to the vehicle, he could hear the woman screaming and sobbing hysterically though he barely able to understand her over the sound of his commanding officer speaking with one of the paramedics. 

The driver and passenger seat were both empty. Dean was about to call vehicle clear until he heard a soft whimper within the backseat. _How could I have missed that?_ There was a little girl curled up tightly beneath a blanket in the back seat. The decision to wait until the paramedics came was the initial thought that passed in his mind until he was beginning to smell gasoline. _Shit, shit, shit!_

“Hello, sweetie. I’m Dean. I’m going to get you out of here, okay? I just need you to stay calm.” He added when she began to panic. “I know I look frightening but I’m the good guy, okay? I promise I’m going to get you out of here safely.” He spoke softly as he tried to open the sliding door. When the door didn’t budge due to the heavy damage, he let out a growl. “Son of a bitch!” He muttered as he quickly ran around to the other side but stopped short when he saw that it was forced tightly against the guardrail.

“What’s the matter, Winchester?” William – the engineer – called out.

Dean lifted his head when he heard his name being called. He’d managed to smash through trunk window with his forearm and jumped inside. He was actually thankful that his uniform was so thick for once. “There’s a kid in here!” He hollered loud enough for the others to hear. “The fuel take is also leaking!”

Immediately, the other firefighters began to grab materials to help Dean get the child to safety.

Dean focused his attention on getting the child out of the SUV and away to safety once he was in the backseat with her. He could already tell that she was going to need to be treated for shock from the way she was shaking. The sharp sound of metal creaked in protest as the cutters were used to dismantle the back passenger door on the drivers side. A smaller set of sheers was passed to Dean through the broken window so that he was able to break away the damaged buckle of the seatbelt.

With enough force, Dean was able to get the buckle and seatbelt away from the little girl. He slid his arms beneath her and lifted her up from the seat. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and held on as he began kicking at the passenger door to help tear the door away from the SUV. Once the door finally gave, Dean slid out of the car with the child hanging onto him, her fingers clutched into his Turnout jacket.

After another ambulance arrived on the scene, the little girl was rushed to the hospital along with her mother and aunt. They stayed after to clean up the aftermath and to make sure the truck driver was going to be fine. Dean learned that the man had finally collapsed after taking a lot of caffeine to stay awake to make his quota. When they were finally finished, they headed back to the station so that they could clean up and set up for the next alarm. 

***

The hours were filled with car accidents, small house fires, and other emergencies that required the station. A false emergency was also notified when a student pulled the fire alarm as a prank at school and caused a 2-Alarm assignment to echo throughout the station.

When their Responder team was finally able to take a small break, Dean’s squad sat in the lounging room and watched an old episode of Perry Mason. It wasn’t until Dean and Andy’s stomachs began to growl that they all realized they were hungry. Today was also the first day in six years that Dean and Andy didn’t work together but he knew they’d be back on the job together tomorrow. There was some unspoken law in the department that said they worked well together and they should always be paired. There was also a rumor that Dean was hard to work with whenever he entered a stubborn mindset. He couldn’t argue with that.

While another Responder squad was out tending to emergencies, Dean, Andy, and Garth took the time to go grocery shopping so they were able to make meals for everyone once they returned. Even though they were out buying food, they had to remain vigilant in case they were needed for another possible situation. Luckily the shopping experience was pretty quick and they were able to make it back to the station with enough time to prepare a meal for everyone before the other members came back.

***

With Shift A’s 12-hour shift complete, it was finally time for Shift B to take their place. There were other firefighters who stayed behind due to the fact that they were on a 48-hour rotation.

The frigid air nipped at Dean’s nose as he walked through the parked cars to his Impala. Dean leaned against the hood of his car while looking at his phone. He didn’t have many messages, just a few from Castiel, Sam, and Charlie. It didn’t take long for him to reply back to them. Dean then got inside of the car, started the engine, and headed home after backing out of his parking spot. He filled the silence with a _Black Sabbath_ mixtape he’d made a few years ago as he stopped at a diner so he was able to get something to eat.

With his food finished and his bill paid, the only thing that was left was to go home. Luckily, there wasn’t any evening traffic along the highway and it made it easier to just straight-shoot it until he was able to turn on his street and into the driveway. The house was completely dark upon arrival, which made Dean wonder if Castiel was in his room or out for another walk. The other day when Castiel took a walk and came back late, Dean nearly panicked. Dean knew that he was an Angel and could more than likely handle himself out in the world, but he couldn’t ignore the overprotective feeling he’d get whenever he wasn’t near.

Dean killed the engine and got out of the car, the driver’s door squeaking in protest. Out of habit, Dean began to survey the front area until he deemed it clear and made his way into the house. The original _Ghostbusters_ was playing on the television yet Castiel wasn’t anywhere in sight. A sinking feeling began to root itself in his chest as he began to scan the living room. Dean made his way upstairs, and only then was he able to hear Castiel shuffling around in his bedroom.

A sigh of relief passed Dean’s lips. He knew exactly what he wanted to do now. He had another 12-hour shift ahead of him and sleep was the third thing to do on his list. He needed a shower first. The scent of smog, oils, and other unknown fumes clung to his skin which made him lightheaded if he breathed in deep enough. Dean went into his bedroom, closed the door, and stripped off his uniform then placed it in the closet. After his clothes were in the closet, he took out his cellphone and wallet then placed them on the table.

Next it was time for his shower.

Dean turned on the bathroom light, his eyes squinting from the brightness, and headed for the shower to turn on the water. When the bathroom was covered in steam, Dean stepped inside the hot spray and just stood there, letting the water wash over his head and down his back. For the last few days it had become harder and harder to blank his mind whenever he was alone, especially in the shower. Whenever he tried to fantasize about Carmen to get aroused, he’d get the blue-eyed woman instead, but as of recently, he got the Angel who was down the hall from him. 

At first, the thought of fantasizing about another man scared him shitless but it was as if his body wanted it. It was like his body was reacting with joy to the thoughts in his head finally changing from Carmen to Castiel. He honestly didn’t understand why that was or why he was actually able to get off to perverse thoughts of the Angel. The first night he fantasized about Castiel, they had gone out to a bar with Charlie and her girlfriend Gilda. She wanted to introduce Dean to her properly instead of him knowing her from the doctor’s office. While they were there, he couldn’t help but stare at the way the Angel’s lips fitted around the mouth of his beer bottle. Sure, he’d stare from time to time while they were in the house but he didn’t think it would go this far.

After all, Castiel wanted to go back home. Nothing good would come of Dean fantasizing about him. But then again, that’s all it was. Just fantasies and perverse thoughts of his cock in Castiel’s mouth and all of the sounds he’d make if it were to ever become a reality. But Dean knew better and keeping those thoughts to himself was probably going to be his best bet. Maybe it was just best to get it out of his system until Carmen actually came back. The most he was able to chalk it up to was sexual deprivation and he was projecting it onto Castiel unintentionally.

Dean leaned heavily against the back end of the wall, his hand blindly reaching for his bottle of soap. Letting out a slow breath, Dean placed soap onto his towel and wet it then began to wash over his body. Dean’s jaw tightened as he felt the blood rushing to his cock. Shame filled his veins as he began to picture Castiel in the shower with him. He shouldn’t be having those thoughts, especially about an Angel. It was wrong and his thoughts alone would be enough for him to be sent to hell.

No matter how much he tried to think of something else just to make himself stay flaccid, it was as if his body wanted to disagree with whatever he tried to think of. His mind continued to stay focused on Castiel’s lips and how swollen they’d be stretched around him or if they were as soft as they appeared if their lips were to actually touch. He wanted to draw out as many deep moans as he could from the Angel’s mouth. He wanted to see the Angel blissed out in post orgasm but he knew he’d never say these out loud. The shame continued to course through him as he washed over himself, leaving his cock alone until he was ready to touch.

He was in serious need. Being sexually deprived was uncomfortable and Dean honestly didn’t know how to handle it. It was as if he could try and convince himself that he wanted Carmen and that he’d wait for her to return but he knew that he’d break. But the guilt and shame ran deep. Not to forget the fear of disappointing his family. He shouldn’t be thinking this way. Dean’s breath caught in his throat as the water ran over his head and down his shoulders, rinsing away the soap. 

_I can’t keep this up. I can’t keep doing this… This is the last time._

_Son of a bitch._

Dean clenched his jaw once again as he reached for the bottle of soap and squeezed a dime size onto his palm then put the bottle back on the shelf. He took an unsteady breath and used the soap on his palm to slick up his shaft then ran the tips of his fingers over the head and along the underside, near the sensitive nerves that caused a shiver to travel along his spine. In many ways, he kept picturing Castiel naked, quivering, and begging him. 

_This is wrong. He’s an Angel. You’re not gay, Dean. Remember that?_

Lust began to cloud his better judgment. His body was working against his brains pleas for him to stop. Truthfully, he didn’t want to stop. For the last few days, each orgasm he had to the perverse thoughts of him and Castiel together happened to be the best ones he’d had in a long time. Of course this would never go farther than his bedroom and or bathroom. He focused on keeping his voice low. He didn’t want to alert Castiel to what he was doing. _Talk about awkward._

Dean squeezed along the shaft and began to thrust firmly into his fist while jerking his hand so that he was able to use the right amount of pressure. He groaned low in his throat, his right palm squeezed at the head while using the tips of his fingers to rub along the slit and spread the precum along the head. A searing heat began to pool in the pit of his stomach as he closed his eyes. A bright pair of blue eyes was staring back at him. They were glassy and the pupils were dilated with arousal.

Streaks of cum painted the floor as Dean’s knees buckled and tremors ran throughout his body. He stood in the water a little longer as his body began to desensitize from the burning heat that continued to cause his skin to tingle, even against the now cooling water. Dean’s breath began to normalize after a few seconds of deep breathing. When he was completely washed off, Dean grabbed his towel, turned off the water, and headed for bed. 

Since it was late and he stayed inside of the bathroom longer than he’d expected to, he crawled into the bed after dropping his towel and climbed under the blankets. Dean was asleep in no time.

***

The water washed along the shore as Dean sat in a lounge chair with a fishing pole in his hand. This had to have been one of the milder scenes he’d had in a while. He was very proud that he wasn’t dreaming about a certain someone this time around. When the scene began to change, Dean looked around in bewilderment as he was now standing in a dim lit room with a brunette who had their back turned to him. Cautiously, Dean walked over towards the brunette and let out a sigh of relief when he noticed it wasn’t the blue-eyed woman or the Angel. That was the last thing he’d wanted to happen now.

“Dean,” She began. He knew that voice. His heart began to hammer in his chest as she turned around to face him, “Please don’t tell me that you’re thinking about sleeping with someone else behind my back. How could you do this to me? To us?” Dean swallowed because he didn’t know how to answer. He stared at her and let out a pained sigh. He’d yearned to see her without blue eyes, to hear her voice, or to even feel her in his arms but he didn’t imagine this.

“Carmen, I can explain.” _How? How could you possibly explain this, Dean?_

“You are, aren’t you?” Carmen’s eyes widened as she lifted up an accusatory finger at him.

“You’re not here. I haven’t seen or heard from you in damn near two months.” He was trying to justify his actions. “You’re all the way in Nevada, you don’t answer my calls, and you haven’t even bothered to call to see how I’ve been.” Dean’s jaw clenched tightly, his eyes shifting off towards the side as he tried to get his emotions in check.

“You know damn well I’m taking care of my sick mother, Dean. That doesn’t give you the right to go and think about sleeping with someone else, now does it?” Her hands were now on her hips as if to make herself look bigger. The sight wasn’t intimidating at all considering he towered over her.

Dean turned away from her. He didn’t like the way she was looking at him, even if this was his subconscious appearing in his dreams.

“I know that! But over a month of no talking, Carmen, what am I supposed to think? Hell, how do I know you haven’t found some guy out there where you are, huh? You think this long distance crap is easy? Well it’s not. I’m worried about you all the time. I think about you all the time, and you know what? I’m upset that I can’t let go of the fact that we don’t talk. I’m sorry and scared that someone else is able to get me aroused and trust me, it wasn’t supposed to happen.” Dean ran his fingers against his forehead, his fingers occasionally rubbing harshly along his skin.

“Oh, come on, Dean. You honestly think that I would do that to you? I love you, Dean. I wouldn’t have agreed to marry you if I didn’t.” Her eyes were narrowed. “We were supposed to start a family when I got back, Dean. We were supposed to grow old together and be grandparents. You want to throw this all away?”

“I know, Carmen, I don’t know why I’d think that but I can’t help it.” A tear escaped the corner of Dean’s lashes. “God, help me, I know. I want that. Trust me, I’ve wanted that ever since I met you” Dean paused, his eyes glistening as he took in a deep breath. “But I can’t do this.”

“What?” Carmen’s eyes widened, taking a step back from him.

“This, us, Carmen, I can’t do this long distance relationship crap.” His fingers pulled at his hair in frustration. “I need you here. With me. I know it’s selfish but that’s how I feel.”

“So, you want to break up with me for some guy? You aren’t even gay, Dean!”

“I don’t want to break up with you for some guy. I just don’t want to do this long distance relationship anymore.” Dean sighed, shaking his head, “Besides, he’d not just ‘some guy’. He’s an Angel.” _You’re not helping your case, Dean._

“He’s in a male body, Dean.” She snapped, “You’re honestly thinking about this, huh? I knew this was going to be an issue when you were beginning to fantasize about him.” A harsh slap stung against Dean’s cheek.

“I’m sorry.” Dean’s tongue ran against the inner part of his cheek. “It’s weird, I know, but I can’t help it. There’s this pull that I feel whenever he’s in close proximity. It’s like my soul yearns to be near him. I’ve tried to ignore it but whenever I do that, it gets worse. I feel empty inside. Something inside of me just keeps pulling me towards him, Carmen. I don’t think I’ll be able to keep fighting for long.” 

“Dean,” Carmen’s mouth opened but it wasn’t her voice that came out. “Dean, wake up.” 

There was a light shake to his shoulder.

With a jolt, Dean’s eyes flew open and he automatically reached for his gun beneath his pillow and aimed it at the bleary figure that was in front of him. Bright blue eyes widened as he held his hands up in defense.

“Cas? What are you doing in here?” Dean questioned when his vision began to clear.

“You were having a nightmare.” Castiel mumbled, his hands lowering when Dean finally put his gun away. “You were grunting in your sleep and I sensed stress from you. So I came in here to check on you.” 

Dean settled back into his pillows and blanket, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looked over at the clock on the nightstand. He still had a few hours before he had to get up for work and he wanted to use them. “Cas, I appreciate the concern but I’m fine, okay? I promise. I’m gonna go back to sleep now.”

Castiel nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him. Dean then fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave Kudos and Comments. I enjoy everyone's feedback!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know I'm a lengthy writer and I apologize.
> 
> Also, I used a real restaurant in this chapter. It's in Downtown Kansas :]


	4. Smoke On The Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** Warning ***
> 
> This chapter contains graphic homophobic language along with physical and verbal child abuse.
> 
> This chapter also contains mentions of murder.

**September 4th, 2009**

The hot coffee warmed Dean’s insides as it made its way down his throat and into the pit of his stomach. He was more than skilled in the art of drinking hot coffee, even when the contents burned his mouth. As he sat there in the kitchen, he was able to hear Andy boasting about his recent girlfriend. On his way in this morning, Andy made sure to tell him in full detail about how she may be the girl of his dreams and that he actually meant it this time. Dean just scoffed at the idea but then again anything was possible. 

Since Dean had woken up late and left the house without having his daily dosage of caffeine and food, everyone in the building knew not to talk with him. It was an unspoken rule that whenever Dean was cranky, ‘ _you don’t mess with him unless you wanted a broken arm_ ’. Of course Andy didn’t follow that rule because he knew Dean wouldn’t hurt him. Dean glared at the cheery brown haired man but there wasn't any malice in his eyes.

Andy just grinned at him with his arms folded on the table and his fingers drumming with no particular rhythm, “So, Dean, have I tell you about my new girlfriend?” His grin spread wide, reminding Dean of the Cheshire cat.

“Yes, Andy. This morning when we were outside in the parking lot and on our way in here.” Dean took another sip of his coffee and set the mug between both of his hands. “You gave me a full description of her face and personality. I feel like I personally know her.” His tone ended on a sarcastic note.

That Cheshire cat smile remained. It was like Dean’s grumpy attitude couldn’t deter his good mood, “Sorry man, I just … I’m on cloud nine. I feel like I know how you felt when you met Carmen.” Andy’s smile finally faltered when he heard the unpleasant grunt come from his friend. “What’s up? You and Carmen break up or something?”

“We’re peachy.” Dean’s eyebrows rose as he spoke in a sarcastic tone again. His lips then pursed, causing his dimples to show as Andy stared at him. He knew that look. He’d actually gotten it from Charlie, who in turn, got it from Sam. It was considered the ‘ _I know when you’re lying, Dean_ ’ face. Dean sighed, his shoulders sagging just a bit, “We didn’t break up. We’re just … not talking. Haven't been for a two months now.”

Andy sat up in his seat, his lips pressed into a thin line, and his eyebrows pulled down, causing the skin between them to wrinkle. “So, like are you two taking a break or something? I don’t get it.”

Dean shook his head then downed the rest of his coffee. He made a disgruntled expression at the aftertaste that was pungent on his tongue. “Ugh, the last swallow of this brand always tastes like ass.” He pushed the mug away with his index and middle finger then gave Andy a leveled look, “She’s in Nevada.” Andy just nodded, urging him on. “We haven’t spoken in a couple months and it makes me worry.” He gave a nonchalant shrug as if it weren’t a big deal.

“You’re so full of shit.” Andy huffed, leaning back in his chair. “Have you called her? You two were like couples goals. I’m surprised a chick like that could get you to eat a salad. Sam couldn’t even get you to eat a salad.” He snickered at the ‘ _go fuck yourself_ ’ glare Dean was giving him. “Okay, have you found another… y’know?” He leaned in conspiratorially as he spoke.

In truth, Dean wasn’t surprised at the question. He had gained a reputation in his younger years for being promiscuous whenever it came to physical gratification but this time he didn’t stray away from Carmen. He stayed faithful for five years and now that resolve was slowly crumbling down around him like a collapsing building whenever he was near Castiel. He could feel the tightness in his chest, making it hard for him to breathe, and the butterflies in his stomach whenever their eyes met or whenever they walked side by side and their fingers would brush against each other.

Dean’s fingers clenched slightly as he pressed his lips together. Andy was staring at him expectantly, wanting to know the juicy gossip about whatever girl Dean decided he’d actually cheat on Carmen with. He could feel the shame rising in the back of his neck, making his skin feel as if it were burning within his Commando V Neck sweater. “Uhm,” He swallowed down the guilt. He was considering breaking his vow for an Angel he’d just met a couple weeks ago and that scared him to death, “I might have.” The words left his mouth before his brain could catch up.

The Cheshire cat smile returned as Andy leaned forward again for more details, “Is she hot? C’mon, Dean! Don’t spare me any details.” Andy’s expression was practically begging Dean to tell him about the mystery person that was powerful enough to make Dean break an oath.

Was Castiel hot? Yes, he was. Dean wasn’t afraid to admit it. At least not to himself anyways. He found Castiel to be quite handsome. Dean licked over his bottom lips before pulling it slightly between his teeth as his thoughts began to linger on Castiel’s own lips and how they’d feel against his. Dean cleared his throat when he felt heated arousal stirring within his gut, “Uhm, Yeah, very hot… Got these, uh, really big ocean blue eyes and real plush pink lips. They’re probably really soft. I’m hoping they’re very soft. Uhh… nice, soft dark hair that's always messy, and a very dry sense of humor.” When he looked over at Andy, his expression changed to confused, “What?”

“Dude, you’re smiling. Like, it’s genuine as fuck. You didn’t even smile like that when you told me about Carmen.” Andy mirrored Dean’s smile, “So is this mystery girl gonna take Carmen’s place? Because talking about her is making you turn into a rom-com chick.” 

That was a question Dean wasn’t sure he could answer. Of course Castiel told him that it was a sin for Angels and humans to be together. So, he shook his head, “I don’t know.” He answered honestly. He then snorted, his expression turning disbelieving, “You’re a rom-com chick.” He muttered lamely. In the distance, Dean was able to hear loud cries of disgust in the lounging room. 

“Who the fuck put gay porn on the television?!” They heard Jesse’s voice echoing through the hall.

He instantly looked at Andy. The smirk alone told Dean all he needed to know and extended his fist, in which, Andy bumped his own fist against and began laughing.

“Nice.” Dean chuckled softly then cleared his throat and schooled his features when he saw Jesse storming into the kitchen.

“Which one of you dicks messed up the TV?” Jesse demanded, his fist hitting against the table in anger.

An offended expression masked Dean’s features, “What makes you think it was us?”

“Because you both are assholes who do shit like that.” Jesse gritted out in anger.

Just as Dean opened his mouth to retort back, the 2-Alarm assignment alerted everyone to that there was an emergency. Andy jumped from his seat with Dean not too far behind. They both brushed past Jesse as they ran to their gear, which was lined up near their lockers and dressed with 12 seconds to spare. Both men ran to the Ladder truck and took their usual spots. They waited for everyone to be loaded before they left out of the garage, following behind the Responder truck.

The ride on the Ladder truck was bumpy as they sped along the highway behind the Responder truck. Police sirens competed against the sirens that were blaring from the truck, making it hard to hear clearly. Dean was barely able to hear the idle chatter about what kind of fire they were going to be putting out and whether or not if anyone saw the gay porn that was playing on the TV in the lounge. _Glad to see where your priorities are_ , Dean mused.

It took them twenty minutes to make it to the scene.

Thick smoke surrounded the area with bright flames engulfing the roof of the two top apartments. The fire was spreading haphazardly each time the wind blew in different directions. William pulled the truck into the parking lot, making sure to have the fire hydrant on hand once the water tanks were empty. Everyone jumped off of the truck and into action, wondering how they were going to get their play or if they were going to just run in blind.

“At approximately 3:39 PM, we have an apartment fire with an unknown cause of ignition.” A police officer was relaying the information to Philips. The chief nodded as he listened to the description.

“Has everyone been evacuated?” Philips asked while turning to face his staff.

The officer glanced down at his notes, a frown pulling his lips down, “I don’t know. I know some people were evacuated but there still may be some people on other levels.”

Philips gave a firm nod, “Alright, I need rescue teams to check the apartment buildings and I need fire suppression now before this spreads any further!”

“On it, Chief!” William yelled as he began to set up the hose to the water tanks.

Dean and Andy ran along the first floor apartments, knocking on the doors of all of the lower level. There was another rescue team on the second floor, which was a relief that it just wasn’t them two. As they kicked open a few doors to pull out abandoned pets, they could hear the crowd of people yelling about the fire and how some of the apartments on the fourth floor had pets as well. Rescue is rescue. Person or animal, they were required to save every living creature.

“Water’s not working! Pull back! Switch to Foam Suppression!” William hollered into the radio. “I need men on the roof to get that fire into submission!”

On their way out, they made sure to close the door to each apartment then deemed that section clear. There was chatter up above, meaning that there were now guys on the roof. Their heavy footsteps moved with purpose as they found a decent spot to use the Class B extinguishers to defuse the fire that was spreading along the roof. The word “Clear!” continued to be yelled each time they entered and secured an apartment or were able to evacuate people who were disabled to leave their apartment without help.

***

It took 3 hours to get the fire under control. After the fire was out, Dean, Andy, and a few other firefighters were able to enter the buildings that were on fire once again to double check their rounds and to hopefully determine the start of the fire. Luckily for the group, the apartments were secure but the black smoke made it difficult to see one foot in front of them. It didn’t take them long to figure out that they were working with a gasoline fire after the fire hose proved to be useless. There wasn’t any gas leaks within any of the damaged apartments but they couldn’t be too sure.

It was still hard to tell what caused the fire but Dean considered it a win that they didn’t lose anyone. There were officers who were scouting around the buildings in search of anything that could have been used as evidence of foul play. Dean and Andy left out of the last apartment that had received partial damage and headed down the stairs. As he walked behind Andy, his brain began to function in overtime. There had been another gasoline fire a few towns over and that one ended up worse. A woman and her child didn’t make it out in time before the gas tank ignited and blew up the building. 

“Did you hear me?” Andy called out after slapping the back of his hand against Dean’s chest to get his attention.

Dean shook his head, “Huh?” It was hard to see Andy’s expression through the mask and Turnout gear.

Andy let out a sigh while shaking his head, “I said, do you think there’s something going on here? I mean, did you hear about that fire in Topeka? Or about that one in Lenexa that happened last month? It’s like they’re moving closer this way and getting worse.”

It took a moment for Dean to recount the times he’d heard about the fires on the news. “Yeah, yeah. I heard about them. Someone got killed too, right?” Andy just nodded as they rounded the railing and headed for their Ladder truck. “People are crazy.”

“Pft, yeah.” Andy nodded in agreement and climbed onto the truck. The clean up crew had already made their way around to secure their mess.

Dean hopped onto the truck as well and took his seat next to Andy. William was already in his spot after setting everything back in its original place and the last person they were waiting for was Philips. He was standing outside, speaking with the police chief about something Dean couldn’t quite catch over the rumble of the truck engine. After Philips entered the truck, they pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to the station.

The drive took over 45 minutes with traffic since they didn’t ride with their sirens on to head back. Once the truck was parked in the garage, everyone exited the truck and began to undress from their Turnout gear. This was their routine. To keep their Turnout gear near the truck in case another emergency required their assistance. Dean’s crew was always proficient when it came to being prepared. Leaving your gear near the truck was the smartest thing they’d done after figuring out the perfect routine for them.

***

By the time Dean was able to go sign out, it was past one in the morning. He was six hours over his shift after being called to another 2-Alarm assignment. Another fire was set in Downtown Lawrence, which required the Ladder truck and a rescue team and that took a lot longer to put out due to the fact that they had a lot of people to help out of the apartment building. Dean wasn’t sure whether he wanted to just sleep in the bedroom he shared with Andy or if he was able to actually drive after breathing in so much smog for the day. Dean leaned against his locker before finding the strength to open it and retrieve his cellphone, wallet, and keys.

After grabbing his Responder jacket to keep warm, he headed out into the frigid air and huddled the jacket closer around his body. The cold air was a sign that they were going to have a cold winter this year. Dean didn’t mind the cold but at times it could get annoying when he was trying to be professional while on the field and then find an ice patch and then lose footing. As he walked to his beloved car, he reached into his pocket to take out his cellphone. A frown set on his lips when he noticed the screen was black because battery was dead.

“Fuck. Forgot to put you on charge, huh.” Dean muttered to himself while glaring at the black screen.

Dean was quick to start the car and crank up the heat after he’d made it into the drivers seat. He waited a few minutes for the car to warm up before backing out of his spot and leaving the lot to turn onto the main road. Instead of listening to a mix tape, Dean settled for a classic rock radio station that was playing Foreigner. As he drove along the highway, his stomach began to growl and Dean wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to stop for food or just haul ass until he got home.

Since it was late out, there wasn’t much traffic and he was able to make it home within a reasonable time after stopping to get a burger at a drive-thru restaurant. Then again, his driving always made it easier for him to make it home with time to spare. It was one of the things Sam hated whenever they were in the car together. Dean pulled onto his street and into his driveway then killed the engine. He sat there for a moment longer so that he was able to bask in the warmth of the car. There wasn’t much movement in the house but it was also hard to tell because the curtains were drawn and the blinds were closed.

Dean decided it was time to get out of the car once the heat was replaced with cool air that was beginning to make its way into the car. He walked to the front door and opened it. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but he was surprised to see Castiel in the living room this time instead of hiding in his room. He closed the door behind him and made sure he secured the locks before heading to the couch. Before he could make it a few paces, Castiel was up and coming towards him with a frown on his lips.

A million things began to pass through Dean’s mind in that split second. _Castiel’s angry. He’s found a way back home. Something bad has happened. Dear God, he found out about my nightly shower routine._ Dean’s heart hammered within his chest the closer Castiel got before the air was knocked out of his lungs. Castiel nearly crashed into him, his arms wrapping around him in a solid embrace. It took Dean a moment for his brain to kick-start after a minor short-circuiting due to the unexpected hug.

“Dean!”

Dean swallowed, his breathing already beginning to slow as he felt the firmness that was Castiel’s chest against his. “It’s, uh, it’s good to see you too, Cas.” Dean mumbled against the Angel’s ear as he brought an arm up to pat at Castiel’s lower back. Dean’s pulse began to rush inside of his ears when he felt Castiel’s face press against the unclothed part of his neck. There was a mixture of awkwardness and arousal stirring within his lower stomach… More arousal than anything.

Castiel finally let good and stepped back. His blue eyes were slightly frantic but Dean was able to see the relief in them. “I thought something bad happened to you.”

Not sure what to do, Dean reached over and patted Castiel’s arm awkwardly, “I’m good. I’m fine, see?” He gestured over himself with his hands, “No broken bones. I didn’t even get a scratch on me today. That’s actually a first considering my track record.”

Castiel rolled his eyes and let out a small sigh, “Dean, I’m being serious. There was a body found earlier today in Lenexa.” His eyes grazed over Dean as if searching for something that would be out of place, “A man that fit your description. I panicked and I called you but your phone went to voicemail. And when you didn’t come back around 7:30, I got worried but then I started watching the news and I got scared and called you again.”

 _So he was worried about me._ Sure in Dean’s line of work there, wasn’t always a guarantee that he’d make it out without broken bones or even his life. But he wasn’t going to fault the guy for worrying. “I had to work late and forgot to charge my phone. It was in my locker.” Then as he processed Castiel’s words, his head tilted slightly, “Whoa, wait. There was a body found? … Today. At what time?” He could still feel the intense stare the Angel was giving him. Like, if he were to look away, Dean would disappear or just collapse and turn to dust. Dean also noticed that he was breathing through his nose, which was something the Angel rarely ever did unless speaking.

“There was a body found at... I believe 8:47 PM in Lenexa.” The Angel answered with a straight face. 

“Huh. We had an emergency around that time.” His eyebrows drew together as his nose wrinkled just a bit. Dean licked over his bottom lip before parting his lips to speak but the words stuck to the tip of his tongue. His gaze lowered when he noticed Castiel lick over his own lips after him, his eyes on Dean’s lips. A shiver crawled up Dean’s spine at the slow pull Castiel’s tongue made over his bottom lip, “I, uh, I need to, uhm, … shower. “ Dean cleared as he glanced off towards the side then returned his gaze to Castiel’s eyes. He could feel heat rising along his neck and another wave of arousal making itself known in his groin. “Y’know, I, uh, I smell like smoke. I need to get this stink off of me.” Dean took a step backward, his hip bumping into the side of the end table before he righted himself and took off to go to his room. 

“Good night, Dean.” Castiel whispered after him.

Dean stumbled against the first step when he miscalculated the distance. “You… You, uh, okay. I’ll uh,” Dean cleared his throat so that he was able to get his thoughts in order. “I’ll see you… in th- in the morning, Cas.”

Castiel just nodded as he stared after Dean’s retreating back.

***

September 7th, 2009

The sun was shining through the curtains of Castiel’s room. He had spent most of the night trying to form a connection to his Dean but he couldn’t seem to pass the veil into the other universe. It had been days since his last Dream travel. Not that he had a problem with being stuck in this universe but he just missed his friends. He missed the thrill of hunting. Even though he was with another variation of Dean, just looking at him made his heart ache. There was also another feeling Castiel couldn’t quite describe. It was an intense feeling that reminded him of the time he’d watched porn in the room with Sam and Dean. 

There were times when he’d feel things for the hunter. No, there were a lot of times where he’d feel things for the hunter but he couldn’t act upon them. Even though his brothers and sisters didn’t consider him worthy of being an Angel, he still felt an odd sense of devotion to Heaven. He was an Angel by his standards and he wanted to at least try to follow his father’s orders on not mating with a human. But being here was beginning to test his will of strength. It wasn’t like there was much to do to distract him whenever he needed it. 

He used to be able to stare at the hunter Dean but now he’d have to remind himself not to stare at this Dean’s lips, his delicate features, the dusted freckles that splattered over his face and neck, or his eyes. These feelings he were experiencing now were new to him. At times he just wanted to forget the rules of Heaven and just kiss Dean until he was breathless. He’d felt that way for the hunter but it was much more intense this time around. If he were honest with himself, he’d agree that these urges would only get worse. He knew that they would because each day the sense of attachment to Dean was starting to anchor itself in his chest. He knew that he would eventually crack because each night he could smell Dean’s arousal whenever he took a shower. But being up close to Dean and scenting his arousal the other night made it worse. His body reacted the same way it did when he’d watched porn for the first time.

Castiel sighed as he perched on the edge of the bed. Even with the distance between them, Castiel was able to sense that Dean was still asleep. There wasn’t any stress coming from Dean due to nightmares and for that he was happy to say the least. He wondered if Dean’s nightmares were caused because of something that happened because of work or from the fear of not making it back home or from something completely different altogether. For the last two days, Dean had been working late at the station and both times Castiel couldn’t help but worry. He was afraid that Dean wouldn’t make it back home or that he’d get injured, or kidnapped even. No matter how many times Dean had told him that he’d be okay, he couldn’t help but to be skeptical. Aside from Dean leaving, Castiel was stuck in the house with nothing to do but to watch movies and television. 

Pushing himself up, Castiel stretched out from side to side so that he was able to pop his back into place with a soft groan leaving his lips. He then left out of his room and headed downstairs into the kitchen. A frown pulled at his lips when he glanced around the kitchen. Dean had made a mess before leaving to go to work yesterday. There were dishes scattered around the stovetop and in the sink. Maybe this could be a way to repay Dean for letting him stay in his home. He could work around the house to repay him or he could even find a job and help pay bills. Working really wasn’t an issue. He hadn’t minded it when he was human. He wouldn’t mind doing it again if he needed to. There wasn’t any telling how long he’d be stuck so he might just make good use of his time.

Being human and having a job that required him to do manual labor gave him the upper hand in cleaning the dishes Dean had scattered around. He even began cleaning the counters and the dried food stains that was on the stovetop. After he finished wiping down the counter tops, he went ahead and began sweeping. When the front door opened, Castiel jumped up from his crouching position and spun around to see Charlie standing in the entryway. At first he thought Dean had come down to check the mail. It was one of his routine things to do before he started work but he hadn’t heard any footsteps since he’d come downstairs.

“Hello, Charlie.” He greeted while she began taking off her shoes.

Charlie gave a friendly yet guarded smile as she took off her other shoe, “What’s up, Castiel?”

“I was up and decided to clean while Dean’s upstairs asleep.” He lowered into a crouch and started sweeping up the dust pile he had made. 

“He’s still sleeping? Maybe I should go wake him up.” She gave a devilish smirk as she waggled her eyebrow.

“Charlie, I wouldn’t do that. He’s an angry sleeper. I found out the hard way what happens when you wake him up.” Castiel said, in fear that Charlie might actually anger the sleeping man.

Charlie scoffed and let out a soft giggle, “All right, fine. I won’t go waking him up.” She leaned against the counter with her arms folded as she watched Castiel throw away the trash. “Well, I actually came by because I wanted someone to go to the store with me and to talk about my date with this hot chick that I went out with last night.”

Castiel paused for a moment, thinking over the possibility of going to the store with Charlie. Of course they weren’t close but perhaps they could start a friendship of sorts. It would also give him the opportunity to finally get out of the house without Dean. “I could go with you.” He offered after a moment of thinking it over. “I mean, if that’s all right with you.”

Charlie’s eyes lit up for a split second before narrowing just faintly. It was obvious that she still didn’t trust him, plus she only met him a couple of times and no matter how much Dean tried to talk him up to her or the times the three of them hung out together, she still was reserved around him. The look on her face told Castiel that she was now debating whether or not he’d make a suitable companion to travel with her to the store. He understood. She didn’t know him, and the one time they were introduced, she’d been told he was an Angel.

“Are you ready now? I’d like to be back before Dean wakes up.” Charlie beamed up at him.

Even though Castiel knew her smile was somewhat forced, he was happy to see she was giving him a chance. “Yes, I’ll just grab my coat and shoes then we can leave.”

***

The car ride with Charlie was different than riding with Dean. Charlie mainly played a playlist of her favorite female rock bands. As he listened to her speak, he realized she wasn’t speaking about Gilda but about someone new. The conversation she’d had with Dean last week when they all were in the bar flashed through his mind. She and Gilda seemed like they were really hitting it off. Part of Castiel felt thrilled that Charlie was finally opening up to him while the other part of him wondered if she would start to become reserved once they return back to the house.

“So, we’re going to see each other again this weekend actually.” Charlie turned her head towards Castiel before looking back at the road.

“What happened to Gilda?” Castiel questioned while keeping his eyes forward. He tried to keep his voice casual so that he wouldn’t sound accusatory.

“We had a little bit of an issue and it caused us to have a bit of a falling out but then I met Dorothy in a comic shop. It was like magic. I asked her out and she agreed, Castiel.” Her hand flailed in excitement before reaching to turn the music down a little lower. “She’s so sweet, fierce, and funny and she’s even interested in _Scar Jo_! Swoon!” Charlie fanned her hand in front of her face.

Castiel let out a soft chuckle, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he continued to smile. He was surprised that Charlie was taking the time to actually talk to him. He was, of course, just a fill-in for Dean. Then again, that didn’t bother him. He wanted to at least be her friend so that he would have someone else around other than Dean. It would be a great distraction away from whatever connection that kept pulling him in to the alternate version of the hunter.

When they reached the store, Charlie found a parking spot that was closer to the door. It took him a moment to realize that while he’d been to the store plenty of times with Dean, he failed to realize that Dean would park away from others for the safety of his car. _Same Dean, different universe_ , he thought while giving a subtle shake of his head. They got out of the car together and he had to slow his stride so that he was able to walk side by side with Charlie. It was different walking with her because she took her time. Whenever he and Dean went to the store, it was like the man was on a mission to get in and get out. _Again, same Dean, different universe_ , he reminded himself.

Castiel followed Charlie as she grabbed a shopping cart and beamed up at him. Maybe there were a few things he could get for Dean as a token of gratitude. He knew a lot about Dean in general but at times this one in particular surprised and confused him. While following after Charlie, he began to recount all of the things he knew Dean loved. Pie was a given. He also knew that his Dean loved porn. Though he never saw any pornographic magazines in this Dean’s house. As a matter of fact, he didn’t see anything pornographic within the man’s house. What was Dean without porn? His mind began to riddle the thought that maybe this Dean wasn’t as sexually promiscuous as his hunter friend.

“Castiel?” Charlie questioned, “What’s the matter?” He could feel the concern radiating off of her.

“Nothing, I, uh, I wanted to get something for Dean as a token of gratitude for letting me stay with him.” He smiled at her, hoping that was enough to ease her concerns.

Her lips curved into a crooked grin, “A gift for Dean, huh? Well, there’s pie and beef jerky.” She gave him a playful nudge with her elbow. “There’s … huh, uhm, there’s food. He loves food. Probably more than he loves anything else in this world. He actually likes jewelry but he doesn’t really wear much.”

Castiel nodded slowly as he listened to her list things that she knew Dean liked. Aside from food, he knew that Dean enjoyed westerns or according to Sam, anything to do with _Clint Eastwood_. Maybe he could look for a few movies that he figured Dean would enjoy. He knew that Dean would love them and it would be a gift well appreciated. The only issue he had with getting Dean anything that had to do with westerns was the fact that he’d probably be forced to watch them. A shudder coursed through him at the thought of sitting down and watching westerns again for three hours. But he’d endure it as long as Dean was happy.

The Angel followed Charlie into the clothes section after picking out a few packs of beef jerky and watched her pick out some outfits that she claimed was for her date. He listened as she continued to babble happily about Dorothy but he couldn’t quite focus because he was still mulling over what he’d get for Dean. Would Dean even appreciate a porn magazine? Sure the hunter had a hearty appetite when it came to porn but the only time he’d ever hear Dean was when he was in the shower. He wasn’t listening to be nosey but sometimes his interest got the best of him and he couldn’t help but listen. Sometimes being a celestial being had its perks.

He followed when Charlie went over into the lingerie and began to scan through items she figured would be good for her date. He couldn’t help the heat that rose to his face when he noticed a pair of lace panties that would barely cover anything. His reached for a pair of black lace panties and held them up, studying them. Over to his left, he could hear Charlie giggling before a hand was placed on his shoulder. He was able to feel the vibrations of her laugher through his body.

“I think you’re going to need a bigger size if you want to get those for Dean.” Charlie managed to say in between her giggle fits.

Castiel held up the scantily clad panties, a peculiar glint flashing across his features, “I was just looking.” He put the underwear back onto the rack and stood near Charlie as she continued browsing at the lingerie.

“You know, you should get Dean a pair as a gag gift. He’d find it funny.” She chimed while holding up something that was completely translucent. “Yeah! You should totally do that. Put it in a little box and have him open it. I wanna see the look on his face when he does.”

Castiel pressed his lips together at the thought of getting Dean lingerie. Would he even think it was funny? Then again, Dean was easily amused with certain things. Castiel jumped when Charlie shoved a pair laced panties that were cut out in the rear and had a bow along the band. He took the underwear and examined them then quickly put them in the cart before someone else could see. Heat rose up the back of his neck with the thought of buying lingerie for Dean as a gag gift.

When they were finished with the lingerie, Charlie followed Castiel to the jewelry section where he picked out a black Elephant hair knot bracelet, a vintage looking brown leather rope bracelet, and a sterling silver band ring. Castiel paid for the items in the jewelry section and got them each packaged in little boxes. After the jewelry was placed in the cart, Castiel followed Charlie to electronics section. He’d heard her mention that she needed a new tablet for a project she was working on but wasn't paying close enough attention to hear her clearly. 

While Charlie spoke with a store attendant, Castiel began looking at the DVDs and decided to get Dean a few movies to add to his collection. It was hard to actually pick out a movie since he practically owned so many movies but luckily Castiel memorized all of his collection so that he could pick out what they’d watch for the night. Most of the movies he picked out to buy were westerns that starred _Clint Eastwood, Val Kilmer, and James Stewart_ , and other DVDs he figured would suit his new friend’s tastes.

“Shopping for Dean again?” Charlie asked, peeking over his side so she could see what he’d picked.

“Is it that obvious?” He turned to look at her. “I figured he would like these.” Castiel lowered his head, feeling embarrassed in case she would criticize him.

“How’d you know he liked _Clint Eastwood_? Has he been making you watch those westerns with him? He used to watch all of his TV shows whenever they were on.” Charlie gave a fond smile as she patted Castiel’s shoulder. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”

“Thank you, Charlie.” His embarrassment quickly shifted to nervousness.

Charlie gave a firm nod before beaming up at him, “Let’s go get some food. I can actually use something to eat.” She began to push the cart after Castiel loaded the DVDs inside. 

Once they were finished with checkout, Castiel and Charlie went to a dine-in restaurant where they sat and talked. He listened to Charlie babble about Dorothy and what they’re supposed to be doing for their next date and how she wants to be prepared for that special moment. He also managed to order a lunch special to go so he could take it back home so Dean would have something to eat in case he hadn’t cooked anything to eat. 

***

The sun peeked through the dark curtains, causing a small beam to land directly upon Dean’s eye. A soft groan rumbled within his chest as he rolled over to avoid the sun but he wound up landing face first within a larger beam. Out of frustration, Dean threw his blankets off towards the side and turned to glare at the clock. It was one in the afternoon. _At least I got some sleep this time_. A shower was in order and then hopefully breakfast. He couldn’t help but run his fingers through his hair as he thought over what to make. Then again he did have a taste for pancakes. _Maybe Cas wouldn’t mind going out for breakfast_.

“It’s not like he eats anyways…” Dean muttered, answering his own thoughts as he walked into the bathroom to get the water started.

After a nice, warm shower, Dean was dressed and ready to eat. He headed downstairs to the kitchen and glanced around in surprise when he noticed how clean everything was. He remembered last night and there were dishes in the sink after leaving for work and heading to bed without his usual routine of cleaning the kitchen. Dean muttered to himself as he looked around and took out what he needed to make for coffee. He made sure to add extra scoops of coffee to make it stronger than usual since he still felt as if he just couldn’t get enough energy.

When the coffee was finished, he was surprised to see that Castiel hadn’t come downstairs with the same doe eyed expression that he couldn’t help but to find adorable. He was certain the Angel was still around until he heard the front door rattle and open, bringing in a laughing Charlie and a soft smiling Castiel. Dean’s head tilted as he brought up a cup of coffee to his lips and took a slow sip. 

“Dean!” Charlie shrieked as she set her bags on the loveseat in the living room. “I see you’re awake, Mr. Grumpy Bear. Good, because I’ve got so much to tell you!” She bypassed him, heading for the coffee pot to fix herself a drink.

“Hey, Cas. Charlie.” Dean greeted after swallowing a mouthful of coffee.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel stood awkwardly with his bags in hand before setting them on the floor next to the loveseat as well. He then made his way into the kitchen and took a seat at the breakfast bar, his eyes trained on Dean before looking down at the bag that he placed on the counter for Dean. “I brought you breakfast.”

“Since when did you two become all buddy, buddy?” Dean’s brows rose in suspicion. Dean perked up at the mention of food and reached for the bag when Castiel handed it over to him. Dean took the container out of the bag and opened it. Saliva pooled on his tongue as he stared down at the pancakes and extra bacon, “Hello, beautiful.” He smiled as he took a piece of bacon and broke off a piece then popped it into his mouth. "Thanks, Cas."

Castiel just nodded, "You're welcome, Dean."

“Oh, you were upstairs sleep and I wanted someone to go to the store with me. Cas offered to go so I wouldn’t bug you.” Charlie shrugged nonchalantly as she took a sip of her coffee.

Dean let out a soft laugh before meeting Castiel’s gaze and mouthed _Thank you_. “Did y’all have fun? ... Oh, Charlie, how are things going with Gilda? I was meaning to ask you about her but work's been tough the last few days.” Dean reached into the utensils drawer and took out a knife and fork so that he could start eating his pancakes after pouring syrup on them.

“We kind of broke up but I did meet someone else and I’ve been dating her for a few days now. She’s a-ma-zing! Dean, I think she may be the one.” She fanned herself like she did in the car earlier while fluttering her eyelashes. 

“Oh yeah? You gonna bring her around for Thanksgiving this year?” Dean gave a soft smile around his cup of coffee.

“I think so. If she’s up for it and we have more than three dates. I really hope she’s the one, Dean.” Castiel turned towards Charlie when she gripped at his shoulder, “Show Dean what you bought.”

Castiel’s eyes widened as a wave of embarrassment flooded his nerves. Why did he have to buy any of those gifts? Why did he have to buy the lingerie at all? What was his purpose in doing so? He swallowed and sat stiffly in his seat. It was as if he was unable to bring himself to move even a small inch to grab the bags he left in the living room.

“Is it some sort of prank? Because y’know I’m the master of pranks. Remember what happened on April Fools Day?” Dean smirked while lowering his cup of coffee onto the surface. Dean let out a soft snort when he noticed Charlie glaring at him.

“I’m not good at pranks. Uriel was the Angel for that. He was the funniest Angel in the Garrison.” Castiel’s eyes flashed from Charlie to Dean then back down to his folded hands. It was now or never. With a deep breath, Castiel lifted from his seat and went to retrieve the bags that he knew was for Dean. Why was giving Dean any sort of gift making him so nervous? Maybe because he knew that one of the gifts were considered a joke. His hands trembled as he lifted the bags and walked back into the kitchen and sat down beside Charlie once again then slid the bags towards Dean.

Dean’s expression became baffled at the name. He honestly wasn’t familiar with Angels and he didn’t even remember Castiel telling him about said Angel. When Castiel sat the different colored bags down in front of him, Dean couldn’t help but compare the small ocean blue colored gift bag to Castiel’s eyes. Of course he would never say anything about it out loud. Why was he so fixated on those eyes? So instead, he shook his head clear of all thoughts and focused on opening the bag. 

“Holy shit…” Dean muttered as he pulled out a long, slender box and opened it. “Cas, you got this for me? How did you- Charlie did you tell him I liked this kind of stuff?”

Charlie quickly shook her head, her red hair flailing over her shoulders, “No, he picked it out on his own.”

Castiel’s heart hammered within his chest. He never realized he could actually get so nervous before.

Dean stared at Castiel in amazement as he slowly sat the bracelet onto the counter. He reached into the bag again, only to pull out another box with a bracelet. His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked between Charlie and Castiel again but frowned when Charlie shook her head and pointed at the Angel. The next one Dean pulled out was a smaller box with a silver band ring. Wariness filled Dean’s mind. He couldn’t believe Castiel just knew what kind of jewelry to get him.

“Cas.” Dean began as he stared down at the small boxes he’d spread out. “How did- Thank you.” Before he could register what he was doing, he’d walked around the corner of the breakfast bar and wrapped his arms around Castiel’s shoulder in a tight embrace.

The Angel’s body went stiff for a moment before relaxing against Dean’s chest and listened to the fluttering of his heart. He then lifted his arms and wrapped them around Dean’s waist, relishing the feel of the other’s embrace. Part of him wanted to cling on to this man for the rest of his life yet the other part of him still felt as if he were crossing a line and betraying his hunter.

A clap on Castiel’s back was the last contact he received before Dean rose and leaned against the counter. The space between them was barely noticeable when Charlie looked between the two then gave a knowing smile.

“There’s more, Dean.” Castiel’s voice trembled in nervousness.

When Dean walked around the counter and took the green gift bag and pulled out _The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly_ , his pulse began to echo within his ears. Castiel remembered the movie they’d watched the first time they’d actually bonded. Dean took a deep breath and reached inside and pulled out _Winchester ’73_ and _Tombstone_. A soft chuckle emitted from his throat as he held up the movies and gave a bright smile at the Angel. Inside the bag, he was able to see a DVD box collection of _The Three Stooges_.

“Honestly, Cas, I love ‘em.” Dean reached over the breakfast bar and rested his hand against Castiel’s shoulder, gave a soft pat, and then placed the DVDs back onto the counter. "Thank you, man."

“I’m glad you do.” Castiel nodded, a sincere smile spreading across his lips.

“You got one more, Dean.” Charlie grinned, nudging the small black bag at him

Dean’s eyebrows drew together, giving him a skeptical expression as he took the bag and moved the gift tissue aside and pulled out the pair of laced panties. Dean held up the lacy material and stared between Castiel and Charlie before spreading them out. His eyes focused on the hole that was on the back. The thought of Castiel wearing the lacy panties flashed through his mind. He pictured Castiel in the laced panties, bent over the kitchen counter with his cock deep within the Angel. He then glanced up at Castiel, an intense heat traveling up the back of his neck and down to his groin. Dean quickly schooled his features into a neutral expression as he stared at the two sitting across from him.

Dean met Castiel’s gaze as he held up the lace panties, “Cas? I didn’t know you were into this sort of thing. Kinky, huh?” Dean’s lips curved into a smirk at the faint blush that began to paint Castiel’s cheeks. _The blush looks good on him. He looks so cute._ He could also see that the Angel was breathing through his nose again. His head whipped to the side when he heard Charlie burst out into a fit of giggles. “ Son of a bi- I knew it.”

“Oh, Dean! I told him you’d find it funny so I told him to get them.” Charlie’s eyes were wet with tears, “I’ll take them though.”

“Whoa, no, wait… I’ll, uh, I'll keep them.” Dean muttered as he moved the lace out of Charlie’s reach and then placed the underwear back into the black bag. He then cleaned up the gifts and carried everything into the living room to put up the DVDs.

***

Later that afternoon, Dean and Castiel sat on the smaller part of the sectional while Charlie was spread out on the loveseat. Dean sat closer to Castiel, their shoulders brushing against each other whenever they shifted in their seats. The living room had the wonderful smell of pizza wafting around in the air. Dean ate another slice of meat lovers pizza while Charlie dug into her pepperoni. _The Hobbit_ played on the large TV above the mantel and every now and then Charlie would mouth the words to her favorite scenes. During one of their breaks, Castiel went into the kitchen and took out a pack of chili lime flavored beef jerky to give to Dean after the break was finished. 

During the evening, they were able to finish off two more movies. Once it was past midnight, Charlie decided it was time for her to go home so that she could call her girlfriend. Even though Dean had offered her the guest room, she objected and said she wanted to get home so she could prepare for her next date with Dorothy. Of course Dean didn’t bother her on the subject. He and Castiel told her _good night_ and then it was time for Dean to head to bed. Yet, Dean couldn’t bring himself to actually go upstairs to his room so he continued to sit on the couch with Castiel after the television was switched to cartoons.

Castiel tensed when he noticed that Dean wasn’t going to bed anytime soon. He wasn’t sure what to expect after this afternoon. He kept getting mixed emotional readings from Dean and that made him nervous. Even though the younger male said that he was happy with Castiel’s gifts, there was still some doubt that lingered within his mind.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean started, rubbing his hands together nervously. When Castiel looked over at him, his heart began to beat heavily within his chest. “I really appreciate the gifts earlier, man. It was really thoughtful. You even got one of my favorite _Clint Eastwood_ movies. It’s the nicest thing someone’s ever done for me since Sam threw me that surprise birthday party when I turned 27.” He couldn’t help but smile at the fond memory.

Castiel let out a small sigh of relief as he listened to Dean’s words. “I’m glad you loved them, Dean. It was no trouble, really.”

“Are you kidding me, Cas? I haven’t seen these in a long time. We’re gonna have a marathon of binge watching these. That cool with you?” Dean smiled when Castiel nodded his head. “Oh, Cas! Thank you for reminding me… I got something for you too.” Castiel’s eyes widened as Dean got up from the couch and sprinted up the stairs two at a time. 

Castiel lowered his head and let a soft breath pass his lips. He could no longer focus on the television. He began to wonder what exactly that it was that Dean had gotten him. He didn’t even know that Dean had bought him a gift or that he even cared enough to do so. When he heard Dean running down the stairs and walk back over to the couch, his breath hitched. A blue and green reflective bag was placed beside Castiel. Dean followed suit, jumping over the back of the couch and took his place against the cushions.

Castiel’s shoulders slumped as he looked at the bag. Dean had actually gotten him a gift. Throughout most of their time together, he hadn’t even seen Dean leave the house. Then again, Dean could have gotten it whenever he was on his way home from work or while he was out by himself. Green eyes stared at him in earnest as Castiel continued to stare at the bag before taking it and opened it. He moved the blue paper aside, a gasp escaping his lips as he pulled out a brand new tan trench coat. Castiel ran his fingers over the soft fabrics in a transfixed manner.

“Dean,” Castiel’s voice trembled, “When did you get this?” He swallowed the lump that began to form within his throat. This was the only other gift he’d ever received aside from the mixtape.

Dean cleared his throat, "I got it when we went shopping for you some clothes." Dean chuckled nervously, “I figured it would be better than just having one coat. This one even has buttons and a belt. Perfect for winter.” Dean beamed up at him. An unexpected grunt pushed out of his lungs when Castiel lunged forward and engulfed Dean within a bone-crushing hug, causing both of them to topple over with Castiel on top of Dean.

Dean’s eyes widened when his breath was literally knocked out of him. For a little nerdy dude with wings, Castiel’s actually very strong. Dean gasped for air, his hand coming to rest against the Angel’s back as he continued to cling onto Dean. After a few more seconds, Castiel finally let go and rose up, his hands coming to rest in his lap.

“Thank you, Dean. I really appreciate it.” Castiel glanced over to gauge Dean’s reaction. He could hear Dean’s heart fluttering as he managed to catch his breath. “I’m sorry, Dean. I’ve made you feel awkward.” Castiel’s eyes glanced downward as he scooted over to give Dean a little space.

Sluggishly, Dean rose from his spot, his heartbeat sounded off in his ears as he tried to catch his breath. He swallowed, his tongue darting out to rest against his the corner of his lip. “You, uh, you’re welcome, Cas.” Dean cleared his throat, giving a slight shake of his head, “I wasn’t expecting you to be so strong.” He chuckled softly as he adjusted his spot on the couch.

Castiel nodded, giving a soft yet shy laugh, his eyes darting up to meet a pool of green abyss. Those eyes were enough to make his heart flutter within his chest and a pinkish glow appear on his cheeks. Dean let out a puff of air before rubbing his palms against his knees.

“I, uh, think, I think I’m gonna go, uh, head to-” Dean stammered, his brain functions were now beginning to fail him with each word he tried to force out of his mouth.

“Dean?” Castiel was afraid that he’d actually crossed the line by hugging the man next to him.

Dean’s eyes narrowed as he tried to process the jumbled mess that was his thoughts before swallowing, “I’m glad you love the coat. Mind trying it on?” _What the hell are you thinking, Dean?_ “I want to make sure it fits.” _Yeah, you’re real smooth. Idiot._

Castiel looked down at the coat for a moment then stood up and slid his arms into the sleeves. He couldn’t help but notice that the coat even had fragments of Dean’s cologne on it and that made him not want to take it off.

“It looks good on you.” Dean’s voice broke through Castiel’s thoughts. “I like it.” _A lot. But I’d rather see you in my clothes or nothing at all._ “Maybe we can put your original up or something.”

Castiel glanced over at his beloved trench coat that was hanging up next to Dean’s flannel jacket then looked down at his new coat. At least he didn’t have to throw it away but then again he was now exploring a new chapter in his life. He nodded towards Dean; giving him a shy smile then lowered his head as he shrugged off the coat.

“Hey, uh, Cas, I’m gonna … gonna, uh, head on to bed, okay? I, uh, I’ll see you in the morning.” Dean stood up slowly, testing out his motor skills since he still couldn’t get his mouth to create coherent sentences.

“Good night, Dean.” Castiel said while shrugging out of his coat.

“Night, Cas.” Dean’s eyebrows drew together as his teeth clenched tightly. He swiftly made his way upstairs and locked the door behind him once he was in his room.

Dean sighed, relaxing finally once he felt somewhat safe in his room and out of Castiel’s proximity. He shook his head as he turned on the light and began to undress. He tossed his clothes into the laundry basket that was in his closet and walked into the bathroom then turned on the lights. It felt as if he needed a shower to clear his thoughts. Dean leaned against the counter for a moment, his fingers gripping tightly against the edge of the sink. Pushing away, he went to turn on the water for the shower and stepped inside before the water even got hot.

The cold water felt wonderful against his skin though it wasn’t enough to cool the fire he felt in his veins. Dean took a shuddering breath as he leaned forward, letting the water run down his head and over his back. Once the water was hot enough, Dean reached for the soap so that he could wash over his body. He made sure to keep his mind blank, thinking of things that wouldn’t arouse him so that he wouldn’t risk thinking about the Angel. 

After the shower, Dean slipped on a pair of pajama pants, turned off the lights in the room, and climbed into the covers so that he could fall asleep.

***

When 2AM came around, Castiel finally made his way upstairs and went into his room to pretend to sleep. He hadn’t Dream Walked in a while, mainly because of the pain he’d experience whenever he tried. When he was able to Dream Walk, Castiel would try to spend as much time with Dean as he could because he knew that he’d probably never see him again. The last time they’d spoke, Dean told him about how they had captured a demon and was trying to get answers that would be beneficial. So far they had come up short. Castiel understood because this was something that was hard to figure out. 

Castiel kept his eyes closed even though he didn’t require sleep. After an hour passed, he was able to sense a wave of distress. He sat up slowly and stared at the door for a short while. He’d known that Dean was having trouble sleeping and it made him feel sad to know that he couldn’t really do anything about the situation. He wanted to make Dean feel better. He could sense that the nightmares were bad because of the misery he could sense from down the hall.

After a moment of hesitation, Castiel climbed from beneath the blankets and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He crept down the hall and opened Dean’s room door then closed it behind him. Castiel made sure to stay silent because he didn’t want Dean to pull his gun out and actually shoot him without thinking clearly. Being this close to Dean made it easier for him to sense the fear and misery radiating from Dean even in his sleep.

Castiel tilted his head he heard a soft mumble coming from Dean. He couldn’t help but to take in the distressed expression on Dean’s sleeping face. His eyebrows were scrunched together, his lips were moving as if he was speaking, and his eyes were moving beneath his eyelids. _This must be a bad nightmare._ They were beginning to become a regular occurrence whenever Dean was asleep. As he gazed at Dean’s sleeping face, he began to remember the other times he’d popped in on the hunter and just watched him sleep. He too had nightmares but Castiel had promised not to look inside of his mind to see what was troubling him.

When he was beginning to feel the anguish and anger coming from Dean’s heart, he decided to throw his reasoning on why he shouldn’t pry out of the window. Maybe those rules don’t apply anymore? Castiel placed a delicate touch to the side of Dean’s face and closed his eyes so that he was able to focus on peeking inside of his friend’s mind.

***

_Dean – Apartment: Living Room – Indiana_

_Sam and Dean were sitting on the couch, both reading books that were assigned to them as homework. Dean was reading through_ Slaughterhouse-Five _on paperback. He was required to read the first three chapters so that he was able to catch up and start the assignment that was already past due. It was his last chance to try making up his grades otherwise he would have to stay in the same grade and that was something Dean didn’t want to happen. Sam was working on a literature packet for Hamlet. His English class was going to be working on a play after they completed the packet._

_Dean let out a frustrated groan, “Dude, this narrator is giving me a headache.” He snorted as he lowered the book into his lap._

_“What book is that, anyways?” Sam asked, turning away from his homework._

_“_ Vonnegut. Slaughterhouse-Five. _” He answered while rubbing at his forehead. “I mean, I know reading ain’t my kind of thing but I actually kind of like it.” He chuckled softly while looking down at the pages again._

_Sam snorted, “See, if you actually applied yourself instead of making a joke out of everything, you’d see that there are things even you’ll like.”_

_“Shut up, Sam.” Dean retorted as he continued to read._

_As both boys continued to read, they were able to hear the rumble of the Impala pulling into the apartment complex parking lot. The purr of the car made Dean bristle in his seat. Sam continued to work on his assignment while Dean tried to focus on his book. When the doorknob rattled, Dean’s fingers clenched around his book as he kept his head down to read how the Germans captured Billy in 1944. Part of him wanted to hide in his room but he knew that he had to keep an eye on Sam to finish his homework._

_The heavy stench of tequila and whiskey filled the room as the door opened, followed by a disheveled John Winchester. John removed his leather jacket, hung it near the door, and then removed his boots. The click of his boots seemed to echo within Dean's ears. When finished, he took a seat in a tattered recliner and stared between his sons. His eyes then narrowed as he focused on what was in Dean’s hands. Within the corner of his eye, Dean was able to see the frown on his lips. That was never a good sign._

_“Whatcha readin’ over there, boy?” The sound of John’s voice nearly made Dean flinch but he knew better than to show weakness. Though it was never his intention to show fear. Showing fear only made it worse._

_Dean inhaled slowly, his eyes focusing on his book again. “_ Slaughterhouse-Five _.” He answered, his voice clear._

_John nodded. “So, my boy is reading some faggot book.”_

_Dean scoffed, keeping his head down even though he was no longer reading. “It’s not some faggot book… It’s literature homework for class.”_

_“Since when do you care about doing homework? You’ve never cared about school before. So, why do you care now? You’ve always failed. That’s what you do, Dean.” Dean grimaced as his father spoke. “Reading some faggot book ain’t gonna help you, boy.”_

_Dean frowned, closing his book and setting it next to him on the couch. “It’s not some faggot book, okay?! It’s actually really good. And maybe I want to pass my classes this time. Set a better example for Sam.” Hearing his father’s words hurt but he wasn’t going to cry._

_Sam frowned, keeping his head down as he continued to read through his script for class._

_The haggard chair creaked when John stood up and walked into the kitchen to grab a beer out of the refrigerator. He cracked open the bottle and tossed the cap onto the counter then turned the bottle up to his lips. After swallowing a mouthful of beer, he went back into the living room, sat the bottle down on the edge of the coffee table, and then snatched the book from the couch before Dean could grab it._

_“_ Vonnegut. _” John sneered, waving the book around before flipping through the pages. “You honestly think I want my son reading some faggot book? I didn’t raise you to be no faggot, boy.” The room filled with the sound of paper being shredded._

_Dean jumped up from his seat. “What are you doing?! That’s not mine! It belongs to the school.” He quickly reached for the book, only to be elbowed back onto the couch._

_With a grunt, he shifted on the couch as if trying to move away from John, his gaze never faltering from his father._

_“You mind your tone with me, boy. You don’t talk back to me. You understand?” A grave expression fell on John’s face as he tossed the torn page onto the ground. “Reading shit like this, Dean, it doesn’t suit you. You think I want a faggot for a son?!” Another page was torn from the book and thrown in the air._

_Cautiously, Dean pushed himself up from his spot and held out his hand. “Can I have my book back, sir?” His voice was hard, trying to conceal his emotions. “I need it for class.”_

_“Oh, you mean this book? This book right here?” He waved the book in Dean’s face in a taunting manner. “You think you’re so tough, huh? Just wait until you’re older. Being somebody’s bitch, grabbing ankles in the back of an alley for some truck driver.” John snorted, ripping another page from the book and throwing it in the air just like the last. “Who would have thought, huh? My son’s gonna grow up to be a queer. Next, you’re going to be taking it up the ass like some little bitch boy.” His eyes narrowed as he stared down at his son. “Is that what you want, boy? To be someone’s little butt bitch all your life?” John looked at the cover of the book before using it to slapping Dean across the head with it when he didn’t answer. “You answer me when I’m talkin’ to you, boy!”_

_Dean’s teeth clenched beneath his jaws as he lunged forward, shoving his father back. “That’s not true! You can’t become gay just by reading a damn book, you dick!”_

_Without hesitation, John used the book to slap Dean across the face. Dean’s head jerked to the side, the sting evident within his cheek. John administered another blow; his fist closed around the book as he punched Dean in the chest and knocked Dean back against the couch. Dean coughed, reaching to clutch at his chest. Dean gasped, trying to catch his breath as his pulse rushed within his ears._

_“Sam, go to your room.” John ordered, trying to level his voice._

_From the corner of his eye, Sam could see Dean on the couch. He hated leaving his brother in violent situations, especially whenever their father was drunk. He slowly closed his book, making sure to keep the title covered so that his father couldn’t see it. Sam began to shove his homework into his backpack, being careful not to wrinkle his work. When he was sure that his father wasn’t looking, he picked up the page that was torn from the book that Dean had and shoved it into his backpack as well._

_“Sam, I said go to your room.” John reiterated, his voice hard when he noticed Sam continued to stay in his spot._

_“Sam… Go to your room.” Dean ordered this time, voice leveled and calm while keeping his attention on his father._

_Instantly, Sam rose from his spot on the floor and went to his and Dean’s bedroom and then closed the door, locking it behind him._

_John frowned, grabbing Dean by his collar and hauling him up to his feet. “You trying to take my son away from me now, boy? I don’t want you corrupting him with this gay bullshit you been bringing into my house.” He shook Dean, jerking him harshly before hurling him over the coffee table._

_The weakened table crumbled when impacted with Dean’s weight. The beer bottle toppled over, spilling over Dean’s clothes. Groaning softly, Dean rolled over onto his side and tried to push himself up, only to be kicked in the ribs, and forced back down with John’s foot on his back. Dean grunted before clearing his throat to even his voice, “You’re drunk, dad. Why don’t you go to bed early, okay? I’ll watch over Sam.”_

_“Oh, I’m not drunk enough to know that my boy is going to be somebody’s faggot bitch.” He paused, looking down at his son. “How could you do this to me? Us? What would your mother think?” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You think she’d be proud that you were headed down the road to becoming someone’s bitch?"_

_“I’m not gay, dad. You know that. You’re drunk, okay. You need to go to sleep.” Dean’s voice trembled as he spoke._

_Dean tried not to flinch when he heard his father take a step back. Showing any sort of fear would only made it worse. He would be considered weak whenever John was having some sort of drunken tirade. As he stayed on the floor, the pain from his injuries began to sink in. Honestly, he just wanted this to be over… He wanted to sleep the rest of the night away and hopefully never have to relive it._

_“This is what happens when you bring this bullshit into my house, Dean.” John tore out another page from the book before throwing it in the garbage can. “I won’t have any faggots in my house, boy. Don’t you dare embarrass me boy, you understand?”_

_When John went into his bedroom, Dean sighed out in relief. He was able to feel the sting of tears but he’d gone so long without shedding tears, he didn’t want to start now. Silently, Dean rose from the floor, dusted himself off, and went to knock on his bedroom door. When Sam finally opened the door, Dean walked past him without saying a word and fell onto his bed. The last thing he remembered was feeling Sam’s hand rubbing along his back._

***

Castiel gasped as he pulled his hand away from his Dean’s face. All while being stuck within this universe, he had the impression that it was the perfect Winchester universe. He’d always thought that this was the perfect world where Dean and Sam got what they wanted, along with a perfect family. Of course Dean never spoke about his parents to Castiel and now he understood why. He could see that this world wasn’t perfect and even though their lives were filled with traumatic experiences, Sam and Dean continued to make a better life for themselves.

He remembered the stories that his hunter had told him about his father. About how he was always tough but he also happened to favor Sam more as well. That seemed to be the case in this situation as well. There were many similarities between the two but this one seemed more violent but then again he never really had the chance to meet John. This John seemed to take his anger out directly on Dean while the other that he knew of seemed to make Dean train hard without much concern for his wellbeing. 

Unconsciously, Castiel glided his fingers through Dean’s hair, trying to ease away the stressful look that was now on his face. He couldn’t help but to smile when he felt Dean tilt his head into his palm when he rested it against Dean’s cheek. Castiel tensed when Dean reached up to grasp onto his wrist to hold his hand against his cheek. _Why would Dean dream of something like that?_ Castiel tried to retract his hand from Dean’s grasp but Dean tightened his grip before his fingers went slack. Castiel let out a quiet breath, trying not to make much noise because he knew that Dean wouldn’t hesitate to pull his gun out on him. 

Castiel pried himself from Dean’s grasp, took a quiet step back from the bed, and made his way downstairs into the kitchen. Castiel took a seat at his favorite stool and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. How would Dean react if he found out that Castiel took a peek inside of his mind? The hunter always told him that it was creepy whenever he tried to do things like that before but somehow this was different. He was simply curious and wanted to try and stop Dean’s nightmares from happening. _Maybe I can talk to him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave Kudos and Comments. I enjoy everyone's feedback! Thank y'all.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I apologize in advance because yeah, I'm a very lengthy writer  
> and I promise smut is coming up. I've had the chapters pre-written before rewriting them to fit  
> in my image.


	5. Fuck The Pain Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** Warning ***
> 
> There is a death scene. 
> 
> Read through it for a treat.
> 
> Ready?

**September 8th, 2009**

Castiel paced around the kitchen as the coffee brewed and the sink filled with water. If he knew how to cook, he’d make Dean a special breakfast because he knew that Dean was usually grumpy after having a nightmare. When the water was close to overrunning in the sink, he turned off the faucet and leaned forward against the counter. His mind was clouded with the nightmare he had witnessed. Maybe he could speak with Dean about it, to help him get it off of his chest, and possibly help him feel better. Castiel reached for his favorite mug and poured himself a cup of coffee then added the hazelnut flavoring to it. It seemed to be a new flavor he was beginning to taken an interest in.

With his cup of coffee, Castiel sat at his favorite stool at the breakfast bar and nursed his drink. As he sat quietly, he failed to sense Dean approaching and flinched when he heard Dean grabbing a mug and pouring himself a cup of coffee. It was still too early in the morning for Dean to be up and Castiel figured that Dean’s nightmare scared him enough to wake up. Castiel was able to hear Dean’s grumbling but each word seemed to be incoherent, even for the Angel. Maybe he was angry about it? Castiel took another sip of his coffee, his eyes never leaving Dean’s sluggish movements until he leaned against the counter and took a long gulp of coffee.

Dean shook his head slightly when the warmth of the coffee slid down his throat. Sadly, it wasn’t enough to ward off the bad thoughts that kept circling around in his head. After another swallow, Dean let out a low groan of annoyance and placed the mug onto the counter. His gaze shifted over to the cabinet that held his best whiskey. His father’s words kept ringing around in his head and he honestly wanted to drown them out. So, he reached into the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of _Jack Daniels_ , along with a double shot glass and poured himself a drink. Dean brought the glass to his lips and tossed the liquor back, ignoring the burn that made its way down. He blinked a few times, clearing the slight haze before looking over at Castiel. 

Dean poured himself another double shot and downed it just as quick as the first one. “I had the strangest dream last night.” Dean mumbled, getting Castiel’s attention. 

The scent of the alcohol flooded Castiel’s senses when he looked up to see meet Dean’s gaze. “Oh yeah? What were you dreaming about?” Castiel kept his voice leveled even though he knew what was in Dean’s nightmares. _This can’t be good._ He didn’t like the idea of Dean drinking in the middle of the morning.

Dean splayed his fingers over the countertop, “I, uh, … dreamt that you were in my room and you were standing over me. It was, uh, it felt real. Were you in my room last night, Cas?” Dean’s eyebrows drew together when he thought about the warmth, protection, and adoration he felt when he was asleep.

Castiel tensed in his seat as his hands gripped the mug to keep from trembling before turning around so that he was facing Dean. “You were having a nightmare and I was able to sense your distress from my room so I,” Castiel frowned slightly when he saw the perplexed expression on Dean’s face “I went into your room to see if there was anything I could do. You looked so stressed in your sleep and I wanted to see why you were so angry so I looked inside of your mind.” His hands quickly shot up in a placating manner at the incredulous expression on Dean’s face.

A frown set on Dean’s lips as his jaw set and his eyebrows drew together in anger, “What the fuck, Cas! You Vulcan mind melded me? Cas, you know that’s an invasion of privacy. And plain creepy.” Dean’s eyebrows drew together in frustration. “Who the hell gave you the right to … I dunno, peek through my dreams?” Dean pressed his lips together until they formed a thin line, causing his dimples to appear, “What’d you see, anyways?”

Shame flooded Castiel’s veins as he lowered his head. “I’m sorry, Dean.” He glanced over so that he could gaze into Dean’s eyes. “I feel regret. You were having a nightmare and I wanted to make sure that you were okay. I peeked inside of your mind because I wanted to see why you were so upset.” His shoulder’s slumped dejectedly. “I saw you and your father fighting because he was drunk. And he was using homophobic slurs against you.”

Dean scratched at the back of his head as he broke Castiel’s steady gaze and glared at the floor. “Right.”

As they sat there in silence, Castiel wasn’t sure what to make of the situation. He continued to receive mixed emotions – bewilderment, embarrassment, and slight frustration – from Dean. He was beginning to wonder how he was going to get out of this situation. “Dean, I apologize for eavesdropping on you private thoughts. I just wanted to help. I figured maybe you would want to talk about it instead of keeping it to yourself.” Castiel’s blue eyes glistened, begging for Dean to not be angry, “Please don’t be angry with me. I promise that I will mak-”

Dean held up his hand in a silencing manner, cutting of the Angel’s apology. His eyes narrowed slightly in a mix of frustration and bemusement. “Cas,” He took a steady breath to gather his thoughts. This wasn’t the type of conversation he wanted to have at 4:23 AM. “I don’t want to hear your apologies, okay? You can’t just decide to snoop in someone’s mind because you’re sensing their stress.” Dean grabbed the liquor bottle and poured himself another double shot, filling the glass to the rim. “Dude, that’s seriously not okay.” His features settled on something close to annoyed yet serious. “We gotta set some sort of ground rules or something because I can’t have you poking around in my head. That shit’s personal, Cas.” He added when he noticed the remorseful look flashing across Castiel’s features.

Castiel kept his gaze in Dean, searching hi’s face for any sign of hostility or resentment. “I just thought I could help. I won’t do it again.” When Dean nodded, Castiel looked down at his bare feet. He could tell that Dean didn’t believe him. The irritation that was radiating off of Dean was unpleasant. He also knew that Dean probably lost some of his trust in him but Castiel just wanted to watch out for him. “Dean, please don’t be angry with me.”

The tip of Dean’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip as he took a deep breath through his nose. “I dunno, Cas. That’s… This whole thing,” Dean groaned in frustration, “I’m gonna need time.” He ran his hands over his face, massaging into his stubbled cheeks. “I - pft - wow. What a fucked up situation this is.” Dean huffed out a breath, his cheeks puffing up slightly as he pushed away from the counter and began to pace the length of the kitchen.

The Angel studied Dean the same way he did when they’d first met – with such intensity that it made Dean fidget in his spot from a sense of uneasiness. 

Dean stopped his pacing, his eyes narrowing just slightly, “I swear when you do that, I feel like you’re looking at my soul.” The skin between his eyebrows wrinkled as his eyes narrowed further in suspicion. “Wait, are you?” Dean’s eyes widened as the thought began to settle within his gut.

Feeling exposed, Castiel quickly averted his gaze off towards the side. “I’ve made you uncomfortable.” Castiel sighed dejectedly. 

“Huh…” Dean muttered, noticing the Angel’s discomfort. “Oh, yeah, you did but not as uncomfortable finding out you pretty much Vulcan mind melded me in my sleep and saw some pretty private shit.” Green hues glanced over to meet a sea of blue. “You’re an Angel. I’m pretty sure you can sense that.” Dean muttered sarcastically as he tilted his head back, his lips parting as he made a slight groan of frustration. “You could’ve just asked instead of snooping around in my head, y’know that right? The stuff I have in my head is pretty private.”

Castiel placed his hands in his lap, twiddling his fingers together as he weighed out this entire conversation. He could sense that Dean was angry with him. The trust Dean had in him would probably falter and they probably wouldn’t be the same anymore. Now all what was left was to see if Dean would accept his apology. “I was only trying to help. I thought that maybe I could be able to help ease what was making you so stressed out. It felt like the right thing to do.” He laced his fingers together. “After seeing your dream, I thought there was something that was possibly haunting you and I just wanted to ease the situation. Or if you wanted to talk about it, I would have listened.”

“It wasn’t.” The corner of Dean’s mouth twitched. “And I don't need a God damn therapist, alright?” He crossed his arms over his chest, his fingers tapping against his biceps in agitation. “You didn’t trust me enough to ask to see if I’d tell you on my own. Instead you spy because you were able to _sense my emotions_. That’s what nightmares are, Cas.” Dean slowly nodded as if the thought finally became clear.

An apprehensive feeling made its way into the pit of Castiel’s stomach. They stayed silent for a few minutes before Castiel worked up the courage to speak again. “Dean, I’m _sorry_.”

“Yeah... I heard you the first few times.” 

When Dean left the kitchen, Castiel slumped against the counter, resting his chin on his hands and staring at the back wall with a vacant expression. It took him a while before he decided to actually get off of the stool to make his way upstairs to shower and put on clothes for the day.

The atmosphere was thick with agitation when Castiel entered his bedroom. Even with the distance between them, it felt as if Dean was standing next to him. He could feel the distrust and irritation from down the hall. For some odd reason this was beginning to feel like a case of déjà vu. He swallowed the lump that was forming within his throat and headed for the bathroom and closed the door behind him. After his shower was finished, Castiel went to put on a pair of loose-fitted lounging pants and a graphic t-shirt that Dean had picked out for him when they had went shopping. 

Maybe Dean needed to cool off? Of course he knew that snooping around in Dean’s dreams were wrong but he couldn’t help but feel curious. He didn’t know much about this Dean's past, other than the fact that h's been a firefighter for six years and that he was engaged. Everything else about him was the same as his hunter friend. Except their pasts of course and yet they were possibly similar in some ways. _How can I make this right?_ The thought danced around in his head as he walked down the stairs and looked around.

The Angel wasn’t sure where to go. He could either sit in the kitchen again and participate in an awkward silence when Dean came out of his room or avoid him and sit in the living room. Castiel didn’t want Dean to be upset with him but when he decided to go into the kitchen and sit down at the breakfast bar. He was able to still sense the tension rolling off of Dean as he came down the stairs and cleaned the counter before taking out what he needed to make for breakfast.

After Dean was finished cooking, he sat one space away from Castiel and didn't bother to speak or even look at him. The gesture made Castiel’s heart plummet into his stomach. _This was new._ For the fact that they’d always stayed so close together whenever they were around each other was one thing Castiel had gotten used to, but this… he wasn’t even sure what to do. Occasionally, he would sneak glances at Dean from the corner of his eyes. He watched the way his jaw tightened with each bite of food, the way his Adam’s apple moved within his throat with each swallow of food or coffee, or the way his body looked amazing even in lounging clothes.

There was heavy tension in the air as Dean went to wash his dishes and headed to the front door, grabbed his keys and then walked out of the house without saying a word. Castiel practically followed him to the door but he stopped himself short when he noticed that Dean didn’t want him to. After the door was closed, Castiel stood there, staring at where Dean last stood and lowered his head. A feeling of frustration and betrayal washed over him, making it hard for him to focus, his vision blurring as he stared at the door.

***

Dean sighed, sitting inside of the cold car for a few moments to calm his nerves. He placed the key into the ignition, listened to the rumble of the car coming to live, and backed out of the driveway without even bothering to turn on the radio. Dean turned onto the main street and just decided to drive. As he turned to take an exit that he knew would take him to an open road, a strong feeling of repentance and melancholy flooded his entire body. The further he drove away from home and Castiel, the stronger the two feelings became.

There was an intense pull at his heart, urging him to turn around and go back home but he chose to ignore it. Part of Dean wanted to go back home and wrap his arms around Castiel’s waist, kiss him, and apologize for acting so irrationally but the angry side of him urged him to keep going. He needed to cool his nerves to say the least. Just being around the Angel made him agitated and the thought of him only made it worse. Dean rolled the window down so that he was able to feel the cool autumn breeze against his skin as he sped along the highway.

Being on the open road always seemed to calm his nerves, even after a nightmare that always seemed to stir up unwanted memories. Dean could keep going. He could leave the Angel back at the house and not return for the night but where would that leave him? He’d have work in the morning and he didn’t exactly know where he was headed. After a while of driving, Dean pulled into a vacant parking spot and got out of the car, shutting the squeaking door behind him. He walked along the damp grass and passed by a few trees until he reached the area he wanted to be at the most.

Dean stood still in the evening autumn with his eyes fixated on his mother’s gravestone plate. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t good at these sorts of things. This was always Sam’s department of expertise. But he couldn’t call Sam. Not with some situation like this. At least his mother couldn’t talk back to him and judge him for having mixed feelings for a male Angel. She would just be forced to sit there and listen to him complain and probably roll over in her grave at the thought of her son having these feelings.

_“How could you do this to me? Us? What would your mother think?”_ John’s words echoed within his head as the memory forced its way back into his mind. _“You think she’d be proud that you were headed down the road to becoming someone’s bitch?”_

Dean shuddered at the memory. 

“I bet you’re real disappointed in me, aren’t you? Then again, I wouldn’t know.” Dean sighed, running his fingers through his hair, mussing it up. “ You know I’m not good at this sort of thing, mom.” He pressed his lips together as his eyes shifted off towards the side, “Who would have thought, huh? Having these sinful feelings for someone that ain't even a woman. But luckily for you, I don't plan on acting on these feelings. I know how wrong it is so hopefully you don’t roll over too much.”

Dean licked over his bottom lip as he regarded his mother’s gravestone for a few more minutes.

“I don’t want to let you down. I’m sorry for having these feelings in the first place. I wish I didn’t have ‘em but I do. Being in a failing relationship with a woman who’s been gone for damn near three months yet I could have happiness back at home with someone that's probably better. But I’m scared of letting you down.” Dean scoffed before biting the inside of his cheek to keep from tearing up.

“But why? Why does the thought of me letting you down keep me from happiness?”

When the air began to drop, becoming too frigid even for him, he nodded to his mother’s gravestone and headed back to his car. As he reached for the handle on Baby’s door, a powerful sense of loneliness washed over him. Dean leaned against the car as despair began to intensify the feeling of loneliness, making it hard for Dean to breathe. Trying to catch his breath, Dean was able to compose himself enough to get into the car and started the ignition. He listened to the loud grumble of the Impala, letting it calm his nerves before putting the car in gear and made his way back onto the highway to head home.

***

The ride home seemed to take longer than it did earlier when he took the long roads to just get away. While he was out, he decided to get some Chinese food so that he’d have something to eat for the next few days when he didn’t feel like cooking. By the time he made it back home, the skies were dark and not one star was in sight. He also noticed Charlie’s car was parked in his driveway. He hummed softly in speculation, wondering what it was that could have made her come out to visit. Dean pulled the car into the driveway and killed the engine. 

Dean grabbed the bag of food and got out of the car. The cold air that whipped around him furiously, causing him to shudder and huddle his jacket closer to his body. Dean opened the front door and was greeted with warmth and a wave of relief. Charlie and Castiel were both sitting on the couch watching Star Trek: The Original Series. Just watching them sitting on the couch reminded him of a simple domesticity. Dean shoved those thoughts away, locking them in the box of ‘do not ever open’ and stored them in the back of his mind.

Dean closed the door behind him, catching the attention of both Charlie and Castiel. The blue eyes he’d grown to adore glistened with pain and relief of seeing Dean safe and back home.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel greeted, his tone held no infliction which struck a painful chord in Dean’s chest.

“Hey Dean!” Charlie chimed happily as she bounced off of the couch, “I see you brought food.” She smiled slightly before looking up to meet his gaze. “What’s wrong?”

Dean nodded his head slightly, “Hey Charlie. … Cas.” He turned away from Charlie when he felt her studying his face. “Nothin’” He muttered and walked around her so that he was able to go into the kitchen to set the food on the counter.

Charlie followed Dean into the kitchen, her hand perched on her hip, “What crawled up your butt and made you all grumpy?”

“I’m fine, Charlie. Can we just drop it?” He gritted out, his fists clenching against the countertop. 

Castiel got up from his spot on the couch and walked into the kitchen, taking up his usual seat at the breakfast bar. “Dean, I-”

Dean held up his hand, silencing the Angel, “I don’t wanna hear it. In fact, I don’t wanna hear anything else you have to say today.” Dean kept his eyes on Castiel. He managed to keep his expression neutral even though it pained him to say those words.

“Dean!” Charlie hissed, “What’s the matter with you?”

Dean pressed his lips together, ignoring the two that gaped at him in disbelief and sorrow. He reached into the bag and pulled out a box of _Wok Fried Shredded Beef_ and began eating after grabbing a fork from the cabinet drawer. He took a step back and rested his back against the counter so that he was comfortable while he ate his food. After finishing off two forkfuls of food, Dean sat the container on the counter and grabbed the double shot glass that was in the dish rack. The bottle of _Jack Daniels_ was still on the counter from this morning so he poured himself a glass and knocked it back just as quickly.

“Charlie, do you think you could drop me off at a motel for the night?” Dean heard Castiel ask.

“You can stay with me for the night.” He could hear the disappointment in her tone. 

Dean poured himself another double shot of whiskey but he only drank half. Behind him, he was able to hear shuffling around, footsteps heading upstairs, and the click of the television being turned off. A few moments later, the front door was being opened but Dean couldn’t find it in himself to turn around. _You’re just going to let him walk out that door? Dean, c’mon man! You gotta stop him. Don’t let him walk out, what happens if he doesn’t come back? Then what? You’ll be alone again until Sam comes back. Fucking coward._

Once the front door closed, Dean’s shoulders collapsed as his head dropped forward. They left without even saying goodbye. His fists trembled against the countertop as his breathing came in uneven pants. He was hyperventilating. As he stood there, it started to feel like the walls were closing in on him. _You deserved this. You let him leave._ Dean knocked back the last half of his whiskey, ignoring the burn, and tossed the glass into the sink. Dean threw his head back as a frustrated growl passed his lips. He ran Castiel away and was too cowardice to stop him.

For the rest of the night, Dean basically moved on autopilot. The house seemed empty without Castiel’s presence nearby or the sound of his voice whenever he asked questions about whatever movie Dean forced him to watch. At some point in the evening, he was able to finish his container of food and then placed the leftovers in the refrigerator. Before heading upstairs, Dean took two more swallows of whiskey straight from the bottle before putting it up in his liquor cabinet. There were dishes in the sink but he figured he’d deal with it when he came home from work. As of now, he wanted to crawl into bed and sleep his thoughts away. He was glad that he had to go to work in the morning. Otherwise, he would have drowned himself in alcohol just to forget. It’s what he used to do when he was younger. Drink away his feelings and pushed them away until it came out in rage and violence.

After a hot shower that seemed cold against his skin and crawling into a soft bed that now seemed hard as he rolled onto his side, Dean was finally able to sleep.

***

September 9th, 2009

An annoying beeping sound brought Dean out of his alcoholic haze of sleep. Dean blindly reached for his phone and turned off his alarm, bringing the room to silence once again. He tossed the covers aside and rolled over, nearly falling out of bed before putting a leg on the floor to keep him balance. He stood up, his hand reaching out to steady himself on the nightstand. There was an uncomfortable throbbing sensation behind his eyes and he knew that having a hangover wasn’t a good way to go to work. He hadn’t gone to work with a hangover since he was 23 and here he was, drinking away his feelings like he was some kid.

Cautiously, he made his way into the bathroom while using the wall for support. Since he showered last night, the only thing he needed to do was brush his teeth and take something for his hangover. After that was finished, he went into his closet and put on his uniform. Everything seemed like it was moving in slow motion. He was even feeling sluggish and he was afraid that would hinder his performance skills. With his phone, and wallet in his pocket, he made his way downstairs and looked around. 

“Right.” He muttered, realizing that he was still alone in the house.

Dean turned to look at the clock that was on the stove. 6:13AM. Sighing, Dean left out of the house after grabbing his keys and made his way to the Impala. He got in, started the ignition, and put it in drive without even waiting for the interior to warm up.

The drive to the fire station was silent. Dean didn’t even bother putting on a mixtape to ease his thoughts. All while driving, he couldn’t help but to wonder if Castiel would come back or if he’d come to the decision to stay somewhere else. Who would want to stay with someone like Dean? A hollowed laugh broke the heavy silence. Maybe Castiel would be trying to find a way back home. The Angel hadn’t mentioned leaving recently but he was sure that after Dean’s behavior, he’d be willing to go back to his own universe. Dean couldn’t blame him. 

Maybe Castiel and Charlie would come back while he was at work and clear out all of his belongings. Dean’s shoulders wilted slightly as he leaned back against the bench seat. He pulled into the parking lot and took his usual spot that was all the way at the end, away from the building. Dean got out of the car after killing the engine and took out his phone. There weren’t any messages. _Maybe I should call him. I wonder what he’s doing._

“Quit being a 14 year old girl.” He scolded himself and pocketed his phone before walking across the parking lot.

Dean stood outside for another brief moment after making it to the doors. Loud chatter was coming from inside the building. He wasn’t in the mood for conversation. Dean just wanted to do his job and go home. Maybe even watch a movie that would ease his mind and take off some of the agitation he was feeling. But he knew that wouldn’t happen. Not with the way things have been going lately. The fires that they were putting out now were getting worse and it only made Dean more anxious each time they approached the scene.

With one final breath, Dean entered the station and was overwhelmed with the scent of burnt bacon. _How the hell do you burn bacon?_ Dean rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh as he made his way towards his locker, only to be grasped by the shoulder by Battalion Chief Milton and hauled into a different direction.

“Ah, Winchester!” The Chief bellowed, startling Dean. 

“Hello, sir.” He answered cautiously. Whenever the Battalion chief was in charge, he’d always ask for Dean to do something for him, mainly because he was lazy and didn’t want to do it himself. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m glad you asked.” A wide grin spread across his face as he pulled Dean into the commanding officer’s room and closed the door behind them.  
Mr. Philips must have been out this morning. _Well that's just great._

“Have a seat.” Chief Milton ordered while walking around to have a seat on the other side of the desk. Dean immediately obeyed. “I have a request for you.” He chuckled when he saw Dean’s skeptical expression. “I know you just got back from having your leg broken and you were told to take it easy but I need you to switch to a 48-hour rotation.”

Sighing, Dean gave a slight shrug. He could say no, but that would put him in bad standing with the Battalion Chief and he certainly didn’t want that. The man could literally make his life a living hell at the station, even if Dean was credited by others to be one of the best lead firefighters they had. “You must have really missed me, huh, sir?” He chuckled softly.

Chief Milton frowned slightly, folding his hands against the top of the desk. “All right, Winchester. How about I approve your paid time off so you can spend the holiday with your brother? He comes from Stanford during the holidays, right?” Dean nodded. “I’m short one man and I know you’ve done 48-hour rotations before so I know you’ll do fine. Besides, you’ll get the 96 hours off. Which is why I’m asking you. So, how about it, Winchester?”

_Son of a bitch._ “Yeah. Uh, I just have to let someone back home know that I’ll be staying.” Even though he was still upset with Castiel or rather, Castiel was probably upset with him now; he thought that the Angel had a right to know he wouldn’t be coming home tonight.

“Of course. Go ahead and call your fiancée and let her know so she doesn’t worry. I know this was last minute and you didn’t have time to prepare.” Chief Milton booted up the computer and turned his attention on the screen. “It’s good to have you back by the way, Winchester.”

It was Dean’s turn to frown. But why was he frowning? No one at the station knew that he was having issues with his fiancée and was considering stepping out of line. No one except Andy, anyways. Nor was it any of their business for that matter. “Yeah, ‘m gonna go call.” He said, bolting up from his seat and leaving the office.

Dean quickly made his way upstairs to where his sleeping quarters were located and locked himself inside. Since he was staying the night, he might as well set up everything in his room rather than using his locker. He placed his wallet into the drawer and sat down on the bed, taking out his cellphone. He then scrolled through his call log until he saw Castiel’s number and dialed. 

The line automatically went to voicemail: _“This is Castiel. Make your voice a mail.”_

“Uh, hey, Cas. I know you’re probably still at Charlie’s but I’m gonna be doing a 48-hour rotation… Just thought I’d let you know.” _You probably don’t care._ “Let me know when you make it back to the house.” _That’s if you ever come back._ “Don’t burn my house down… Talk to you later.” _Or not._ He then ended the call and connected his phone to the charger.

Once Dean was finished organizing his room, he went to start his daily task of cleaning off the ladder truck and organizing the medical equipment. He was also tasked with making sure that all of the medical supplies were fully stocked and even contained a backup as a just in case. When he was in the process of washing off the small Squad truck, he was able to hear Chief Milton in the distance. _This can’t be good._

“Winchester!” The Chief called out. “I want you to lead the practice drills.”

Dean sighed internally at the sound of his name. _Are you fucking kidding me?_ “Really, sir? Are you sure? I mean, uh, Ross usually does it.” 

Chief Milton gave a challenging look, his eyes narrowing just slightly. “I know he does. But I asked you to do it. Practice drills, Winchester. You’re in charge. Go do that calisthenics thing you always do.” He waved his hand in a dismissive manner, signaling the end of the conversation. “Fitzgerald! Take Winchester’s place on moping the floors!”

Dean’s shoulders stiffened slightly as he made his way out of the station. He walked along the path until he was faced with what was considered his team. Luckily there were lots of people he knew so that didn’t make him feel as awkward. He also noticed volunteers and new recruits. Dean turned around, hoping to see Ross walk out of the building at any moment so that he could participate instead, but the man never showed.

“Aye, Dean!” Gallagher called out when he noticed him. “You’re doing the training today? I thought it was Ross’ job.”

“Yeah, it usually is but Chief Milton put me in charge today I guess.” Dean gave a noncommittal shrug before walking to stand in front of his team.

“Two mile run?” Dean heard another trainee call out from his left.

“Stretch first. Don’t want y’all pulling anything.” He snorted before getting into a lunging stance. “We’re going to do lunges, hold for ten seconds, and switch to the other leg.”

After their warm ups were finished, the group followed behind Dean in a two mile run along the trail that was surrounding the training facility. Dean led the trainees through pull-ups, sit-ups, and a series of squats. When they were finished with the physical exercise, they were supposed to go for tactical strategies but the 3-Alarm assignment echoed, signaling that everyone was needed.

“All right everyone, let’s hustle!” Dean hollered as they all broke out into a sprint so that they could begin putting on their Turnout gear. The first truck was already leaving out of the garage by the time they had their truck loaded with everyone.

They were officially ready to go. 3-Alarm assignments were never good.

***

When they arrived on the scene, there was a mass of people standing outside as smoke blew out of the upper level windows. They were at an office building that was in Downtown Lawrence. There were officers surrounding the building, barricading off all entrances so that they could keep all of the entries clear. When Dean’s Ladder truck came to a stop, he and Andy were the first two out. They were able to hear the frantic cries of everyone around them but they were drowned out with the sounds of sirens and the alarm of the office building. 

Dean could hear the other commanding officers giving orders to their squads while they quickly unloaded their gear and took action. 

A commanding officer that Dean didn’t recognize was standing next to Chief Milton, “We were told that an electrical technician has been called and arrived at 2:54Pm but there wasn’t anything he could do to get the elevator moving. We have paramedics on staff in case anyone goes into shock. There was a fire in one of the upper level buildings but it has been taken care of. We need to get those poor folks out of that elevator.”

Chief Milton nodded before turning to face his own crew.

“Alright, time of fire was 4:21PM. Possible standard office fire or possible break-in. Security cameras didn’t catch anything as we know of but a technical team is going to have a look. We have an emergency situation where we need a rescue team to get 13 through 15 people out of an elevator.” Chief Milton turned to look at the upper level of the building, “Winchester, I need you and Gallagher to go up to the 20th floor. The 19th floor is apparently closed off. The elevator is stuck in between the 17th and 18th floor and I need you two to get them out. I’ll be sending back up as well once I find have someone check the floor the fire was started on. Can you handle that for me?” Chief Milton asked. The challenging expression long gone from his face was now replaced with sincere seriousness.

“Yes, sir.” Dean complied.

“Report back to me if you have any sort of incident.” The Chief gave a firm nod before walking away to go speak with the other commanding officers and Battalion Chiefs.

There was nothing left to do but to follow orders. Even though Dean was a firefighter, he was trained in paramedics and rescue, which meant that he was one to find people whenever they were in dangerous situations like this. Dean grabbed the material that was needed for an electrical issue while Andy grabbed the tools he needed as well. When he and Andy went inside of the building, they were engulfed with nothing but flashing lights and an alarm system that made it difficult to hear. There were little clouds of smoke that was making its way down into the lobby area as well but it was nothing compared to the black smoke that was upstairs.

As Dean and Andy continued to search the west perimeter, they managed to find the staircase needed to head to the 20th floor. The further up they went, the more smoke they were starting to encounter but it didn’t stop them from doing their job. By the time they made it up to the 20th floor, Dean was practically out of breath. His heart was beating in his chest and his legs burned but it wasn’t enough to slow him down. But he’d probably complain about it once he was back in the truck.

“Man, I need to workout more.” Dean gasped, taking two stairs at a time to catch up with Andy.

Andy snickered, “Well that’s what trainings for. To get you ready for stuff like this. Maybe you need to lay off the burgers.”

“Shut up.” Dean retorted, running past Andy to push the door open for the 20th level.

Behind him, Dean could hear Andy laughing but they didn’t have time to joke. There were people in danger and that was the main priority on Dean’s mind. They ran through the hall with their duffle bags flailing behind them. Dean skidded to a stop when he saw the elevators and began opening his equipment. Andy threw his bag down, copying Dean’s moves. When Dean pressed the button to activate the elevator, he noticed that the power was still on. The elevator began to squeak before the doors opened and closed. There was nothing but a dim light that barely revealed anything. 

Dean swatted at Andy’s shoulder to get his attention, “I need you to go on the roof and find the EMR. I want the power shut off so I can set up everything and bring me a key so I can get this damn door open.”

“You got it, boss. Be right back.” Andy yelled as he took off sprinting down the hall towards the staircase.

As Dean began to set up, he was able to hear a few other firefighters coming from the stairwell. When they made their way over, Dean explained the situation to them and told them that they would be helping him get the people out of the elevator shaft by opening the hatch on top of the elevator car. When Andy returned, he passed the universal key over to Dean so that he could open the hoistway door. When the doors opened partially, Dean, Andy, and two other rescue members helped pull the doors open until they were pushed far enough to fit people through.

Dean leaned into the elevator shaft and looked down. It was too dark to see anything so Dean set up a large light that allowed him to see down into the elevator shaft and there, he was able to see that the car was a few floors down. The car was too far for him to climb on top of, but that never stopped him from doing something reckless. Dean pulled out a rope ladder from his duffle bag and began to set up by clamping the ends of the ladder in different directions since there was nothing to hook them on to near the elevator. 

Once the rope ladder was secure, Dean turned to his colleagues, “I’m gonna go down into the shaft and open the hatch to the car.”

Andy nodded and reached into his bag to pull out a harness and safety tethers so they could make sure Dean would be safe while entering the shaft. When Dean was in the appropriate gear, he began climbing down the chute until his feet touched the top of the car. It rocked with Dean’s weight as he tested the balance of it. With the help of the light, Dean was able to find the latch that opened the top of the car’s hatch. He was also able to locate the switch that disabled the other elevator cars from moving. Once the cars were shut down, Dean lowered himself so that he was able to open the hatch. When the door opened, the civilians inside began to crowd the area in a panic. They were practically pushing over each other in order to get Dean’s attention.

“It’s okay, we’re gonna get you out of here nice and safe. I need you guys to calm down. Too much excitement may have a negative effect on this car, okay?” When he received _thank you’s_ and _please hurry_ , Dean climbed back up the ladder and came face to face with Andy. He was lying on his stomach, waiting for Dean to climb back up. “I need another ladder.”

Andy nodded, reached into his bag, and passed off a second rope ladder to Dean then watched him climb down again. It was hard to climb down the ladder with something in his arms but he managed. Dean carefully lowered himself onto the top of the car and began setting up the clamps onto the top of the car. After he was finished, he tossed the ladder into the open hatch and began to climb inside the car. When inside, he was able to assess the situation before shaking himself out of it.

“All right, I’m gonna need you guys to climb up one at a time. I want you guys to stay calm and I don’t want you guys pushing each other out of the way, okay? We’re gonna do this in a nice, orderly fashion and everyone’s gonna get out safely. I promise.” Dean took a small breath to steady his erratic heartbeat, “I’m going to head back up so I can help pull you guys up. Once I’m up, you guys can follow one at a time.”

When Dean made his way back up both ladders, he and Andy both got onto their stomachs so that they were ready to pull everyone up. One at a time, a person would climb up the ladder and Dean helped pull them up through the doors. They continued to give praise to each person as they made their way up the ladder. There were a few paramedics that arrived to help comfort the distressed people. When there was one person left to climb up the ladder, Dean noticed that the woman began to panic when the car shook just a bit.

She was hyperventilating. “I’m gonna fall.” 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re not gonna fall. I’m right here and I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?” Dean assured her while leaning further into the car, “Just climb up and I’ll grab you. We’re gonna get you to safety.”

Taking a deep breath, the woman began to climb up the ladder. Dean noticed that she was having trouble due to wearing heels. She slowly made her way up with cautious steps. When the woman was halfway up the ladder, her heel slipped and caught on the ladder, causing her leg to buckle and the ladder shook, causing her to lose her balance. Dean pushed himself further into the elevator shaft with Andy grabbing hold of his legs to keep him from falling into the shaft. He reached for her hand when she began to flail and lean backwards as the ladder began to dangle from her movements. Dean held out his hand, trying to grasp hold of her as she continued to tumble backwards and slipped off of the ladder completely.

“No!”

Dean watched in horror as the woman plummeted, her screams ringing in his ears until she collided with the double pulley. He was able to hear the startled grunt and the sound of her back breaking against the hard metal. In that moment, Dean became frozen as she stared back up at him with her eyes wide with fear. He wanted to move, but he couldn’t find the strength as he sat there watching as the blood began to ooze out of her skull and back. He watched as it slowly pooled around her, his eyes unable to look away. Above him, he was able to feel Andy grab hold of his collar and pull him away from the doors to get him to safety. There were voices surrounding him but Dean couldn’t make them out. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the open doors or bring himself back to reality for that matter.

***

“Dean?” A voice called out. It sounded too muffled to be close by. “Dean, can you hear me?”

_Yes, I can hear you_ , Dean thought but couldn’t find the right motor skills to get his mouth to form words.

“Come on, Dean, answer me.” There was something being draped around Dean’s shoulders, “Shit!”

_Why is there a blanket on me?_

“It’s okay, man. These things happen. You’re not always going be able to save everyone. It’s not your fault, okay? You did everything you could. I want you to know that.”

_Then why do I feel like shit?_

The sound of a 1-Alarm assignment made Dean flinch internally. 

When his vision began to focus, he noticed that they were back inside the station. He was sitting in the lounging area with no recollection of how he got there. Andy was sitting across from him with his arms folded across his chest and a look of concern on his face. There was a bottle of water on the table that was placed next to a double bacon cheeseburger. The smell of the burger actually made his stomach churn. It felt hot inside of the room but when he glanced down, his hands were trembling. His palms were sweaty as he flexed his hands before they went limp in his lap.

“Oh thank God.” Andy breathed out and leaned to sit at the edge of his seat, “Are you okay?”

It took Dean a moment before he was able to get his mouth to function properly, “Yeah, I’m good.” His voice was raspy even to him.

“How’s he doing?” Dean managed to recognize Chief Milton’s voice.

“I don’t know.” Andy kept his eyes on Dean, “He’s now just realizing I’m here.”

Dean sighed softly, “I’m right here." He tried to sound sarcastic but his voice just sounded hollow, "And I’m fine. Can we get back to work?” Dean leaned forward so that he could stand up but Milton placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down on the couch.

“Dean, this is serious. I’m going to go ahead and send you home. I can’t have you work in this condition. So you rest up and take it easy.” Chief Milton stood next to him with his arms crossed over his chest.

Dean scoffed in what he hoped was disbelief, “You can’t be serious. I’m fine.”

“Oh that’s bullshit and you know it. You were catatonic the whole ride back. I’ve been sitting here with you for an hour and a half to see if you’d even move.” 

Sighing, Dean slouched back against the couch and glared at the cheeseburger. “I said I’m fine.”

“Walk him to his car, Gallagher. I’m going to call someone to take your place, Dean. I can’t have you zoning out in the line of duty. I’ll still give you your time off so don’t worry about that.” Chief Milton turned and walked away, leaving only the sound of his boots against the tiled floor.

***

The drive home was practically a blur. Sometime during the evening it had started raining and Dean hadn’t even realized. When he pulled up into the driveway, he killed the engine and got out, slouching against the car. Dean’s gaze lowered to the wet ground as he slowly slid down against the car and sat there. In theory, the rain should have felt like ice against his skin but he couldn’t feel it. He couldn’t even feel the ground beneath him. His vision began to blur as the rain continued to pour down around him. Why did he feel this way? He couldn't help but feel shame and regret. He'd let someone die. He'd ran away Castiel and there was no guarantee that he'd bother to even return.

It felt like hours before he was able to hear the sound of two car doors slamming and sloshing on the ground as someone ran towards him. But the sound was so distant in his ears, he wasn't even sure that it was real or if he'd just imagined it. A pair of hands rested on his cheeks, forcing his head up so that he was able to look at whoever was holding him still. The figure in front of him was blurry but he was able to make out the ocean blue color. _You came back._ Dean blinked a couple of times but his vision continued to stay unfocused.

“Dean? Charlie, you go on home. I’ll take him inside and get him dried off.”

“Okay.”

Castiel slid his arms around Dean’s midsection and hoisted him up to his feet. He reached for the keys in Dean’s hand and guided him over to the front door. When the front door was open, Castiel pulled Dean inside then closed the door behind them. Castiel practically dragged Dean into the kitchen and sat him down at the small table. When he was sure that Dean wouldn’t fall over, he left to go into the laundry room and returned to the kitchen with an oversized towel. The vacant look in Dean’s green eyes was disheartening. He continued to stare forward without even acknowledging Castiel’s presence. Sighing, Castiel crouched down to remove Dean's boots and then kicked off his own. The last thing he did was removed their socks before standing back up.

Castiel reached for the towel and carefully draped the towel over Dean’s head and then began to gently rub the towel through Dean’s wet hair. Dean’s clothes were soaked. He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been sitting out in the rain before he and Charlie arrived. Castiel stepped closer between Dean’s knees, ruffling the towel down the back of his head and over his neck. A light touch against his hip made him jump just slightly. He hadn’t expected Dean to move any. When he leaned back, Dean was staring up at him with those green eyes he loved so much. The towel draped over Dean’s head before falling to rest against his shoulders.

“Want to tell me what’s wrong?” Castiel’s voice broke the silence. He was still hyperaware of Dean’s hand resting against his hip and of Dean’s fingers flexing, pulling at his shirt just a bit.

_No._ Dean swallowed, "I want to say that I'm sorry." His voice was barely above a whisper.

Castiel frowned slightly, "Tell me what happened."

Dean closed his eyes for a brief moment, “I watched someone die today.” Dean tilted his head back a little so that he was able to read Castiel’s expression.

“Oh,” Castiel pressed his lips together as he lifted the towel up to wipe the water that ran along Dean’s forehead, “But you’re okay?”

“It was my fault, Cas. I couldn’t save her. If I could have just grabbed her hand then maybe I could have pulled her up but she wasn't high enough.” Dean’s fingers curled into Castiel’s shirt.

Castiel shook his head as he used the towel to push Dean’s hair back, “Dean, you can’t save everyone.”

Dean narrowed his eyes, “Now you just sound like Andy.”

Castiel hummed softly, “You must be cold. I’m going to go get you some warm clothes, okay?” Castiel turned and took a step before he was pulled to a stopped by Dean grabbing hold of his wrist. He turned around, giving Dean a questioning look before his hand was let go. “I’ll be right back. Just wait here while I go find you some dry clothes.”

_Don’t go._

Dean nodded slowly and glanced up to see Castiel turn around to head towards the stairs. When Castiel began to walk away again, Dean stood up from his seat and grabbed hold of the Angel’s arm to keep him from moving any further. Dean kept his gaze downward for a moment before looking up to see questioning blue eyes staring at him. Dean’s jaws clenched tightly as his fingers flexed against the Angel’s arm. Dean lifted his left arm to grasp at the back of Castiel’s neck to pull him closer while dropping his hand from the Angel’s arm down to his waist.

_Please, don’t go._

A soft yet annoyed huff from Castiel brought Dean’s attention to his lips. Dean’s eyes were trained on Castiel, taking note of his curious gaze. Dean’s arm slid further around Castiel’s waist, his fingers splaying out so that he was able to pull him closer until they were flush together. When Castiel’s lips parted to speak, Dean surged forward, pressing his lips against Castiel’s in a tender kiss. An electric shock coursed through Dean’s body just as a crack of thunder and lightening echoed throughout the room. Dean leaned back, dropping his hand from behind Castiel’s neck. He licked over his bottom lip and took a step back to give Castiel space.

“I’m sorry.” Dean lowered his head, keeping his eyes on the floor. “I didn’t mea-”

Castiel stood frozen in his spot for a brief second before reaching up, placing both of his hands on Dean's face, and pulling Dean close to crash their lips together again in a heated kiss. Castiel curved his body against Deans and brought his fingers up to lace into the soft tufts of dark blond hair. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist and began to push forward until he was able to push Castiel against the wall. Dean slid his hands down Castiel’s hips and behind his legs, urging him to jump. Castiel quickly obliged, jumping and wrapping his legs around Dean’s waist.

Dean ran the tip of his tongue at the seam of Castiel’s lips, a soft moan sounding in the back of his throat as he thrust his hips between the Angel’s legs. Castiel parted his lips, letting Dean’s tongue enter his mouth to explore. Dean swallowed a soft moan that came from Castiel as their tongues began to wrestle for dominance. Castiel removed his fingers from Dean’s hair and began shoving off his jacket until it fell at his elbows. Dean pulled at the sleeves and threw the jacket behind him as he broke the kiss, only to place open-mouthed kisses along the column of Castiel’s neck. Their chests pressed together as Dean continued to trail wet kisses onto Castiel’s pulse and began to suckle at the skin until it turned red.

Another kiss against Castiel’s neck caused a small groan to leave his lips as he exposed his neck further for Dean. A shudder racked through his body at the feel of Dean’s tongue pressing against his pulse. When he felt a teasing bite against his neck, his hips bucked forward involuntarily as a soft gasp passed his lips. Without hesitation, Castiel began tugging at Dean’s sweater, trying to pull it up so that he was able to pull it over his head. Dean grunted as he leaned back and used his hips to pin Castiel against the wall so that he was able to help remove his sweater then tossed it off to the side. 

Dean slid his fingers beneath Castiel’s shirt, letting his nails rake over his skin as he started pulling up his shirt and tossing it to the floor once it was over his head. Castiel began to grind his hips impatiently against Dean’s, causing him to hiss through his teeth. When Dean began placing wet, open-mouthed kisses against his chest, Castiel raked his fingers through Dean’s hair then curled his fingers and pulled his head back. Dean’s pupils were completely dilated, leaving only a sliver of green irises. He was also able to smell Dean’s arousal as well feel the half hard member pressing against him.

“Upstairs?” Dean rasped and stepped back when Castiel nodded eagerly.

Castiel unwound his legs from Dean’s waist, reached for Dean’s hand, and laced their fingers together. Dean headed upstairs with Castiel following behind. Castiel’s heart began to hammer beneath his ribcage as he made his way up the stairs. _This is wrong. It’s forbidden for an Angel and human to be together._ When they reached Dean’s bedroom, Castiel was ushered inside first with Dean following behind him. Dean closed the door and turned the lock. He then reached for Castiel again, pulling him close against him and trailed his fingers over Castiel’s skin. Dean’s fingers ran against raised skin, his eyes falling to see symbols he couldn’t read. Castiel glided his fingers along the firm muscles of Dean’s back.

Dean began placing gentle kisses along Castiel’s neck, working his way down his shoulders, and then his chest. He then flattened his tongue and licked along his skin, passing over the Angel’s hardening nipple in the process. Castiel threw his head back as a breathy moan passed his lips. The feel of Dean’s lips and tongue touching his skin was beginning to sate the yearning feeling he didn’t even know he had. Castiel trembled slightly as his legs wobbled slightly. Tingles traveled up his spine as Dean slid his tongue over his other nipple, causing it to harden due to his ministrations.

Dean’s fingers began to trail along Castiel’s hips and up his sides. His skin was surprisingly smooth and soft to the touch. As he made his way down, Dean began to place kisses along Castiel’s hips, his lower stomach, and around the treasure trail that led to Castiel’s crotch. Castiel’s fingers slid through Dean’s hair, giving an occasional tug, which caused a low groan to emit from Dean’s throat. His lips brushed against the Angel’s skin as he made his way back up until he was standing again. 

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, their lips pressing together tenderly until Dean ran the tip of his tongue over the Angel’s bottom lip. His tongue soon slipped inside once Castiel parted his lips, their tongues now rubbing against each other in earnest. Fingers carded through Dean’s hair as he began to pull Castiel towards the bed. Dean fell backwards with Castiel landing on top of him. The Angel then straddled Dean’s hips, their tongues fighting for dominance until Dean gave a low growl and flipped them over.

Castiel’s eyes were glossed over with his lashes fluttering against his cheeks as Dean stared down at him. His fingers began to quickly unfasten the Angel’s belt and jeans then pulled down the zipper. With one swift motion, Dean pulled off Castiel’s jeans and boxers, tossed them aside, and took his time, marveling Castiel’s body and how his cock sat hard and heavy against his stomach. Dean leaned over Castiel so that he was able to press his lips against every inch of the Angel’s neck while he made haste at taking off his jeans. Once they were unfastened, he pushed them down his hips and kicked them off impatiently into the darkness.

The feel of their cocks rubbing together once Dean aligned his hips with Castiel’s and began to roll his hips in a slow manner was enough to make the Angel arch his back as a gasp escaped his open mouth. He threw his arms around Dean’s head and pulled him down harshly against his chest. Dean took Castiel’s nipple into his mouth, caught the nub between his teeth, and began to flick his tongue in a circular motion against it as it hardened in his mouth. Castiel spread his legs wider and began grinding his hips upward to match Dean’s teasing ministrations. 

A low groan escaped Dean as he bit between Castiel’s neck and shoulder. “God, I’ve wanted to do this for such a long time.” He then licked over his teeth marks. “I’m going to fuck you into the mattress, Cas.” He whispered against his ear. “I want to hear all those pretty little moans come out of your mouth while I’m fucking you. I bet you’re going to fit so perfectly around my cock. I’m going to bury my cock so deep inside of that little ass of yours, Angel.”

Castiel’s cheeks reddened as he listened to Dean’s words. They were so unexpected considering Dean was practically silent when he'd brought him inside. He’d only ever heard words of foreplay in the porn he’d watched on the hunter's computer when he wasn’t around. His brain began to work in overtime, trying to remember how this sort of situation went until his mouth actually moved on its own accord. “Please, Dean.” Castiel’s nails dug into Dean’s back, grabbing for purchase as Dean began to kiss his way down towards Castiel’s cock. “Ah, Dean, I need you inside of me. So deep inside of me.” His voice quivered, his eyes fluttering until he was just looking through his lashes.

“You have no idea how many times I've fantasized about this moment, Cas.” Dean placed a delicate kiss along the Angel’s shaft. “I don’t want nobody more than you.”

Castiel began to tremble, little breathy moans leaving his lips once he felt the warmth of Dean’s mouth surrounding the head of his cock. His finger tangled within the dark blond strands, giving little pulls every few seconds. “Oh God!” Castiel’s hips thrust up when he felt Dean’s tongue circle around the slit of his cock, tasting the pre-cum that pooled at the tip. With a huff, Dean grasped Castiel’s hips and forced his hips still to keep him from thrusting into his mouth. He then took the head into his mouth and began sucking; dipping his head up and down while his tongue massaged the underside of Castiel’s cock.

Dean relaxed his throat and lowered his head until his nose was pressed against the Angel’s pelvis. He then began to moan and purr, letting the vibrations in his throat stimulate the head of the Angel’s cock while bobbing his head up and down. He hollowed out his cheeks as he twisted his head, working his way back up to the head. Dean began to slide the tip of his tongue circle around the slit of the Angel’s cock before massaging into it. While lowering his head up and down, taking Castiel’s cock deeper into his mouth, he began squeezing and massage at his balls. He couldn’t help but to feed off every exotic moan that left Castiel’s lips.

“God, Damn it, Dean!” Castiel began to writhe beneath him every time Dean sent vibrations through his body. “God, Dean, please. I need you so bad. Please hurry up.” His fingers curled within Dean’s hair once again and pulled him up. Their eyes locked as Dean came off of Castiel’s cock with a wet pop, and swallowed the saliva that gathered in his mouth.

Dean splayed his hands over Castiel’s hips, taking in the curvature of his body. “I want you to beg me, Cas.” His lips curved up into a smirk as his nails began to feather against the Angel’s sensitive skin. “I want all of you.” His fingers gripped at Castiel’s hips in a possessive manner, their gaze never faltering. “I can’t wait to be do deep inside of you, Cas.” Dean gave a slow, teasing roll of his hips.

Castiel gasped, his hips rising at the feeling of his skin being scratched. “Please, Dean, please, please, please fuck me already. I need- Ah!” Castiel’s body jerked at the foreign feel of Dean’s finger pressing against his tight hole.

“That’s it, Cas… I have to make sure I don’t hurt you. I gotta make sure I work you open properly first. I’m going to take real good care of you, Angel.” Dean pushed up from between Castiel’s legs and just stared at him, drinking in his fill.

Castiel whined softly while spreading his legs wider, “If you don’t hurry, I’ll finish without you.” He threatened, his hand sliding down his stomach in a somewhat sensual manner. His fingers stopped short, just barely brushing over his cock.

A low growl left Dean’s throat as he crawled over towards the nightstand and took out a purple bottle of Astroglide. He then waved the bottle at Castiel before tossing it between his legs. “God, I can’t wait to hear you scream.” He gave a playful chuckle while settling between Castiel’s legs once again. He then lowered himself so that he was able to lie on his stomach. He lifted Castiel’s hips from the bed, letting his legs rest on his shoulders. His fingers squeezed at Castiel’s ass, spreading the Angel’s cheeks apart, exposing his tight hole.

Castiel keened at the unexpected feel of Dean’s tongue pressing against his hole. “Oh, that feels so good, Dean.” He panted, his hips grinding down slightly when he felt the tip of his tongue snaking its way inside of him. “Yes, Dean.” He grunted softly when his legs were pushed back to where his knees were touching his chest, causing his hips to lift further off of the bed. Castiel quickly latched onto the back of his knees to hold them up so that Dean wouldn’t have to.

Dean’s tongue swirled around Castiel’s tight hole until it was wet enough to slip in his middle finger to his second knuckle. Castiel’s body tensed at the feeling of Dean’s middle finger stretching him but the uncomfortable feeling was soon replaced with pleasure when Dean added more saliva to make it easier to slide his finger in and out. Once Castiel’s hole was wet enough, he inserted his ring finger inside as well and began to scissor him open while letting his tongue continue to make circles to keep him wet.

Dean spit into Castiel’s semi-stretched hole then began to thrust his fingers deep inside of him until his fingers ran across Castiel’s prostate.  
“Ho- oh fuck!” Castiel’s body jerked at the feeling as his eyes locked on Dean.

Dean quickly removed his fingers from the sensitive gland and then inserted his index finger. With three fingers working inside of the Angel, he couldn’t help but to grind his hips down, trying to force Dean’s fingers against his prostate again. “Ah, ah, Angel. I’m going to save that for my cock. I want you to cum on my cock alone.” 

The Angel panted softly before letting out a soft whine when Dean pulled his fingers from within his walls. Dean picked up the purple bottle, opened the cap, and then applied a hearty amount to his fingers. Once his fingers were well lubricated, he inserted them inside of Castiel’s waiting hole with ease. “I want to be the only man who’s allowed inside of you. You hear me, Angel? I want to be the only man who can touch you like this.” Dean lowered his head and bit down hard against Castiel’s thigh, causing the Angel to gasp out in shocked pleasure.

“Only you, Dean. Only you. I promise.” His chest heaved as his hips began to grind down on Dean’s fingers again as they continued to work inside of him. He desperately wanted to feel Dean’s fingers against his prostate.

“You’re going to be such a slut for my cock when I’m done with you, Cas.” Dean slid his fingers out of Castiel’s well lubricated walls then reached for the bottle once more, applied another hearty amount to his palm, and began slicking up his cock.

“A slut only for you, Dean.” Castiel repeated, his eyes gleaming as his head buried back into the pillows, causing his back to arch up.

“Good. I’m going to make you mine, Angel.” Dean took his cock, lined the tip with Castiel’s hole, and began to circle the tip of it around the muscle. He watched as the muscle fluttered, wanting to desperately be filled. Dean was happy to oblige.

“Stop teasing.” Castiel panted, his lashes fluttering until they rested against his cheeks.

Dean chuckled as he leaned forward and held the tip against Castiel’s rim and began to breach him. He moaned softly, pushing his hips onward until half of his cock was buried deep inside of Castiel. He then pulled his hips back slowly, letting the head of his cock catch against the rim of his hole. “God, you’re so tight.” Dean groaned softly before thrusting his hips roughly, forcing the entire length of his cock inside of Castiel until their hips were flush together.

Castiel’s back arched as a silent scream left him. His arms quickly wrapped around Dean’s shoulders. He was thankful that Dean was letting him get used to his size. He understood why prep was so important now. His walls began to clench around Dean’s shaft as he was stretched to fit the girth of the other’s cock.

Dean pulled his hips back, letting his cock drag slowly out of Castiel’s walls before snapping his hips forward once again. “Dean!” Castiel’s cry was enough to urge him on. He began to roll his hips tenderly, letting his cock brush against the Angel’s prostate in a teasing manner. Castiel panted at the feeling, his eyes fluttering shut as he gripped Dean’s shoulders tightly.

Dean then slid his arms beneath Castiel’s knees and leaned over the Angel so that he was able to thrust deeper inside of his walls. The Angel began to pant heavily as his hips began to roll down to meet the moderate pace Dean had set. Castiel’s cock throbbed between them, flopping against his stomach with each thrust. He desperately wanted to touch his cock to alleviate some of the pressure. But he also wanted to cum on Dean’s cock. His body began to thrum with pleasure as he tried to keep up with Dean’s pace.

“God, Cas, you feel so wonderful.” Dean growled softly against Castiel’s ear as his hips began to jackhammer against the Angel’s, his fingers pressing harshly around the Angel’s thighs. The only sounds within the room were their moans and grunts of pleasure and the slick sound of skin slapping against skin.

Castiel’s breath caught in his throat at the sudden change of pace, causing his eyes rolled back and his lashes to flutter against his cheeks. His lips parted as he began to gasp with each harsh thrust. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Dean!” Castiel began to chant after finding his voice. His body felt as if it were on fire. How could he have gone so long without seeking out pleasure? Dean shifted his hips, the tip of his cock now repeatedly slamming against the Angel’s prostate. “Yes, Dean, oh Go-, yes!”

Once Dean lowered Castiel’s legs, he quickly wrapped them around the man’s waist and crossed his ankles together. His hands then rested against Dean’s shoulders once again, relishing the feeling of how full he felt whenever Dean would thrust back into him or would grind the head of his cock against his prostate. Dean groaned at the pulsating clench of Castiel’s walls with each drag of his thrusts. There was no way in hell he was ever going to be able to give this up.

“I’m going to fill you up so much, Cas. You want that? I bet you love the feel of my cock inside this tight little ass of yours too, don’t you, Cas?” Dean took Castiel’s earlobe between his teeth and began to grind his teeth in a slow manner. He then began to circle his hips, leaving the head of his cock against Castiel’s prostate.

“Oh, yes, yes, yes!” Castiel’s body began to tremble as a raw heat began to claw its way into his groin. Castiel’s walls began to tighten around Dean’s cock, squeezing as if he didn’t want Dean to pull out anymore. His knees pressed harshly against Dean’s side, his own way of trying to ease Dean’s relentless thrusts. “I’m gonna- Ah! Dean, I’m gonna cum!”

“Gonna cum for me, Cas? Gonna cum on my cock alone?” Dean shifted his legs on the bed to get more leverage as his hips returned to their relentless pace, jackhammering the tip of his cock repeatedly against the Angel’s oversensitive prostate. He couldn’t help but savor the feel of how his cock slid perfectly inside of the Angel. He loved how perfectly tight Castiel’s walls were around his cock. It was something he knew he wouldn't be able to give up. “Cum for me, Angel.”

Castiel’s voice caught in his throat, his back arching off of the bed as he ground his hips down, rolling them in quick circles to try his hardest to keep up with Dean’s harsh pace and to keep the stimulation against his sensitive gland. Little quivers snaked up his spine, his legs began to tremor, and soft cries of pleasure left his lips. His eyes opened to reveal that they were now glowing a bright blue with a white center. The heat that was within his groin began to travel up through his entire body as the pleasured pain was starting to become unbearable.

“Dean…” Castiel panted, his fingers gripping tightly against Dean's skin. “Dean, shut your eyes.” A high-pitched moan left Castiel’s lips. “Shut your eyes!” 

Dean lifted his head to see Castiel’s luminescent blue eyes. When the Angel’s body began to glow, he quickly brought his arm up, buried his face into the crook of his arm, and tightly closed his eyes while using his other to keep him somewhat balanced. Another high-pitched moan left Castiel’s lips as his body began to quake and radiate with his grace. The room filled with an intense bright white illumination that Dean was still able to see even with his eyes covered and tightly shut. The blast that emitted from Castiel caused the doors and window to rattle with force and bottles that were on the dresser to topple over. Heat began to sink into him until it felt as if he were on fire. 

Once the room was dark again, Dean cautiously lowered his arm. It took a moment for his pupils to adjust to the dim lighting. He slowly lifted until he was on his knees, shifting his gaze down to see if Castiel was all right. The Angel’s eyes were still open – his pupils were dilated, heavy pants left his parted lips, and his chest and stomach were painted in cum. Dean had to admit that it was a beautiful sight, seeing Castiel covered in cum. Now all that was left was to fill him up.

Dean groaned softly when he felt Castiel’s muscles clenching around his cock once again. Castiel slowly lifted his hands from Dean’s shoulders and up into his hair. He then pulled Dean close so that he was able to press their lips together. The kiss was slow and passionate, their tongues tangling together as Dean shifted his hips again. His cock began to throb with each sensual thrust. Castiel continued to gasp against his lips with each hit to his prostate but he refused to break the kiss.

Warmth filled Castiel’s walls as Dean’s cock pulsated and spilled his milky seed deep inside of the Angel until it began to drip down the crack of his ass. Another wave of heat consumed Castiel as his eyes glowed blue, another rope of cum leaking from the tip of his cock and onto his stomach. Dean’s cock continued to throb, spilling another rope of cum inside of the Angel’s walls until his balls were officially empty, though he wasn’t in a hurry to pull out. Instead, he eased himself down on top of the Angel and rested his head against his shoulder. 

Castiel began carding his fingers through Dean’s hair, his own eyes now heavy. “Dean?”

“Mmm?” Dean mumbled as he buried his face into Castiel’s neck.

“Thank you.” He began to massage the pads of his fingers against Dean’s scalp.

Dean placed a tender kiss to Castiel’s jaw. “Cas, I’m sorry for … how I acted yesterday.”

The Angel laced his fingers in Dean’s hair, and lifted him up so that he was able to place a chaste kiss to his lips. “I forgive you.”

Dean began to plant soft kisses to Castiel’s jaw, leading down to the exposed skin of his neck. “I mean it, Cas. I was out of line.”

Castiel tilted his head, giving Dean full access to his neck. Castiel slid his fingers from Dean’s hair and over his shoulder, his fingers brushing against raised skin. Dean hissed at the touch against his shoulder.

“I know and I forgive you.” Castiel closed his eyes as he was beginning to feel sleepy. “I think I’m actually tired.”

“Then let’s go to sleep.” Dean placed his head back against Castiel’s shoulder and placed another tender kiss to his jaw before closing his eyes.

It didn’t take long before both of them were sound asleep. Castiel kept his arms around Dean while he continued to lie on top of him. With both out of energy, they didn’t bother to change positions throughout the entire night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave Kudos  
> and Comments. I enjoy everyone's  
> feedback! Thank y'all!
> 
> I also hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	6. Still of the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! It's here! I apologize for the long overdue wait but it's finally here!
> 
> I hope that you guys will forgive me >_< <3

**September 10th, 2009**

The sun shined brightly around the curtains, causing Dean to groan out in protest. He honestly didn’t feel like getting up, nor did he feel like leaving the comfort of the arms that were wrapped around him so securely. Typically, Dean prided himself in being the big spoon but for some reason, he felt comfort in being the little spoon for once. After a moment of silently debating on whether or not he should get up from bed, Dean shifted until he was on his stomach again. Slowly, the recollection of last night’s endeavors caused him to tense with slight unease. He’d had sex with a man. A man that just so happened to be an Angel. He lifted up on his knees and glanced down to where their bodies were still connected, a perplexed expression crossing his features. He then gave an experimental roll of his hips, watching as the Angel’s body twitched slightly. Dean cautiously pulled his cock from Castiel’s wall, the sensation causing an involuntary groan to rumble within his throat. Cum trailed after him, leaking onto the sheets and against the Angel’s thigh.

_Yep, definitely gotta do laundry now._

After yesterday’s endeavors, a shower seemed like a perfect idea. He didn’t want to have yesterday’s traumatic experiences still lingering on his skin. Part of him also wanted to wash away the memories of last night but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to do so. So, he got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He flicked the switch then jumped when the light bulb shattered, causing sparks to rain down above him. Dean glanced around the room then went to open the curtain so that it wouldn’t be so dark in the bathroom. As he turned around, he caught sight of the marks against his body in the mirror. There were two handprints against his shoulders.

Cautiously, he touched at the marks against his shoulder then let out a breath he’d been holding. The marks still felt hot when he touched at them or when he moved his shoulders around. He then glanced down, noticing deep purple bruises against his sides from where Castiel’s knees had been. Even though the marks hurt, he couldn’t help but feel a shameful pride that he was able to make the Angel fall apart.

Dean took a deep breath then turned on the water, letting it run hot before stepping in and quickly washed over himself. Thankfully, the shower was able to soothe the burning feeling on his shoulders. He’d have to ask Castiel about it once he was awake. Once he was finished, he grabbed a fresh towel, added a drop of soap, then wet the towel and carried it into the bedroom. There was no point in leaving Castiel covered in mixed fluids.

He used the towel to wipe down Castiel’s stomach and around his cock, making sure to be careful in case his body was still sensitive. To his surprise, Castiel was in a deep slumber, snoring soundly. Dean then began to clean between his legs, being careful not to hurt him. When he was finished, he put the towel into the hamper, and went into the closet so that he was able to put on a pair of boxers. After that, he slid his work pants on and began looking for his sweater. At that point, he remembered that he had threw it somewhere in the heat of the moment when he was with Castiel. Sighing, Dean closed the door behind him and headed to the living room to retrieve his sweater.

***

Since there was the usual morning traffic, it took Dean longer to make it to the precinct than he would have on his usual commute. Dean followed his usual routine of parking as far away from the door as possible and rushed to make it inside of the building. When he entered the doors, everyone in the building stopped whatever it was that they were working on. Eyes were instantly on Dean as he closed the door behind him. Dean let out an awkward chuckle as he walked past Andy M to go to his locker. Before he could open his locker door, Dean heard his name being called from the chief’s office.

A heavy sigh left Dean’s lips as he turned away from his locker and made it into the office. Battalion Chief Milton sat behind the old desk with his arms crossed over his chest. Chief Milton looked up from the computer when Dean closed the door behind him and took a seat. Dean knew that he was in trouble due to his behavior from yesterday but he honestly didn’t have any explanation for it. He pulled the corner of his lip between his teeth for a split second before opening his mouth to speak. The silence was beginning to get the best of him.

“What the hell are you doing here, Dean?” Milton’s question caught Dean by surprise.

Dean’s eyebrow arched in question, “Excuse me, sir?”

“I sent you home yesterday due to traumatic shock, Dean. I wanted you to relax after yesterday. Plus, someone already has your shift. I approved your PTO and I gave you this week off. Come back next week, Dean. I need you with your head in the game.” Milton folded his hands against the desk, a challenging look falling upon his face as he stared at Dean.

“I assure you, sir, I’m fine.” Dean’s voice raised a slight octave before his lips settled into a frown. “I had a good night’s sleep and everything.”

Milton shook his head, “Dean, this is serious. I can’t have you out on the field after just coming out of shock. What happens if you’re out there and something triggers this sort of thing to happen again? I need you sharp, Dean. Now, go home and get some rest. Come back next week.”

“Yes, sir.” Was all Dean managed to say before being escorted out of the department by Ross.

***

The ride home was quiet except for the sound of Def Leppard playing in the background. After pulling into the driveway and killing the engine, Dean got out of the car and walked over to the front door. Dean entered the living room, coming face to face with a disheveled – and naked – Castiel, standing against the counter with a cup of coffee. His jaw clenched as he took a deep breath through his nose. Mixed feelings raced through Dean’s mind while an intense heat pooled in the base of his stomach. Now wasn’t the right time to be thinking about the naked Angel being bent down over the couch.

“Uh, … hey, Cas…” Dean’s lips pressed together. It took him a moment to remember that he had to close the front door.

He then kicked off his boots and walked into the kitchen. He paused for a second before stepping over towards the Angel and rested his hand against his shoulder, giving him a friendly pat. Dean removed his hand and went over towards the refrigerator then took out a container of his leftover Chinese takeout. 

“Dean,” Castiel began.

Dean quickly shook his head. He knew that last night was a mistake and that he had caused all sorts of controversy from last night’s activities. “Y’know what, it’s okay. We can chalk it up to the heat of the moment. I mean, I wasn’t in my right state of mind and all that.”

Castiel’s brows drew together before shaking his head, “That’s not what I was going to say.” He placed the coffee mug onto the counter then walked over to wrap his arms around Dean’s waist, letting his cheek rest against Dean’s back.

Dean tensed slightly, his hand hovering over a leftover container that rested within his palm. “Oh, no?” He placed the leftover container onto the counter then managed to turn around in Castiel’s arms.

Castiel feathered his lips against the back of Dean’s neck before he began to turn around in his arms. “I wanted to say that last night was heavenly. There aren’t enough words to describe how I felt last night. I’ve never done that before. With a man, I mean. I was with a woman once but she turned out to be a Reaper then she killed me. But what I did, was it acceptable?”

Dean cleared his throat as he stared into the depths of Castiel’s ocean blue eyes. “Last night was pretty awesome, wasn’t it? Would even say it was an epic night.”

Dean took a slow breath before breaking their gaze and looked off towards the side, “Yes, what you did was very acceptable, Cas. But I …”

_But you what? Just admit it, Dean. You’re embarrassed that you had sex with a man. You defaced an Angel of the Lord._

_No, that’s not it at all. … Then what? Did you enjoy yourself? Yes. Would you do it again? Without shame this time? … Yes._

“But I … I’m just glad that you don’t regret it, Cas.”

“Of course not, Dean. I enjoyed myself very much.” Castiel smiled, tilting his head back as he thought about their night together.

“I’m going to ask for you to put some clothes on because I’m doing all I can not fuck you right here on the kitchen floor.” Dean cast his gaze downward, getting a full view of Castiel’s body.

With a smirk on his lips, Castiel pressed his body against Dean’s side, letting his cock press into him. He then began to sway his own hips, his cock rubbing against Dean’s thigh. Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel’s torso before picking him up and carried the Angel into the living room. He then sat down on the sectional couch with Castiel eagerly straddling his legs. Dean’s hands pressed firmly against Castiel’s hips, his thumbs circling around his hipbones. 

Castiel began to grind his hips down in a slow rocking motion, feeling the semi-hard member through Dean’s uniform pant. He then splayed his fingers along Dean’s jawline, holding his head steady, and hungrily pressed his lips against the younger man’s lips. He then lowered his hands so that he could pull at the zipper until he was able to reach inside and take out Dean’s cock and then wrapped his hand around the shaft.

“You want me to fuck you right here, Angel?” Dean’s pupils were fully dilated as he thrust his hips up against Castiel’s hand. “We can have a repeat of last night. You want my cock in your ass again?” Dean tilted his head towards the side when the Angel began to nip at his neck. Dean placed his hands against Castiel’s hips again and forced Castiel’s hips down against him until the Angel followed suit. He then started to grind his hips against Dean’s in earnest.

As they sat there on the couch – Castiel kissing over every inch of Dean’s neck while stroking his cock slowly, Dean’s hands squeezing at Castiel’s ass and spreading apart his cheeks – they were too preoccupied by each other’s company to hear the front door open.

“Oh my god!” The exclamation caused Castiel snap his head up.

“Charlie!” Castiel’s eyes widened as he fell from Dean’s lap.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt!” She shrieked before closing the door.

Dean shook his head and blinked away the lustful haze from his eyes to see Castiel was breathing heavily on the floor. “I’ll be right back, Angel. Go put on some clothes.” He ordered before getting up from the couch. He then readjusted his cock, putting it back inside of his pants and beneath his belt so that it wouldn’t be noticed and then zipped up his pants.

When Castiel was upstairs, he headed outside to see Charlie with the palms of her hands pressed firmly against her eyes. This wasn’t the first time he’d been walked in on. It reminded him of the time Sam had come to visit him in college and caught him in handcuffed to the bed while his fling at the time was bouncing on his cock. Dean couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact that Charlie was officially in the same position as Sam in this type of situation.

“Can I see your gun?” Charlie asked when she heard him approach.

“For what?” He asked, the smirk disappearing from his face.

Charlie shuddered as she lowered her hands. “So I can blow my brains out.”

Dean began to laugh again, shaking his head as he reached over to touch her shoulder. Charlie instantly flinched before swatting his hand away. “Oh, c’mon, Charlie. Don’t be like that. I’ll tell you like I told Sam. It’s a beautiful, natural act. Everyone does it.”

Charlie scowled at him as she swatted at Dean’s arm once more. “I didn’t want to ever see that side of you, Dean.”

“Ha! Sam said the exact same thing.” Dean laughed heartily, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Oh, you’re lucky, Charlie. Getting to witness how it’s done.” He patted her against the shoulder once again. “Let’s go inside.”

Charlie hesitated, “Wait, Dean, you’re –” She quickly jabbed her fist against his bicep, “You cheated on Carmen!”

“Hey, look, Charlie, I can explain everything.” How? Charlie placed her hand upon her hip, waiting for him to continue. “Well I mean, it’s kind of hard to explain but what else was there for me to do? I haven’t spoken to her in over two months.”

Charlie gave a perplexed look, “I thought you two were Skyping, on the phone, and all that.”

“We were. For like three weeks then nothing but radio silence.” Dean shrugged his shoulders. The look on his face told Charlie that he didn’t really care anymore.

“I’m sorry, Dean.” She reached over and wrapped her arms around his neck in a gentle hug, being cautious not to get too close.

He wrapped his arms around her, giving her a light pat on her back. “Nah, don’t worry about it, Charlie. Let’s go in, order some Chinese food, and watch some good old fashioned movies.”

Charlie smiled up at him as she let go then went inside the house. Dean wasn’t too far behind her.

***

“Suck it, bitches!” Charlie clapped her hands in joy then she pulled over the pile of candy and cakes that were in the center of the table.

“Oh you so cheated, you little brat!” Dean folded his arms in a defiant manner. His gaze shifted to Castiel. “Cas, you could tell me if she’s a cheater, right? Because I swear to you she always wins at this game.”

Castiel looked between the two, his brows raised as he shook his head. “I don’t want to get in the middle of whatever that is.” He gestured to the pile of candy that was now in Charlie’s grasp.

“It was supposed to be Poker but I just know she’s cheating.” Dean huffed out a breath as he stood up. 

“Cas, you wanna play?” Charlie gave a sweet smile, fluttering her eyelashes invitingly. 

“There’s nothing he can add to the table.” Dean snorted, slapping his hands lightly against the tabletop before pushing his chair back against the table. “Be right back. Gonna go drain the head.”

When Dean left out of the room, Castiel wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He flinched when he heard Charlie clear her throat. This was it. That embarrassing moment he knew all too well.

Charlie smiled over at him, her eyes squinting in the process. “So, you and Dean, huh?” Her smile turned into a coy smirk. “How long have you two been… y’know?”

Castiel stiffened, his expression showing a mix of fear and embarrassment. “Last night.” He peeked at Charlie through his lashes.

“Last night? I thought it was longer than that. You’ve been staying here for a couple of months now. I thought maybe you two were having an affair because Carmen was gone.” She reached for a pack of M&M’s, opened the bag, and popped one into her mouth.

“You’re suspicious of me.” Castiel’s head cocked towards the side as he observed her curiously. “I assure you this wasn’t supposed to happen. I just wanted to find a way back home.”

They sat silently for a moment before curiosity got the best of Charlie.

“Where is back home exactly?” She popped another piece of candy into her mouth.

Should Castiel really tell her? The last time they’d discussed the fact that Castiel was an Angel, Charlie didn’t take it so well. Maybe this time he could prove to her that he wasn’t lying. That he wasn’t some con-artist like she’d called him two months ago.

Just as Castiel was about to speak, the doorbell rang. He was about to get up to answer it but Dean had beaten him to it. Their food had arrived, causing the house to smell like Chinese food and he knew they’d be getting ready to watch movies next.

“I’m not from this universe.” He whispered softly. Charlie let out a puff of air. He could feel her energy, the skepticism, and the disbelief radiating off of her like a heat wave. “And I know you don’t believe me.”

Charlie’s lips pressed together. “Okay, if you are what you say and you actually did heal his leg. Can you heal other things?”

The Angel shrugged his shoulders, “I seem to be able to help to a certain degree.” Castiel watched as Charlie began to think over his information.

“Could you heal burns?” She ran her hand along her forearm. 

“I should be able to.” He searched her face for any hesitance and when he didn’t see any, he reached over and pressed his fingers against her forehead. Charlie instantly stilled beneath his touch. She only relaxed once he moved his hand away. “There. I healed your burned skin and carpal tunnel though I do recommend to continue wearing your brace at night.”

The redheaded woman stared up at him in disbelief before rolling up her sleeve to see if her burns were still visible. When she noticed that her arm was completely smooth, she began to hyperventilate. She flinched when Castiel placed his hand onto her shoulder to try and calm her nerves. “They’re gone.” She peered back up at him, a bright smile on her face. Charlie balled up her small fist and lightly punched Castiel in the arm, “Dude, did we just become best friends?”

A smile spread over Castiel’s features, her words reminding him of the Charlie they’d lost to The Book of the Damned. “Yes. We’ve become best friends.”  
Charlie beamed, “An IT girl just became best friends with an Angel. How sweet is that?”

“You two coming in here or what? Food’s gonna get cold.” Dean’s voice startled both Charlie and Castiel. 

They both got out of their seats and made their way into the living room. Charlie took her usual spot on the loveseat while Dean and Castiel sat on the sectional. Since Charlie had picked what movie they watched last week, it was now Dean’s turn. And his movie choice just happened to be _Back to the Future_. Since it was early enough, they sat through all three movies until it was late at night.

While Castiel sat and watched the movies, he began to understand the references Dean had made so many years ago. Even though he had Metatron’s help, it was still nice to see the actual movie his friend’s references had come from. For a moment, he felt as if he were betraying his friend again because he was watching movies that he knew were Dean’s favorite. But obviously they were a favorite here as well.

During the third movie, Dean made sure Charlie wasn’t paying them any attention before slipping his hand inside the waistband of Castiel’s shorts. The Angel stiffened, his gaze shifting towards Dean with a look of fright on his face. Of course he was afraid of being caught again. However, Castiel was only met with a smirk and a roaming hand that continued to feather against his flaccid member.

Castiel pressed his lips together, trying to hold back a moan as Dean continued to palm his crotch. He knew that if Dean kept up his teasing, he wouldn’t stay flaccid for long.

“I swear, Dean, you better not be molesting my best friend over there.” Charlie’s words startled Dean, causing him to snatch his hand away.

Castiel relaxed only slightly, his hands still balled up in tight fists at his sides. Dean laughed softly, turning his head so that he was able to see her, only to be met with a disapproving frown. “I thought you were watching the movie.”

“I was. Until I saw Castiel squirming over there.” She shook her head, “Didn’t you two go at it this morning?”

Dean’s pouted his lips slightly, “Nope. You cock-blocked me actually.”

Charlie snickered softly. “At least you’ll have tonight.”

“That’s if Cas is okay with going at it again. I’m sure he’s probably sore from last night.” He smirked, shifting his focus back on Castiel. The Angel glared at Dean, which caused him to clear his throat and look away. 

“Ugh! That’s _so_ gross.” She paused for a second then looked between them. “Wait, so you two actually had sex?”

Dean let out a nervous laugh as heat began to rise along the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah. It was pretty awesome.” Dean lightly shook his fist for emphasis.

Charlie blinked rapidly as she slowly began to rise from her couch.

“We were upstairs.” Charlie plopped back down on the couch with an audible sigh of relief. “We’ll spare your couch.” Dean silently chuckled to himself, “You staying the night or what? There’s a bedroom upstairs if you want to have a sleepover.”

Charlie’s face lit up, “Can I play video games?”

Dean reached for the remote that controlled the television then tossed it to her. “Knock yourself out.”

“Sweet! Don’t worry, I have noise cancelling headphones in the car.” Charlie got up from her seat, headed to her car, and then returned with a bag a few moments later. “You two go have your porn star moment. I’m going to play _Red Dawn Redemption_.”

“I don’t have that one, did you make me a copy at least?” Castiel looked between the two in confusion.

“No, but I can flash your _Xbox_. That way you can play the backup games for free.” She gave a cheeky grin as she brushed her hair from her shoulder.

Dean laughed quietly, “Oh Charlie, that’d be awesome!”

The redhead nodded, “I’ll do it tonight while you two are upstairs being porn stars. It takes a while.”

Castiel began to stand, reaching for Dean’s had as he did so. When they were both standing, they laced their fingers together and made their way upstairs to Dean’s bedroom and Castiel locked the door behind him. The Angel then hesitated. Maybe this was inappropriate, coming to spend the night in Dean’s room again. Were they really going to be intimate while Charlie still in the house? Then again, Dean didn’t seem to mind. It was as if he didn’t mind an audience.

When the Angel turned around, he noticed that Dean had disappeared into the bathroom. He faltered, wondering if he should follow behind. Of course Dean would have called him if he wanted Castiel to follow. The Angel nervously began to remove his shirt. Why was this so difficult all of a sudden? They’d had intercourse the previous night and now he was feeling as if it were their first time all over again.

After twenty minutes had passed, Dean returned with a towel wrapped around his waist and water dripping down his chest. He was surprised to see that Castiel was completely naked and lying down on the bed. It was a sight that he didn’t want to end. Perhaps improve it by making the Angel a quivering mess.

“Gee, Cas, you look nervous as hell.” Dean cocked his head a bit, his expression somewhat serious as he wondered what was wrong.

The Angel took a deep breath before twisting his upper body around so that he was facing Dean. “I’m just getting used to this is all.”

Dean simply nodded before crawling onto the bed after letting the towel drop to the floor. His body slotted perfectly around Castiel’s like a puzzle piece. Castiel took in a deep breath, his body shivering from the contact. Dean placed his hand onto Castiel’s hip, splaying his fingers out to touch as much skin as he could. He then placed his cheek against Castiel’s hair, his own hips now pressing firmly against his ass.

“We don’t have to do anything tonight, Cas. Especially if you’re scared because Charlie’s here.” He assured the Angel as he closed his eyes.

With his lids closed, Castiel rolled over until he was facing Dean. He then caressed the other’s cheek, letting his lips brush over Dean’s in a graceful motion. His fingers glided into the dark blond strands, letting the pads of his fingers massage against Dean’s scalp. His body trembled at the way Dean’s fingers feathered along his back, down the curve of his ass, and over the back of his thighs.

Even though they were just affectionate strokes, it was enough to arouse his longings. Ever since they’d had sex, it felt as if the floodgates had been broken and an ocean of cravings were just overflowing his body, yearning to be quenched. It was something he began to feel within Dean as well, feeling the longing within his heart. How could he not have noticed it before? It began to sing to him, lulling him in deeper to sate Dean’s own yearnings for him. His were much stronger than the Dean he knew back home.

A soft moan came through his lips when he felt Dean’s lips against his neck. His body was more than eager to respond, his leg wrapping around Dean’s hip to pull him closer. Their lips finally connected, their kiss turning fervent as their tongues wrestled for dominance. Again, Dean’s tongue was victorious, entering Castiel’s mouth with determination as he began to shift so that he was now between the Angel’s legs.

Dean began to grind his hips against Castiel’s, causing little breathy moans to leave the Angel’s lips. Dean thought it was cute that he was trying to be quiet due to Charlie being there. He then took Castiel’s bottom lip between his teeth and gave a gentle tug then let go. Dean lifted up when he felt Castiel place a hand against his chest, pushing him back.

“Too much?” His brow rose as he sat back on his knees. “I can stop, Cas, just tell me.”

Without a word, Castiel scooted up against the headboard then rolled over so that he was able to sit on his knees. He then wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, his fingers gently scratching against the nape of his neck. Dean shivered at the sensation, causing a throaty groan to leave his lips.

“No. I just wanted to try something else.” He blinked, wondering how he would go about what he had originally planned out earlier that morning. “Sit down, please.”

With a skeptical look, Dean obeyed and sat in the middle of the bed. Castiel gave a playful smile before bending forward – causing his back to arch, and slid the tip of his tongue from the base of Dean’s cock all the way to the head. “I’ve never done this before so go easy on me, okay.”

Dean gasped at the sudden stimulation to his cock. He wasn’t expecting it, though he was pleased to receive almost anything Castiel would have to offer. “Safe room, Cas. I won’t judge you. Just don’t bite me.” He gave a crooked smile, placing his hand at the crown of Castiel’s head.

Castiel gave an uncertain nod then took the head of Dean’s cock between his lips and then lowered his head. He hollowed his cheeks and began to bob his head up and down, taking more in with each nod. He took a deep breath through his nose and sunk his head down further until the tip of Dean’s cock was now touching the back of his throat. He then began fondling and gently pulling at Dean’s balls, being careful not to pull too hard. The fingers within his hair tightened as a low groan sounded within Dean’s throat.

Dean then let out a breath as he watch Castiel with fascination. “Cas, my cock looks so good going in your mouth like that. I bet you like having my cock in your mouth. Such a good little cock slut, Cas.”

Castiel then began to circle his tongue around the sensitive head, tasting the salty precum that leaked from the slit. He swallowed the taste then began letting the tip of his tongue toy on the underside of Dean’s cock. He grasped at the base, giving lazy little strokes as he continued to suck at the head. As he began to take in more, he moved his hand until he could feel the tip of Dean’s cock against the back of his throat again, humming as he did let the head touch the back of his throat so that vibrations were sent through Dean’s cock.

Dean reflexively thrust upward into Castiel’s mouth, sinking his cock further into his throat. While Castiel continue to keep his cock in his mouth, Dean leaned over him, coated his middle and ring finger with saliva, and then began to circle the two digits around Castiel’s rim until it was coated with his spit. He then inserted his fingers, relishing the way Castiel’s muscles tightened at the intrusion. Castiel whimpered softly, coming off of Dean’s cock with a lewd slurp.

“Ah, damn it, Cas, your mouth feels amazing. I’d love to fuck that pretty little throat of yours.” He continued to work his fingers inside of Castiel’s hole, causing the Angel to pant, making his breath hit against Dean’s wet cock. He then twisted his wrist, making the pads of his fingers to brush against the Angel’s prostate.

“Ugh! Dean, please, I want you to fuck my mouth.” He panted out before taking Dean’s cock back into his mouth.

With a growl, Dean pulled his fingers from the Angel’s hole, placed his hands against the side of Castiel’s head, and began to thrust his hips. Castiel gave a muffled moan, taking in a deep breath through his nose. Dean then planted both of his feet against the bed and began to thrust roughly into Castiel’s mouth, forcing the head of his cock to repeatedly pound against the Angel’s throat. Dean gave a loud moan as he listened to the wet, lewd moans coming from Castiel. He groaned, feeling Castiel’s tongue massaging the underside of his cock with every thrust. 

“Such a good cock slut for me, Cas.” Dean panted, holding Castiel’s head still as he kept his cock buried deep within his mouth. He then began thrusting his hips again in a rough manner. “Taking all of my cock, just like a good little Angel.”

The Angel’s eyes fluttered as he grasped at Dean’s hips for purchase. He gasped heavily when Dean lifted his head up, saliva falling from his mouth down to his chest. Dean then leaned forward, placing a rough kiss against Castiel’s mouth, their teeth hitting gently against each other. Castiel gripped at Dean’s hair, pulling harshly while straddling Dean’s hips.

“I want you inside of me, Winchester.” Castiel growled softly against Dean’s ear before taking his earlobe between his teeth.

Dean gave a low groan of pleasure, his arms wrapping around Castiel’s waist. “Turn around and get on your hands and knees. Show me what a good little Angel you are.”

The Angel eagerly obeyed, turning around and presenting his ass to Dean. He then wiggled his hips in a flirtatious manner as he reached beneath him to caress lazily at his cock. “Mmm, Dean I want you to fill me up again. Make me a slut for your cock.”

Dean shivered, listening to Castiel speak. Oh he was going to do more than that. He opened the drawer and reached inside, pulling out the purple bottle of Astroglide and tossing it near Castiel’s thigh. “You’re coming on my cock tonight, Angel. I want to hear all those pretty little moans again.” Dean crawled around the bed until he was behind Castiel and placed his hands onto his cheeks, spreading them apart to expose his hole. “I’m going to make your walls remember me.”

Castiel shuddered, his back arching as he lowered himself until his chest was pressed against the mattress. “Oh, Dean. Please, I need your cock inside of me now.” He panted softly. He gasped loudly when he felt Dean’s tongue against his hole. “God, Dean, yes, yes!”

Dean opened his mouth, sinking his tongue deeper inside of the Angel’s walls. He then inserted his index and middle finger and began stretching him open with the help of his tongue. He gripped firmly at the Angel’s cheek with his free hand while the other continued to thrust inside of his walls, spreading around his saliva. Castiel grunted softly, his hips pushing back to try forcing Dean’s tongue and fingers deeper inside of him. He keened loudly when he felt a harsh slap against his ass.

Dean then began flicking his tongue around the semi-stretched hole, toying with the Angel before spitting inside of his walls. He then inserted his middle and ring finger so that he was able to work him open once again. He used his free hand to open the bottle of lubricant and poured a hearty amount to the Angel’s hole. He then began thrusting his fingers in and out of his walls, spreading the lube around until he was glistening with it.

Castiel whined at the loss of contact when Dean pulled his fingers away. He began to sway his hips again, trying to urge him to hurry up. “Dean, please hurry. I need you so badly right now.” He spread his legs a little wider while arching his back again.

“I’m coming, Angel.” Dean cooed, slapping his hand against Castiel’s ass once again. He smirked when the Angel jumped, a high-pitched moan coming from his lips. “That’s it, baby. I’m going to fuck this pretty little ass and fill you so full of cum.” Dean added a sizeable drop of lubricant to his palm then applied it to his cock, stroking tenderly at the head. He then grasped Castiel’s ass cheeks and spread them so that he was able to slide his cock along the crack of his ass.

Castiel shivered at the contact. He wanted Dean inside of him yet he was being toyed with. He groaned loudly when he felt Dean press the head of his cock against his hole. He braced himself for Dean to enter him fully. He then relaxed at the gentle touches he felt along his back and against his hips.

Once Castiel was compliant, Dean pushed the head of is cock into Castiel’s lubricated walls and gave a slow roll of his hips. Dean made sure to keep his cock only halfway with each thrust. Dean then pulled out slowly so he was able to rub the head of his cock along the fluttering muscle. Dean pulled away completely, giving the base of his length a tight squeeze as if it would calm him down just a bit. A smirk spread across his lips when he heard Castiel’s whine of complaint at the loss of contact then reinserted the head of his cock once again. With one swift thrust, he thrust the entire length into the Angel’s walls once again until their hips were flush together. Dean shivered at the way Castiel’s body fit perfectly against his own.

The sudden movement caused Castiel to yelp out as his back arched, his hips trying to pull away.

“Nope, Angel. No trying to run.” Dean grunted softly as he wound his arms around Castiel’s waist and pulled Castiel back against him. The Angel panted softly as his walls fluttered around Dean’s length until the pain evaporated. Dean slowly began to roll his hips and then pulled back halfway, only to thrust with a harsh snap of his hips. The Angel’s fingers curled into the sheets, clawing at the soft material as he was being pulled back to meet Dean’s ruthless jackhammering thrusts.

“Fu-, fu-ck, fuck, Dean!” Castiel gasped, his hips rolling back to take the entirety of Dean’s length once he stopped his relentless pace. A low whine emitted from his throat when he felt the tip of Dean’s cock rubbing against his prostate. “Oh, Dean, please! Please, I’m so close.”

Dean leaned forward so that his chest rested against Castiel’s back and wrapped his fingers around Castiel’s neck and squeezed tight enough to leave fingerprints as he began to fluidly thrust against the Angel’s prostate in a rough manner, causing him to wail out in startled gratification. Castiel’s body began to quiver, savoring the sting of Dean’s cock as he continued massaging his walls. “God, Cas, you have no idea how good you feel. You’re so tight but I’m going to work on having you fit me perfectly.” The room echoed with the sound of skin on skin slapping harshly against each other with each snap of Dean’s hips. “You’re such a good little cock slut, aren’t you, Cas?”

Castiel gasped deeply with each thrust. His eyes slowly began to flutter shut as he struggled to stay lucid enough to listen to Dean’s words. Castiel’s body tensed, his mouth falling open as a soundless shriek left his lips at the unexpected stroke against his prostate and a rough smack to ass. “Yes, Dean! Yes, I’m a good little slut. Your good little cock slut.” His walls began to clench around Dean’s shaft, clutching forcefully as if it were a way to ease the unrelenting thrusts he were receiving.

A small sigh of relief left Castiel’s lips when Dean slowed his jackhammering pace. Dean began rolling his hips in a circular movement while letting the head of his cock massage against Castiel’s prostate. The Angel’s body began to quiver; his hips rotating back against Dean’s slow pace. “Dean, please… I’m going to – Ah!” His words caught in this throat at the harsh snap of Dean’s hips.

“You’re so good for me, Angel. Going to cum from my cock alone, aren’t you, Cas?” Dean’s fingers slowly trailed up along Castiel’s thighs before splaying against his hips. He then pulled back slowly, letting his cock drag along Castiel’s walls before thrusting harshly against Castiel’s prostate once again.

“Fu-! Yes, Dean. I’m gonna cum on your cock!” Castiel cried out through each jerk of his body from Dean’s pace. Heat slowly spread through his body as he began to feel that same raw intensity spread throughout his core from the previous night. It was as if it were overshadowing him the more it spread, from his groin to his chest. Castiel’s breath came in pants as he began clawing at the sheets once again as Dean hammer against his prostate with vehemence. His eyes sprang open, revealing their blue glow as he quivered weakly against the bed.

“Dean shu- ah! Shut your eyes.” He breathed out, his own eyes starting to flutter. “Shut your eyes, Dean.” A silent cry left his lips at the overstimulation to his prostate. “Shut your eyes!” 

Dean made sure to keep his focus on Castiel, watching as his body began to glow from the lower part of his back, all the way up to his neck. This time, he was able to hear a buzzing sound resonating from the Angel as he spoke. When the brightness within his body became too much, Dean quickly buried his face within the crook of his arm with his eyes tightly shut.

Castiel growled softly, his body writhing as the intense heat consumed him just like the night before. A high-pitched moan left Castiel’s lips as his body began to quake, glowing with his grace. The room once again filled with a powerful white radiance that Dean was still able to see even though he had his eyes covered. The intense, heated blast that emanated from Castiel caused the doors and window to creak in protest due to the force. The Angel continued to grind his hips back against Dean’s cock, causing the younger male to thrust forward to help him ride out his orgasm.

It took Dean a moment for his vision to focus in the dark room once again. He leaned over Castiel and began planting delicate kisses along his spine. The Angel had a light sheen of sweat coating his skin and his hair clung to his forehead in a matted mess. Dean smirked as he rolled his hips slowly, enjoying the tight squeezes Castiel’s walls were now giving his cock with each spasm that coursed through his body. He groaned softly at the pulsating sensation as his balls tightened, spilling his creamy seed into the Angel’s walls once again.

Castiel’s body trembled. His legs felt as if they were about to give out on him the longer he stayed on his knees. He savored the feeling of Dean’s cum trailing down his thighs as it trickled out of him. His walls continued to contract, milking every ounce of cum he was able to get. His chest heaved, as he finally was able to rest against the bed, though Dean continued to stay buried deep within him. He followed Dean’s movements until they were lying on their side, his back pressed against Dean’s chest.

For a moment it appeared as if Castiel couldn’t find his voice. Then again it was as if he couldn’t get his brain to form any type of sentence. A blanket then draped over his shoulders, surrounding them both. Dean ghosted his lips against Castiel’s shoulder before adding delicate kisses to his skin. 

“That was … It was … amazing.” Castiel mumbled softly, wiggling his body so that he was able to press closer against Dean’s chest.

“You’re amazing, Cas.” Dean sighed in happiness. “Let’s go to sleep, Angel.” His arm wound around Castiel’s midsection, his fingers splaying out against his stomach to hold on to him as if he were going to leave again.

Within minutes, they were both sound asleep, cuddling beneath the thick blanket.

***

September 11th, 2009

It was a peaceful sleep. Dean and Castiel were still joined at the hips, as they stayed cuddled close together beneath the heavy blanket. The sound of a heavy guitar riff echoed within the background of his mind, forcing him to regain consciousness. Dean groggily sat up, being careful not to wake Castiel as he reached on the nightstand for his cellphone. He pulled the device from the charging cable then swiped the screen to answer it.

“Dean?” The voice on the other end suspected.

“Uh, yeah. … Sam?” He questioned as he moved the phone away to look at the screen.

“Yeah, it’s me. Were you sleeping?” There was a light chuckle on the other end of the line.

Dean settled back against his pillow, his eyes closing as he thought about Sam’s question, “Yeah, I was. Why, what time is it?”

Sam laughed again, “It’s like 2:45 in the afternoon for you. You never sleep this late.”

A lazy smile spread across Dean’s face as he thought about the night he had with Castiel. “Aha, yeah I know. Had a pretty busy night. What’s up, Sam?” 

Sam sighed softly, “I just wanted to check up on you. I just got out of class and I wanted to see how you were since I haven’t heard from you in a few weeks. Plus Charlie told me you had a guest staying with you.”

Damn it, Charlie! Dean thought as he rubbed at his chin. “Yeah, a friend of mine came to visit me. Haven’t seen him in like four years so it’s really good to see him.”

“I’m actually surprised you have friends, Dean.” Sam chuckled. “So what’s his name and how long is he staying with you?”

Dean yawned, stretching his torso a bit before carefully pulling his cock out of Castiel’s walls. He suppressed a moan, knowing it wouldn’t go unnoticed by his baby brother. “Castiel. I call him Cas.” Dean answered automatically. “Oh, I don’t know, Sam. He told me he needed a place to stay so I’m letting him live here.” He leaned over Castiel, placing a gentle kiss to his jaw before shifting so that he was able to sit at the edge of the bed.

“Castiel? Isn’t that an Angel name?” _Wow, could Sam be anymore of a nerd?_ “Are you sure that’s wise, Dean? I mean what if something bad happens?” It was just like Sam to always worry.

Dean let out a sarcastic laugh, “C’mon, Sam. I’m a big boy. I can handle myself. Besides, aren’t I supposed to be the one looking after you?”

“Right, man.” Dean could practically feel Sam rolling his eyes as he spoke. “Is he going to be there for the holiday? I’d like to meet him if he’s taking care of you.”

Dean gave a confused look before realization hit him. “Oh, right. He should be here. At least I’m hoping so.”

“Great. Can’t wait to meet him.” Sam paused for a moment before speaking to someone else in the background. “I have someone I want you to meet too.” Sam finally said after bringing his attention back to Dean.

“Is it that mystery girl I’ve heard in the background? Because I gotta tell ya, I’m dying to meet whatever girl that’s willing to stay with my geek of a brother.” Dean laughed softly as he stood up and walked into the closet. He pulled out a pair of lounging pants and slipped them on.

“Eat me, Dean.” Sam said, more than likely with a deadpan expression.

Dean let out a cheeky laugh, “Oh, little brother. Always so serious. Learn to relax, man. I can’t wait to see you. Hopefully with a beautiful mystery girl on your arm, eh? Promise I won’t steal her from you, Sammy. Then again she might just pick the hotter brother.”

Sam snorted, “Yeah, sure, Dean… How’s Carmen by the way?” 

Dean shrugged even though Sam couldn’t see. “Haven’t heard from her. I was going to call her a little later to see if she’d answer but I’m not holding my breath.”

There was a pause on the end followed by a heavy sigh. “I haven’t heard from her either. I’m sure she’s just really busy.”

“Ah, Sammy, I’m not worried. I’m sure I’ll hear from her soon.” His tone came out a little more untroubled than he intended.

“That’s good.” Sam cleared his throat. “Hey, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? I have to get ready for my next class.”

Dean nodded, “All right, Sammy. It was good talking to you. Let me know when you’ll be arriving when you get ready to come out.” 

“Sure, Dean. Always good to talk with you too. Later, jerk.”

“Later, bitch.” He smiled as he hung up.

Dean then pocketed his phone and left out of the room so that Castiel could sleep in peace. When he made it downstairs, he noticed Charlie curled up on the couch with the Xbox controller clutched tightly in her hands. The music from _Left 4 Dead 2_ continued on a loop through Charlie’s headphones until Dean muted the TV. He then managed to pry the controller out of her hands and saved her progress so that he could turn off the system.

He gently tapped at her shoulder with the back of his fingers, “Charlie?” He watched as she burrowed deeper into her blanket. “Charlie.” He called out a little louder though he didn’t want to startle her.

“Merry Christmas!” She sat up instantly then looked around bewildered until she spotted Dean. “Oh, hey Dean.”

“I thought you would have slept upstairs. Why are you on the couch?” He placed the controller onto the coffee table.

Charlie rubbed at her eyes as she yawned then looked at him with a frown. “You two were _so_ loud. I stayed down here so I wouldn’t have to listen to you screwing an Angel.”

Dean smirked, his brows rising as he looked at Charlie. “Sorry. Cas is a screamer.”

“So gross, Dean.” Charlie gently kicked at him.

Dean stepped out of the way of her foot then folded his arms across his chest. “I got a call from Sam a little while ago. Says a certain redhead told him I had a guest over.”

She quickly threw her hands up in a placating manner, her expression pleading for him not to be upset with her. “In my defense, I didn’t know you hadn’t told him. You tell each other everything.”

Dean rolled his eyes while letting out a puff of air. “Now he wants to meet him. Truth is, I don’t even know if he’ll still be here by then. He might find a way back home.” The thought of Castiel leaving to go back home made him feel apprehensive.

Charlie pouted, taking notice of Dean’s expression. “At least you have him while he’s here. Might as well make the best of it. Where is he anyways? Still sleeping?” She then cleared her throat, “Speaking of Cas, what happened to your shoulders?” She placed a hand on her hip after noticing the bruises over his torso and on his shoulders.

Dean nodded before walking into the kitchen. “He’s gotta power back up. I came down here so he can sleep.” He then paused, taking a moment to look at his shoulders then began to chuckle. He’d completely forgotten about the handprints that Castiel had left behind from their first night together. “They’re a gift from Cas.” 

Charlie nodded slowly, the look on her face showing her confusion. “Makes sense.” Charlie got up from the couch and stretched out her limbs. “I should get going. I gotta prepare for this weekend.” She sighed softly as she packed up her backpack. “I’ll see you later, Dean.”

“All right, kiddo. See you later.”

After grabbing a bottle of water, Dean walked Charlie to her car, gave the roof of her car a pat, and then stood back. Charlie gave Dean her favorite Vulcan salute before backing out of the driveway and headed down the street.

***

September 16th, 2009

Since Dean was given a week off from work, he and Castiel practically spent every waking moment together. Whenever they were out, they continued their routine of Castiel ordering food and giving it to Dean after he’d finished his own meal. During their shopping trips, Castiel had to make sure Dean didn’t follow him into the dressing room due to fact that Dean continuously tried to be intimate with him. They even began shopping for the holidays since Dean literally didn’t have anything other than Christmas tree decorations that their father managed to salvage from when he and Sam were kids. Since it was too early for decorating, they just put everything in storage for when Dean decided that they would actually decorate for the holiday.

While at home, they continued their romantic activities though they were now cautious as to where they spent their time together in fear of getting caught again. Almost all of their nights were spent with Dean breeding Castiel while other nights they cuddled and talked about nothing in particular. Even though Castiel was skeptical about doing any passionate activities outdoors, Dean was able to coax him into agreeing every so often. The Angel had to admit that the more time he spent in the alternate universe with Dean; the more he was beginning to want to stay. 

That was the thing about growing attached to humans. He knew that what he was doing was wrong but he couldn’t bring himself to stop or to care. Of course he loved Heaven and his brothers and sisters but it was nothing compared to his time spent with Dean. There were times where he missed his friends and would use his remaining energy to dream walk into his Dean or Sam’s dreams while Dean was asleep next to him.

It was always nice to see the brothers but his visits were always filled with bad news. With each visit he made to Dean, he began to feel guilty. They would speak about their progress and Castiel always avoided the fact that he and the alternate Dean were very close or the fact that he was beginning to have second thoughts about leaving. Neither the Angels nor the Demons knew how to get Castiel back home. Both times he spoke with the brothers, they’d told him that they’d even look into recruiting powerful witches. The one that they really wanted to find was Rowena and they all knew she was very hard to find whenever she didn’t want to be found.

***

During the Wednesday afternoon while they were out shopping for new clothes, Dean decided to make one final stop to a surprise store. He refused to tell Castiel where they were going until the title The Pleasure Chest came into view. Dean drove into the parking lot, pulled into a parking spot, and then killed the engine. When he looked over at Castiel, he was surprised to see a pure petrified look on the Angel’s face.

“Dude, relax.” Dean reached over and patted his forearm with the back of his hand.

The Angel flinched at the contact, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath, “Why are we here, Dean?”

A smirk appeared on Dean’s face as he took another glance at the store. “I figured we could get some new toys for the bedroom. Let’s go in, have a look around, and see what we like, huh? It can’t be that bad.”

Castiel was practically trembling within his seat. He was beginning to have flashbacks of when Dean had taken him to a strip club before his encounter with Raphael. He folded his hands within his lap as he tried to keep calm. “Dean, this is a den of iniquity. I can’t go in there.” He gazed over at the shop before looking turning to face Dean again. “We shouldn’t be here. This isn’t funny, Dean. Let’s go back home.” He rattled off, panic settling within his core.

Dean began to laugh, “Dude, seriously. Relax, okay? Iniquity is one of the perks of rebellion. Besides, what you and I do every night, ain’t no worse than what goes on in there.” He gestured to the shop with his thumb. Castiel swallowed, taking in Dean’s words. “I’ll be right there with you, okay? We won’t even be that long.”

When Dean got out of the car, Castiel hesitated before getting out to shadow him inside of the store. Once they were inside, Castiel held on to the belt loop of Dean’s jacket so he was able to stay close by. As they walked through the dim-lit store, Castiel noticed that Dean had an expression on his face that reminded him of a child in a candy store. He watched as Dean browsed through flavored lubricants, different colored dildos, anal plugs, and other various sexual toys.

“Check this one out.” Dean smirked as he held up a baby blue jeweled anal plug.

The Angel glared at him then turned his attention to the plug in his hand. “Why do we need that?”

Dean snorted, rolling his eyes as he did so. “To keep you stretched open. You can wear it during the day while I’m at work.”

Castiel gave a perplexed stare at the plug within Dean’s hands. “I imagine that would be very uncomfortable to wear all day.”

“Gotta try new things, Cas. Plus, it matches your eyes.” He gave a cheeky smirk. “I can’t wait to see you wearing it.”

Castiel’s eyes widened at him. “You’re actually getting it?”

“Damn right I am.” Dean reached and grabbed a wire basket that had a silk cover on the inside and tossed the anal plug into the basket. “We can have some fun with these.”

Castiel gripped onto Dean’s jacket a little tighter as he watched him grab another anal plug for backup and an anal plug that was shaped like beads, going from smallest to largest. As Dean walked along, picking out different items, Castiel just helplessly followed as embarrassment and nervousness began to eat away at him.

Dean mainly picked out items that he thought would be fun to try whenever they were alone and had time to add in new toys. Then again he knew that he would be put back on 48-hour rotations, which gave him plenty of time with Castiel. He knew that during those times, it was going to take a lot of work to try and get Castiel to actually loosen up and be more comfortable whenever they had sex. He had to admit that once the Angel got started, he could moan like a wanton whore and that just made fucking Castiel that much more enjoyable.

Castiel prayed silently that Dean would hurry up so that they’d be able to leave but not soon enough, he got his wish. They left the store with much more than he thought Dean would be willing to purchase. He was starting to think that there might not be much difference between the two Deans when it came to anything sexual.

***

It was late when they arrived back home. Dean had made another detour so that he was able to get food since he didn’t feel like cooking dinner. Castiel was delighted to be back home. The trip to the sex shop was more than enough adventure for him in one day and he wanted nothing more than to shower to wash off the stench of it. They carried the bags inside of the house and took everything to Dean’s room. It was a slow progression but soon enough, all of Castiel’s clothes were in Dean’s closet.

After putting up everything and both were showered, they headed downstairs so that Dean could eat dinner.

“So, Cas…” Dean sat down heavily on the couch after sitting his container of food on the table. “Have you got any word on… uh, going back home?”

The Angel was seated in his usual spot on the sectional couch, watching classic cartoons that Dean had told him about a few years ago. “No word yet. They don’t know what happened or why I was sent here. They’ve asked other Angels and they didn’t know how to reverse what happened. Same with the Demons.” He turned so that he was able to watch Dean stuff his mouth with a loaded taco.

“So that means you get to stay here longer, right?” He asked around a mouthful of his food.

Castiel watched him for a moment longer then focused his attention back to the cartoon show. “So it would seem. Rowena went into hiding and she’s a very hard witch to track down.”

Dean choked around his food before swallowing. “There are witches? The hot kind that are in porn or the ones that have those long noses with warts all over their face?”

“Actual witches, Dean. They’re not very nice people.” Castiel settled back into the cushions as he folded his legs beneath him.

Dean nodded slowly before finishing off his food. When he was done eating, he got up and threw away his garbage, grabbed a beer, then sat back on the couch with Castiel. They sat together in comfortable silence, both watching cartoons. After a short while, Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel’s shoulder and pulled him down until they were lying on the couch with Castiel’s head resting on Dean’s chest.

“Y’know you can always stay here with me. You wouldn’t have to worry about any more monsters or things trying to kill you. Hell, you wouldn’t even have to worry about other Angels trying to kill you.” He began to card his fingers through Castiel’s hair. “You would also have someone who reciprocates your affections.” He whispered the last part against Castiel’s hair before giving a gentle kiss to the dark strands.

Castiel swallowed. He knew that Dean was right. Before he would have given anything to go back home so that he could be with his best friend. He would have tried to find a way on his own to even go back home. He’d prayed to his Father for answers months before and hadn’t got anything. But now, he was more than conflicted about this turn of events. He wanted to stay in this alternate universe with Dean and possibly live normally. Or, if he were able to, go back home where he would be considered an outcast amongst his brothers and sisters. Back home he didn’t fit in anywhere but the Winchesters tried to make him feel like family.

Familial love wasn’t what he wanted when it came to Dean. He’d admitted that once and kept quiet about it afterwards. Maybe his affections wouldn’t be reciprocated with the older Winchester back home. He’d be delusional to think that he could ever have any kind of relationship with Dean. He honestly didn’t want to live in some fantasy world where he could pretend that being by Dean’s side was enough, but here, he could have a home and the love he desperately wanted. 

Castiel inhaled slowly, snuggling his cheek against Dean’s chest before closing his eyes. Would it actually be so bad if he actually stayed?

***

During their time on the couch, Dean had managed to fall asleep while watching a rerun episode of _Scooby-Doo_. Castiel knew that Dean had to be up for work in the morning so he managed to drag Dean upstairs into his … their shared bedroom and placed Dean onto bed. He’d even managed to untie Dean’s boots and undressed him from his shirt and jeans. He’d seen Dean sleep in his clothes plenty of times but he always imagined it would be quite uncomfortable. When he were human, he preferred sleeping in the nude and he was actually glad that Dean didn’t have any objection to his preference.

Once Castiel had finished with Dean, he managed to get undressed and crawled into the bed and closed his eyes. Since his body didn’t really require sleep unless physically exhausted, Castiel just stayed huddled close to Dean and listened to the man’s steady heartbeat throughout the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading!  
> Please leave Comments and Kudos if you've  
> Enjoyed this story.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave Kudos and Comments. I enjoy everyone's feedback!


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